Choose Right: Seek to Clarify not Second guess

Second Guess? Anytime you don't like something that has been said, decided, or you hear- immediate reaction is to second guess - and usually it moves south ward- negative thoughts, negative emotions and eventually negative talk- which then storm up to a self fulfilling prophecy.

Here's how some great and empowering moves by your boss or peers sometime get lost in our game of second guesses.

1. Boss Says " I am trying hard to make sure you get more visibility, some great projects, so you get the much deserved promotion ". What Boss means- he believes in your capability, you have been working hard, however he doesn't see too many people recognising that, and he would like to fix it. Your second guess says "Ouch! looks like Boss is buying time, my promotion is not on the card, he doesn't want to promote me, worst I will never get promoted in this organization". Result- your energy levels drop, you try reaching out to other people to do a "barometer check for your promotion" and get mixed responses- you start running down your boss. You start looking out for a job. And now your boss is all confused , whether he is right in his assessment and if you really deserve that extra boost. A well intended comment has whipped up a storm, and well the promotion may now be more distant than it would have been. Trusting , or seeking clarification, or simply laying out your fear upfront with your boss and understanding how you can bridge the gap, would have definitely helped , wouldn't it?
2. Again let's take a case where Boss ( usually the culprint) has made another statement. She looks at your colleague and tells him to pull together what is needed to accelerate the launch of a product and walks off. She has said this in a hurry in continuation to some discussion she has had with your colleague. Your colleague knows you are critical to this project and the best placed to lead it. Before anything happens, you second guess " And again, so much bias, this should be my project, and now she wants me to support or work under my colleague for this, really? " Your colleague reaches out to discuss who should be part of the core team, you are simmering inside and instead of volunteering to lead or partner, you delegate it to someone junior in your team. Your colleague requests you to reconsider, you are too upset to talk further and stay fixed. End result: Your boss may call you back to ask you why you delegated an important project to someone junior, in her mind questioning your judgement, or might simply assign more responsibility to some one else.

In both the cases, Second Guessing hasn't worked to your advantage. Try leaving negativity at bay, approach people with positivity and seek clarifications before any communication clouds your judgement or ability to trust.

Clarifying builds trust, helps ensure speed and good decisions and can only help you speed up with your goals.