A choice called courage...

This week I enter the challenging territory of courage. A virtue that lays at the centre of a life well lived. We all know how important courage is, yet so often we struggle to find it in our own lives. Sitting down to write this article I’m reflecting on my own experiences with courage. And while there have been some big moments in my life where I’ve needed it, I do feel somewhat inadequate in my regular use of it.

As early as the 14th century, courage was used to express a person who lived with valour, who possessed the quality of mind which enables one to meet danger and trouble without fear. Examples of courageous acts fill our history books, they live strong in the hearts of battle-weary soldiers, and we recall sporting heroes making one last ditch effort to achieve the impossible.

All of us have at least one famous Evel Knievel stunt from our childhood; launching ourselves off a roof with our makeshift wings or learning to drive a tractor at the tender age of twelve. No doubt a great sense of pride washes over you recalling your own tales of youthful courage; either that or absolute stupidity.

Today we define courage as:

“mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty".

Recently I have fallen for an excellent podcast, The Daily Stoic. The superb Ryan Holiday serves up bite size insights on the branch of philosophy called Stoicism. I’ve always revered the principles of Stoicism; it is hard to comprehend how the teachings of these men thousands of years ago could remain so relevant and compulsory to our lives today.

The stoics divided virtue into 4 main types and through their collective writings help us to understand the nature of being human.

These four virtues are:

1. Wisdom
2. Justice
3. Courage
4. Self-Control

Learning more about the stoics has deepened my understanding of courage. My early understanding of courage was about “facing your fears”, “being the lion, not the sheep”. I adhered to the principle when faced with fear to be as courageous as a lion!  And while this isn’t altogether wrong, it suggests we only need it in the most fearful of circumstances.

If I asked you to remember a time in your life when you were your most courageous, what springs to mind? For many of us it will be a memory of a difficult time; perhaps an illness or tragedy, a loss you had to mourn or a situation that needed all your might to push through.

Today I want to challenge us to expand our concept of courage. I put to you that courage is that virtue we need to act on every day, often in situations where we don’t think it’s needed. I have recent examples where I’ve needed to put this in practice. Ending my career with my recent employer after a long and successful tenure was a time of great excitement and pride. I enjoyed the many farewells, and congratulations from many….and then the dust settled, life moved on and I was left to contemplate: What next?

I recall making a conscious decision to use this time to grow my courage; to stand tall in the face of ambiguity, to breathe deeply into interview rejection and to remain abundant in my confidence and conviction. In the early weeks a dance regularly played out in my head, one partner called Fear, the other Courage. Back and forth they would step on each other’s toes, stumbling to make any progress, some days getting completely stuck in their routine. Yet with practice came improvement. This career break has cemented one truth: 

We all have courage; it comes from inside us.  We must learn how to use it every day.

We often witness incredible acts of bravery and courage on the news or watch movies where an ordinary man/woman displays extraordinary courage and we think to ourselves, “wow, I could never do that, I just don’t have the courage”. It’s so easy to recognise courage in these larger-than-life situations. My provocation is to remind you it’s the little situations in our life that need our courage. When we choose courage everyday, it can have a profound impact on our positivity, our decision making and ultimately our happiness.

There are numerous tools to help you on your courage journey as a leader. These 10 from a Forbes article some years back is an excellent source. Courageous leaders:

1.   Confront reality head-on. 

2.   Seek feedback and listen. 

3.   Say what needs to be said.  

4.   Encourage push-back and dissent. 

5.   Act on performance issues. 

6.   Communicate openly and frequently.  

7.   Lead change.  

8.   Make decisions and move forward. 

9.   Give credit to others.  

10.  Hold people (and yourself) accountable. 

Keep these 10 close and regularly test how well you are practicing them. You can also use my favourite courage quotes below to reinforce the essence of courage:

1. I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. Nelson Mandela

Is there a larger beacon of courage than Nelson Mandela? His actions transformed his people and an entire country! We can learn so much from the greatness of this man. We as human beings are all made for greatness. Know that your courageous actions every day will help you live life to it’s greatest potential.   

2. It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare. Mark Twain

When you think about it moral courage isn’t a complicated concept, in its most basic form it is merely the act of doing the right thing when it is much easier to do otherwise. What makes it so daunting is it takes a great amount of effort to go against the grain, often alone and with criticism from many. Our obligation as leaders is to role model courage, more often than not the moral kind, not physical!

3. Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision. Winston Churchill

What a powerful quote to settle the debate, courage doesn’t exist without fear.  Courage doesn’t eliminate fear, it just makes the fear less powerful. One approach to practicing courage is to work on the small things that scare you and work to conquer those, they will then help you to conquer the deeper fears you hold.

Every day we have a choice; to choose comfort or to choose courage. In the great words of Brene Brown, you can’t have both.  My hope is you continue to choose the latter. After all, it is a choice.