Choose To Challenge? Really? In 2021?

As International Women’s Day comes around, I look at the theme of “Choose To Challenge” and mull on what there is to challenge. Sure, there are many countries and cultures where women get a very raw deal but in a relatively rich and well educated place like the UK, surely this is not the case in 2021? Do we really have stuff to challenge still?

Until you look around you.

There are TV channels where is seems like every other advert is for life insurance. So what? Until you notice the two common “use cases”. One is the youngish father asking for a quote so the family will not perish and starve to death if he passes away … “the wife can pay off some bills and maybe some of the mortgage”. The other is Debbie McGee talking about insurance to cover our funerals and so we won't be a burden on the family when we’re gone, there's some nice old dear talking about equity release for the same purpose.

This stereotyping is hardly the end of the world and is small in comparison to things like the Me Too Movement. However, it does reinforce a very outdated image that a woman needs a man to keep a roof over her head and she should aim not be a liability, even when she’s dead.

Think about it. When was the last time you saw an insurance ad where a woman was phoning for cover so the husband and kids would be okay? Or where her wife and the kids would be okay?

This bigotry is also out there in public. Just a few years ago I went on a driver awareness course after getting a speeding ticket (yes, I know it’s not big and not clever to exceed the speed limit). We were asked as a group to talk about the potential consequences if someone was seriously hurt or even died as a result of an accident. One mouthy chap piped up about how serious it would be if it was the “man of the family” involved and the family would lose their income and even the small things, such as who would take the son down the park for a kick-about.

My desire to berate, laugh and cry at this absurdity were fuelled in equal amounts. As single-parent, who does he think provides for my son? Puts food in his mouth? And taught him to swim? And kick a ball? And listens to hours of endless monologue about Super Mario?

It does come down to us, each as individuals, to Choose To Challenge.

I recently got into a debate on Facebook. I made a comment about the passing away of a public figure who made her name in tacky 70s comedy films and more recently in a London based soap. All of a sudden she was being lauded as some sort of saint and being anointed with the title of “national treasure”. My dislike of her stems from having read her autobiography quite a few years ago and finding out many things I found distasteful such as being well in with the criminal fraternity, having relationships with both of the Kray brothers and a marriage to Ronnie Knight. She had affairs with married men, including a 3 year long one with Sid James. And 5 abortions. I'm not anti-abortion and they have their place but having 5 of them (for non-medical reasons) is treating them like a method of contraception.

It seemed quite a few people felt the same as I did but then someone asked me why I let it bother me?

I replied that I thought “… it’s a very sad reflection on the values much of society holds these days. Many people rightly appreciate our front line workers and those who make a real difference to humanity but others still seem to think that "celebrity" is something special. I had the radio on whilst working and there was one feature after another about her. We should be encouraging our children to look to icons such as Ada Lovelace, Dolly Parton, Kylie Minogue, Nadiya Hussein... women with talent, integrity, style, not someone who made a career from nothing more than bawdy jokes.”

I was then told by this person that I was being judgemental and that nobody is perfect.

My response was:

“This is not being "judgemental". It is an opinion. And I have a right to have an opinion and to voice it. And others have the right to disagree and also to ignore that opinion. An opinion is defined as "a thought or belief about something". On the other hand, being judgemental is usually defined as "someone who often rushes to judgment without reason". My opinion on this person is not without reason. I developed this opinion based on facts I read about her life published in her own autobiography. So hardly based on lack of reason.

 If I go back to my previous point, I would prefer my child to grow up seeing women being admired and praised such as Tanni Grey-Thompson, Jesy Nelson, Emmeline Pankhurst, Karren Brady, Adele, Helen Mirren, Nicola Adams, Amal Clooney, Meryl Streep, Judy Shiendlin, Diane Fossey, Judy Dench, Julia Donaldson, Dame Kelly Holmes, and so many more I could reel them off for hours. How this other person spent the majority of her life does not in my view justify the way she is now being apparently exalted.”

This goes again back to the point about Choose To Challenge – including choosing the role models we want our children, both boys and girls, to aspire to.

They pick this up from us constantly even when we might now even notice. I see the WAGS of McFly and from what I see, they look like a genuine and nice bunch of people. Like their husbands seem to be. And they’re hands-on parents. And have careers. And real lives. Am a huge fan of Giovanna.

Then I look at the Kardashians. Who are reportedly worth a combined figure of over $2 billion. Let that sink in. $2 billion. From what? Well, it started with a reality show and then led into fashion lines, a perfume brand, cosmetics line, etc. But it’s not exactly like they’re running up some frocks on a sewing machine or sat in a lab making scent. They simply put their name to a product and take a commission every time one goes off the shelf.

$2 billion should be a prize for curing cancer. Or a fund for solving the refugee crisis in Syria. Or a pledge towards fixing the global climate emergency. It should not be a sum of money owned by one family simply for doing the “job” of being famous.

So, yes, there is still plenty to challenge on in 2021.

In how you think, in what you speak up about and even in how you spend your hard earned cash.

Choose To Challenge !