The choice of maturity and character (part II)

Only people who fully understand themselves can fully understand other people. These are traits of mature and responsible people.

?? Unless you're willing to take full responsibility for what's going on inside of your heart and mind, the interactions that you have with other people are guaranteed to be and an endless array of miscommunications, misunderstandings and misinterpretations.

Subsequently, if your heart is full of peace, faith, generosity, hope for a positive outcome, and love, you will express your inner emotions through an authentic and mature way.

If your heart is mainly ruled by fear, doubt, bitterness or anxiety, then what you say and how you say will be for the purpose of hiding the truth about what's truthfully going on inside of you.  

“You are equally as important as I am. Your perspective is equally as important as mine. Let's respect each other here!”

?? If one person assumes that he or she is living life in a more 'correct' way than another, this is both disrespectful and degrading. Without unconditional acceptance in our relationships, there can be no mutual respect. Without a foundation of unconditional acceptance in our relationships, we are not free to authentically be who we are around others.

Unconditional acceptance tells someone else the story that, "You are not me, and I am not you. You get to be you in this relationship, and I get to be me. We do not need to change each other. I have my interests in life, and you have yours. You are the expert of your life, and I am the expert of mine. Let's agree to respect where we both currently are in life."

Character traits are the aspects of a person's behaviour and attitudes that make up that person's personality. We all have character traits, some good and some bad.

?? Maturity is the character trait that separates grown up's from emotionally unstable (and immature) infants. While many people assign maturity to an individuals age, it's important to understand that growing in age isn't the same thing as growing in maturity.

?? Maturity has little to do with how old a person is or what profession they commit to in life.

?? Maturity actually has more to do with how willing they are to assume complete responsibility for their actions, their behaviours, their motives, manipulative efforts and emotional inconsistencies.

Regardless of behavioural preference, we're all on the same journey of maturation in life - it's just that some of us travel at a faster speed than others.

It's important to understand that maturity is a choice, not a destination!

Despite what you may currently believe about the word 'maturity', we don't start to mature in life until we accept full responsibility for our words, our actions, our attitudes, our emotional inconsistencies and our opinions.

Some people choose to grow. Some people don't.

Responsible people are wise people. They expect more from themselves than what anyone else ever could expect from them.

?? So, if you want a few tips for becoming a mature and responsible adult, regardless of your age: take full responsibility for every word that comes from your mouth. Take every thought that enters your mind captive, and if any of these thoughts are inaccurate or invalid, don't validate them.

?? Assume responsibility for your attitude, your feelings, your emotional inconsistencies and also for your attitude. Your life is your responsibility.

?????? If you screw up at times, which you will, don't blame your parents, your partner, your coworkers and don't blame your boss, don't blame society, the government, religion. Don't blame your friends or your family. But be mature enough to look in the mirror.

Question to reflect:

???Are there times that you point the finger towards other people when it would be more helpful if you pointed it more at yourself?

Mature people aren't afraid of being told the truth. In fact, they love the truth! Mature communicators also are not afraid to show the other person what is happening inside them, or hear what is going on inside of someone else.

?? There are some critical obstacles to communication depth that we must acknowledge and overcome if we want to take our communication (and our relationships) up a level.

Three of which I will define as being selfishness, laziness, and superficiality (falseness).

?? Selfishness is an obstacle that stands in the way of anything positive entering our lives.

The main result of selfishness is arrogance and pride. The self-aware person wants to understand others; the selfish person wants nothing else other than to be understood.

?? Another obstacle to communication depth is laziness. In short, most of us are lazy human beings who take the path of least resistance at every given opportunity. Most people hope to do as little as possible and yet to receive as much as possible for their efforts.

Most people have no desire to feel discomfort - the greater the comfort zone, the better. Often, we build our relationships on the pillars of convenience and comfort.

?? The last but not the least obstacle is superficiality. Being superficial does not help you to have a deeper understanding of your own (do you remember the “iceberg” metaphor?) https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/self-discovery-journey-part-i-mihaela-murariu/

Superficiality is the opposite of discipline. Committing to depth awareness and self-discovery journey is hard work and requires discipline.

Discipline is something no-one likes, but that most people admire.

Disciplined people are usually always the humblest.

When choosing people to spend our time with, humility is a trait that's attractive to us all. Humility is the opposite of big-headedness, arrogance and pride (when all people do is talk about themselves).

Believe it or not, but did you know that most people hate the truth?

Most people choose lies, superficiality and falseness to truth. Because most often, people aren't mature enough to accept what's true. Truth often offends.

Seek to understand the experiences in your past which have led you to limiting beliefs. Be honest with yourself and be honest with other people, because this is the key to creating meaningful life and relationships that last the test of time.

If you ever find yourself slipping back into your unhelpful attitude for being a mature one, then take responsibility for yourself, take responsibility for what needs to be changed, and become the change that you want to see happen. Enjoy your self-discovery journey!

PS: BECOME BETTER! ??