The Child Parent Relationship

To every parent their children are the biggest treasure they own. And this thought itself is the root of all the problems in a parent child relationship.?

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When we become the owner of something, we become possessive. We want to keep the thing clean, keep it tidy, we want to keep the thing the way we feel would be the best way of keeping the thing. But the difference between a living and a non living thing is intelligence and emotion. The moment we want to own the child, we are invading into the intelligence and the emotions of the child, thus creating problems in the relationship.??

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What happens when we start believing that "Our child is the greatest treasure we own"?

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1) We want to control every action of the child which causes resistance in the child.

2) We want the child to behave in the way we feel is right, thus muddling up the child's natural behaviour.?

3) We want the child to think the way we want, thus resulting in a confused behaviour of the child.

4) We want the child to take up such higher studies which we think would be right, thus may be pushing him to do which he doesn't like.

5) We want the child to eat what we think is nutritious and often end up seeing the child eating more junk food whenever he gets a chance.?

6) We want the child to be less attracted to mobile games and social media, and for this we may take strict actions which will further result in the child's dislike towards the parents.

7) We are upset when our child gets married to someone whom we don’t like. For this in many cases the child parent relationship has been strained for life.

8) We want our child to take care of us when we grow old, thus resulting in becoming a burden to our child.

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And all this stems out of the fact that our child is the biggest treasure we own.

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On the contrary,?if the thought is "God has gifted us a child so that we can give love and our guidance to help him to grow in life." Then the thought process changes from?

1) My treasure - to God’s gift.

2) I own - to give love.

3) I control - to I guide.

4) I have expectations - to being a guide to help growth.

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If this possessive mindset of the parents can change, then automatically the expectations of the parents dissolve and the relationship is based on love, guidance and gratitude which results in a happy parent child relationship.

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This is the advise on parent child relationship given by the famous motivational speaker and storyteller Indrajyoti Sengupta.