Children and Grief: Breaking Down the Taboo

The death of a loved one is difficult for everyone involved, but it can be especially confusing and isolating for children. While parents are often provided with support in the wake of a family member’s passing, children are often forgotten, as if they don’t experience grief in the same way adults do. This misconception can lead to children feeling alone and ill-equipped to cope with their big feelings and emotions. Let’s explore why it’s important to recognize and support children who are grieving.?

What does Grieving Look Like for Children??

The truth is that grief doesn't look the same for any two people—and this holds true for both adults and children. For example, a child may grieve differently than an adult would because they don't yet have the life experience or language needed to express their sorrow. Some common signs of childhood grief include changes in mood or behavior (such as sleeping too much or too little), physical symptoms (like headaches or stomachaches), social withdrawal, difficulty focusing on tasks at school or home, increased clinginess, outbursts of anger or fear, bed-wetting (or other regression to earlier behaviors), nightmares, guilt over things they said or did prior to the death of their loved one, fear that other people close to them will die too, etc. It's important to remember that these responses are normal; they don't necessarily indicate that something is wrong with your child.?

How Can We Help??

The most important thing we can do when helping a child through grief is simply listen to them—and validate their feelings without minimizing them. We could encourage our children to talk about their loved one without pressure. Give them them space when they want it. Help them make sense of what happened by providing accurate information. Remind them that it's okay not to feel okay all the time. Allow them some control over how they honour their loved one's memory. You can further support them by creating routines in order for them to feel safe and secure; provide extra hugs and reassurance. Provide them opportunities to ask questions rather than make assumptions about how your child feels. Also above all else please remind your child that you love them unconditionally no matter what!?

Conclusion:?

No one should ever have to go through grief alone. This includes children who have experienced the death of a beloved family member or friend. While it may be tempting to think that children “get over” things quickly because of their age, the truth is that grief affects them too. It's essential that we create an open dialogue around childhood bereavement so we can better understand how best to support our children during such difficult times. Doing so will ensure that children receive both the kindness and understanding they need during such trying times in their lives.

If you need support and guidance yourself, our guest on the Let's Talk About Grief with Anne Podcast, Michele Benyo MEd, CGRS can certainly help you understand how to care for yourself and support your child. Good Grief Parenting