Choose to Let Go!

One of the most difficult things we need to learn how to do in life is to let go!

Let go of fear as we learn our physical abilities, as soon as we are born; let go of the comfort and protection of our parent's house, as we enter adulthood; let go of our children, as they grow and embark on their journeys, etc.

And it is no different when it comes to your professional life - not only it's a hard skill to master, but it's also necessary that you do it, in order to progress.

For instance, the more senior you get, the less control you'll have over the way that detailed tasks are completed.

I still remember how hard it was for me to allow the team I used to manage as a Head of Risk to complete risk assessments and communicate with the business areas the way they saw fit.

Don't get me wrong, they were all more than perfectly capable of doing their job, they simply didn't do it in the same manner I would.

And as my name was on the line (as their manager) I secretly preferred they would do things my way.

But the reality was, they didn't, but they still did a great job!

This allowed them to leave their mark, develop their skills and allow me to operate at the strategic level that I should - in the way that it's meant to be!

I'm sure that a lot (if not all!) of you can relate to this.

So, how can we apply the 'art of letting go' to support you in revamping your career, in achieving your personal goals?

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When it comes to defining your next career step, one that will fill you with motivation and excitement, the ONE thing that you must be able to do is to focus on your core desires.

Although this might seem simple to achieve, it tends to be quite complicated!

Mainly because you are surrounded by fears, biases, and expectations.

To truly connect with yourself and understand the direction your career should take, you need to let go of the following:

1. Old goals: let go of an old path you saw fit for yourself, years ago.

When we finish key stages in life, like High School or University, we tend to define a goal and work towards it relentlessly, without stopping to ask ourselves along the way if the goal still makes sense.

I know that when I finished my Economics degree, my key goal was to come to London (I'm Portuguese) and become a Director in Banking. But, somewhere along the way, that desire started to fade away and the thought of becoming a director was no longer exciting - quite the opposite!

So, ask yourself: what are you pursuing currently? Does it still excite you, or are you doing it out of habit?

The reason why is so hard to let go of old goals is because, even though they might not be exciting, they are fully defined and the path to them is familiar.

2. Personal biases: let go of your expectations, linked to this vision you had of yourself.

As with everything, we are our worst critics!

We create these images of ourselves in our heads and then believe that if we don't follow through, we are somehow diminished.

When I started to contemplate what I wanted to do with my career, it was extremely hard for me to let go of all the bias I had towards leaving the banking industry - the perceived status, the fact that all of my friends work in banking, would people think I simply couldn't make it in the industry?

What I didn't realize is that people don't care about what you do with your career!

And that your value is linked to who you are, not what you do for a living.

So truly ask yourself, what are the biases you have towards making a career decision?

When you believe you should do something, it can be extremely difficult to let go of those biases to embrace something else that would make you happier.

3. External expectations: let go of what other people expect you to do.

Always remember that you are entitled to your feelings and your thoughts and you are the one that needs to enjoy your day-to-day, what you do for a living.

One of my clients was an MD in banking, the deputy of the General Counsel (GC), and one of the things we discussed was how could she become a GC. But what became obvious, was that, actually, she didn't want to become a GC!

So why were we even talking about that?

It was a combination of an 'old goal' and the fact that all of her professional network expected her to do so.

I mean, she was on the line of succession and she was gaining the experience to do it, so the next logical step was to progress into such a role - it was hard (but also extremely liberating) for her to admit that she didn't want that role.

Ask yourself: are you working towards something because it excites you or because (you believe) someone expects it?

To pursue a goal because other people want it is allowing them to control your life.

The magic happens when you... let go!

Let go of all of the above and watch it unfold.

If you need help in letting go of fear, old projects, biases, and/ or expectations, I would love to help you in your journey. Reach out (DM or email) and let's chat!

Email: [email protected]