The True Meaning of Duality

There are many times I find myself wondering about existence and the meaning of life.

Although I work in a corporate bank, spend most of my time with professional people and work closely with local entrepreneurs and business owners, I cannot seem to escape the simple truths of my thoughts.

Since I was a child, I was always different. For me, however, it was absolutely normal. Since I could remember, I was always a curious being, asking questions, testing theories and conducting experiments purely to see the outcome. I have been a thinker and investigator my whole life, searching for the depth to simple questions, theories and thoughts.

As I have grown older, this hasn't seemed to change. I yearn to learn, understand and grow in any form or context. Through my search for knowledge and wisdom, I have naturally walked down the path of deep understanding, awareness and consciousness.

Do not mistaken this for perfection, as it is far from the easiest path to walk.

Over the years of unlearning, unwinding and relearning, I have discovered that I was always destined for this journey. The more I run away, the faster it catches up to me. The more I chase it, the further it is to grasp. Simply put, it is about presence, or the present. Finding the duality amongst the chaos and being able to find yourself grounded emotionally, physically and mentally in every moment of life.

I have learnt that life can be completely simplified.

However, it requires an extensive level of understanding of thyself, others and thy path.

Naturally, through our travels, we attract and repel things, beings and obstacles that we always knew were meant to find us. These elements are here, at a given time, to teach us and allow us to grow and develop.

See, if we look at life like a circle, we can assume that life continues to flow naturally around and around, day-by-day.

Now imagine that circle with a break along the path. We are now unable to flow naturally because the circle is incomplete.

Think of this analogy in a project context.

We all wake up and we run through the list of objectives we need to complete to feel as though we have added value to our day and our lives.

Let's assume the check list is a conglomerate of circles, like the one above. Let's also pick one of these circles that represents a daily objective. This circle, in my case, could represent the objective of reading 10 pages of a book every single day.

Let's say that by the end of the day, I have only managed to read 8 pages. Now, in the context of the circle, I have created a break. But in this case, and in most of our cases, I would come up with a reason to satisfy the lack of achieving my daily objective.

This reasoning forms a bridge, allowing the circle to flow into the next cycle.

In the short term, I have bridged the gap. But realistically, I have lied to myself and eventually the break in the circle will appear once again.

When that day comes, I will face the same problem I have continued to face until I stop lying to myself and accepting the excuse I keep on telling myself.

In the context of the circle, I use the term "loop" and in the context of life, I use the term "projects."

See, this journey called life is merely a set of loops and one large project made up of smaller, manageable projects.

Since we were children and had enough self awareness to understand and contextualise situations, we began the cycle of loops and projects in our lives.

For example, let's assume I am a young boy who is shopping with his parents.

This young version of myself sees a toy in the shop and instantly falls in love with it.

The young boy begs his parents to get him the toy.

His parents refuse his requests and in a moment of rage the young boy has a tantrum.

In this moment, his parents seeing his pain and anguish, decide that he may indeed have the toy and in this exact moment the young boy passes from anger and moves swiftly into happiness and joy.

Although unaware of the damage caused, the boy continues with his life.

However, along the journey, the analogy of the toy "project" appears in different forms.

See, after the incident with the toy, the young boy associated the "tantrum" with receiving, which was then associated with the emotions of happiness and joy.

In one moment, the rest of his life was defined.

His entire life has been moulded on this exact belief.

The young boy grows up believing that when he has a tantrum, he shall be rewarded with a toy.

In the context of the adult, when this young man gets aggressive and sends an email to his boss demanding a salary increase, he believes that action is immediately responded with the reaction of receiving a salary increase.

This is simply cause and affect.

See the young man is neither wrong or right.

In his mind, he has created a foundation of understanding, that defines his characteristics and supports the belief structure that associates his behaviour with accordingly.

For the young boy, now an adult, he has fallen into an unhealthy loop. His entire life has been formed on this one single incident, in which he believes the answer for anything is to become aggressive and he shall receive.

He starts working and fights with his boss.

He gets into a relationship and becomes angry with his partner.

He doesn't like losing and gets aggressive with his friends.

At this point, the young man is still unaware of his unhealthy actions and continues life has he believes is right.

