'Children are our Gurus' - How can we improve our relationship with our children?

A. Introduction:

Our normal perspective about children is that – they not as competent or complete as adults.

This is true in one sense.

We come into this world in a semi-developed form and our development happens till we reach adulthood (18-21 years).

However – there is another side of the coin – Children are our Gurus.

Surprised?

Let’s explore…

B. Children - The Pure Essence of Love and Joy:

When we think about children, our hearts overflow with affection.

They are pure love and joy, radiating innocence and acceptance.

Children possess an extraordinary capacity to embrace us unconditionally, free from judgment.

Their mere presence infuses our lives with light and happiness.

C. A Nurturing Instinct:

As parents, our inner desire is to create a holistic environment for our children's holistic growth – emotionally, mentally, and physically.

This beautiful responsibility is embraced with boundless love.

But, could there be more to a parent-child relationship?

D. The Other Side: Emotions of Frustration and Anger:

Occasionally, moments of frustration and anger grip us in response to our children's behaviour.

When our child displays traits that trigger concern - there is an urge within us to intervene and take corrective action.

When they don’t listen to us despite our repeated requests, explanations, or instructions – sometimes, we lose our cool & shout at them.

However - is there a deeper purpose behind these emotional responses?

E. Children as Mirrors: Reflecting Our Inner Landscape:

Our children serve as mirrors, reflecting aspects of ourselves that need attention & healing.

When a specific trait in our child evokes strong anger in us, then it is a message to us to become aware of the existence of that very same trait within us.

At first, it may not be very easy for our conscious mind to accept that trait within us.

Usually, there is an underlying judgment within our inner space against the trait.

An inner belief is deeply imprinted in our subconscious mind that that particular trait is ‘not good’ or ‘bad’.

This judgement prevents our conscious mind / ego from accepting that trait within us.

Our conscious mind / ego intrinsically considers that we are ‘good’ and any trait that is ‘bad’ (in its view) cannot be part of itself.

Let me give you an example.

Say, if you find your child lying to you regularly and you get angry at them – then it is true that you also lie to others.

Second – you intrinsically believe that – it is ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ to lie.

So – when you see your child lying – you are subconsciously reminded of the trait within you.

This triggers an emotional reaction and you burst out in anger. ?

F. The Universe is Neutral:

In reality – nothing is good or bad.        

Everything on this planet has a natural outcome.

Some traits, actions, thoughts, and emotions have harmonious outcomes – while others create disharmony / dis-ease in life.

It’s our choice – whether to choose harmony or disharmony.?

For example – Telling lies is neither good nor bad. It has its natural outcome:

·?????? People stop trusting you

·?????? It is difficult to forge strong seamless, deep, collaborative relationships with people

Now – if one is comfortable with this natural outcome – one can continue to tell lies.

Else – one can choose a different reality.

G. Choice and Release: The Path to Transformation:

This understanding is very liberating for the parent and the child.

With this awareness – the parent can now make different new choice.

He / she can now choose to identify the trait in the child that makes her / him angry.

Then become aware that the same trait is within him / her.

Then he / she can choose to let go of the judgement from his / her inner space that the trait is bad or wrong.

Once the judgement of wrongness is released – it becomes easy to embrace the trait within you.

And that’s when the shift begins to happen.

H. Meditation: The Key to Inner Harmony:

Using meditation as a tool for inner healing yields profound results.

Through deep meditation, we shed judgments and accept ourselves compeletely.        

Once we completely accept the trait – it begins to dissolve and release from our inner space.

After its complete release – a new version of our Avatar gets created.

I. Ripple Effect: Shift in us facilitates a release in our child

Once the trait is released from us – most of the times – there is an automatic shift in our child.        

The trait dissolves in our child as well.

The child doesn’t need to hold the mirror anymore.

The soul of the child had agreed to facilitate our inner journey.

But when we complete our journey in that aspect – there is no reason for the child to carry the trait

Hence – he / she quickly drops it and the trait is released from the inner space of the child.

This entire process is healing and transformative for both the parent and the child.        

It helps in fostering a strong relationship between them.

J. The Beauty of Love: Children as Compassionate Gurus:

Our children's love is boundless and selfless.

Even in the face of our anger, they continue to mirror only to help us grow.

The role of a Guru is to hold a mirror for us and our children do exactly that.

When we look at this from this fresh perspective - it dissolves any remaining anger or resentment within us.

Instead, we embark on a journey of self-improvement, inner transformation, and sharing a joyful space with our children.

Alpha Healing Meditations from Spoorthi Wellness are one of the most simple meditation tools that aid us in this journey of inner healing & transformation.        

Spread the Wisdom: Share and Transform:

If this revelation resonates with you, we encourage sharing it with fellow parents in your network.

Wish you all the very best for this journey of building a strong relationship with your children through inner transformation.

Namaskar

P.S - You can watch a video on the above by clicking on the link below

https://youtu.be/Tpzc1jPb4Z4