The Choices We Make

It's not always easy.

“The measure of choosing well, is, whether a man likes and finds good in what he has chosen.”?— Charles Lamb, 1833

I had to make a difficult decision this week.

Every January, the?Baker Street Irregulars ?holds its annual dinner in New York City, bookended by a couple of days before and after, consisting of get-togethers, informal dinners, lunches, receptions, and the like.

I’ve been attending these annual festivities nearly without interruption since 1996. Last year, as the world was still off-kilter, the meeting was held virtually for the first time. And in October,?we lost the leader ?who transformed the organization over 23 years.

Reconvening after two years and commiserating over the loss of dear friends was called for, if only as a salve for similarly affected souls.

But, it was not to be.

My son is a senior in high school and plays goalie for the varsity hockey team. His team has a tournament this weekend (something that had already caused me to truncate my usual 4-day trip to New York.

But his team had a Covid scare last week, and after seeing the rising numbers around the country and knowing the festivities would include gathering indoors with many people, I made the decision to scuttle the travel plans entirely.

Not an easy decision, but there will be other BSI Weekends (although I may never see some of those friends again, due to age). My son will never have another senior year in high school and a starting position in this particular tournament.

I Would Prefer Not To

When faced with clerical tasks in his new job as a scrivener at a law firm, Herman Melville’s character Bartleby at first takes them on without complaint in “Bartleby the Scrivener.”

But by his third day, when the lawyer asked him to proofread a document, Bartleby replied, “I would prefer not to.”

Over and over, when he was requested to perform a task in line with his job, he summarily refused. The lawyer tried to rid himself of Bartleby and approached it in the most ethical way, but he felt sorry for the scrivener and let him continue in his job.

Eventually, the lawyer moved his practice elsewhere, but Bartleby remained behind. The befuddled landlord didn’t know what to do with him, so he had the police remove Bartleby. Once in prison, Bartleby refused food and eventually starved to death.

All because he preferred not to do what was asked of him.

We all face difficult decisions. And sometimes, the right decision is hard to make because it’s lonely. Peer pressure works like that.

While leadership is a team sport, there are decisions leaders make that are isolating. Without a doubt, leaders get input from their team as they prepare for the decisions, but there are times when all heads turn toward the boss’s seat at the table and look for an answer.

Perhaps it’s the decision to lay off a large group of employees. This is never an easy task, with so many lives and livelihoods at stake. Or the choice to return to the office when the pandemic is hasn’t finished running its course. No one knows for certain where things are headed.

But we reach certain milestones and we need to determine our direction moving forward.

Last January, the United States reached a milestone when some Americans tried to stop the democratic process from playing out. And today, a year later, there are political leaders who are making their choice on which side of democracy they stand.

No one wants to make decisions that will cause them to be unpopular.

Many leaders will be faced with choices that place them at the center of an ethical conundrum. Doing what’s right may negatively affect the bottom line or relationships. One would hope that it positively reflects on reputation.

But at that moment, the decision is no longer about you as an individual; everyone who looks up to you as a leader is counting on you.

Leadership means knowing yourself, your values, and the values of the institution you lead. So that when it’s time to make a decision, you don’t waver.

Even if your first thought is, “I would prefer not to.”

Thanks, and I'll see you on the internet.