Sooner or later, after years of destruction, the young man finds himself reflecting back on all the experiences he has had in his life and why he always chose to be aggressive as his natural response.

The young man begins to see his behaviour is affecting multiple areas of his life.

He sits and thinks deeply for minutes, which soon become hours, and begins to realise that his behaviour is a bi-product of the childhood experiences he faced; the little boy and the toy representing only one experience.

He soon realises that the years and years he believed he was right, was the lie he kept telling himself to satisfy his own behaviour.

Life had been looping back in different forms and projects, all to end up at exactly this moment.

The moment of realisation.

The young man, experiencing unlearning, unwinding and relearning gave himself the opportunity to accept his mistakes, his flaws and his beliefs and to give himself the opportunity to create a whole new identity that aligned with who he really was.

See, this young man realised his unhealthy ways and soon became aware that his natural response to situations was toxic and aggressive.

The young man changed his mindset and began to listen and understand, instead of attacking those around him.

Sooner or later, after learning and facing the duality of life, he began to see the profound effects.

He soon became good friends with his boss and eventually got the salary increase he believed he deserved.

He found a partner and is in a healthy and happy relationship of understanding and compassion.

Him and his friends have now become stronger, even with the competitiveness.

See, since he was a child, this young man created the perception that his actions were always right, especially when he was rewarded for these negative actions. It was only through years and years of these looping cycles and multiple projects, in the form of his boss, his girlfriend and his friends, that he began to see life for what it really was.

In this story, is the symbolism of duality. The battle between right and wrong and the battle between what we think is right and wrong.

There are always three sides to a story; the perception of truth by two parties and the actual truth.

It is critical in knowing what this all means and in simple terms, life can be defined as "the importance of understanding where we are in order to grasp where we’re ultimately trying to go."

Without understanding the darkness of ourselves, our lives, our habits, our experiences and our behaviour, we, as human beings, will never be able to accept duality in its holistic context.

Duality encourages the darkness of life; fear, anxiety and sadness, immersed into the lightness of life; compassion, love and happiness.

Without duality, we can never grow through these loops and projects.

Simply put, life is one project, made up of an exponential amount of small projects.

Duality means two.

When the mind has two paths, two ways, two alternatives for everything, it’s been called the duality of mind. Now, unless the mind understands that, it will always go its own way, whatever little it understands about life and out of its experience.

Whenever you face any situation, events or experiences in life, your mind looks at the personality.

Now, if your personality already had the experience in the past, it will pick only a few experiences, good or bad from the past, and the mind, out of its thought process, will create different paths for you.

From this point, the confusion with life arises.

At any moment of life, you can choose or pick any path, but when you have several paths to choose from, and you don’t know the process of life, you only pick the one, where you are most comfortable, or that which you have experienced in the past and have a sense of comfort.

On the other hand, if you are in a situation which you haven’t experienced in the past, you make sure to avoid any situation, in this context, and never think to move into it.

Even if you do move on, you only go with fear, and in reality, what comes out of fear?

With fear, you create a fearful experience, and soon realise what happens if you come across the same experience in the future.

When you reach to a constant state or the state that you experience after realisation, you experience every situation of your life for the first time, and you don’t simply act on the situation, but you see the past, present, and future of the situation and then make your choice and decision in the moment.

Self-realisation is a state of mind, where all the dualities of mind end.

The positive and negative thoughts co-incise into one.

Just like electricity, you have positive and negative magnetism, flowing through your body, and when you realise both threads exist and aim to reach to its source, you realise the powerhouse is within you.

Our mind can produce multiple paths, out of a single situation. But if you connect within you, and find consistency, you can figure out the path that best suits the present situation, and you can walk on this path, until the very end.

...in divinity opposites are always reconciled.

If you have found this article interesting thus far, you may also like to read a few other articles of mine:

How I Created a Test to Further Enhance My Mind and Focus (pt.1)

Cognitive Biases that are Warping Our Perception of Reality

Emotional Intelligence, The 4th Industrial Revolution (4IR) & Technical Assimilation

How to Operate in a World of Resistance & Obstacles

How To Be Fearless in Your Pursuit to Find Your Hustle

Mind Shift