Child, Parent, and Adult-Transactional Analysis

Child, Parent, and Adult-Transactional Analysis

By Jimmy Petruzzi

A central concept in Transactional Analysis (TA) has been derived from Freud’s conception of the human psyche. He believed that that the majority of what we experience in our lives, the underlying emotions, beliefs, feelings, and impulses are not available to us at a conscious level. Freud defined three elements of personality that underlie and create complex behaviors, namely the id, ego, and superego. The id aspect is entirely unconscious and includes instinctive and primitive behaviors that is driven by the need for immediate gratification of all desires, wants, and needs. The ego functions in the conscious and unconscious mind and is the component of personality that is responsible for dealing with reality. As such, the ego accepts delayed gratification. The superego is the aspect of personality that holds all of our internalized moral standards and ideals and encompasses a sense of right and wrong and guidelines for making judgments.

Where Freud titled the three ego states id, ego, and superego, Eric Berne, using Freud’s ideas as a basis, redefined them as the Parent, Adult and Child ego states. The three ego states are applied as a functional model in Transactional Analysis (TA), which explores how we use the ego states to relate to others and ourselves. Each ego state is associated with a distinct state of mind that has related patterns of verbal and nonverbal behavior. The Parent state is defined as being “a set of feelings, attitudes, and behavior patterns, which resemble those of a parental figure” (Berne, 1961, p. 75). The child will either develop a personality that directly represents the behavior that they perceive his or her parents to have exhibited—Do as I Do—or in a way that their parents expected them to respond—Do as I Say. Berne further states that the Adult is “characterized by an autonomous set of feelings, attitudes, and behavior patterns, which are adapted to the current reality” (p. 76). The Parent ego state can be divided into two functions. The first is the Nurturing Parent, which is soft, loving, and accommodating. It is also generous, helpful, and sympathetic, but tends to create dependence and weak boundaries, is sensitive and irritable, and takes on too many problems of others, and is thereby prone to vicarious stress. The second Parent ego state is the Critical or Controlling Parent. This part of the personality contains the prejudiced and critical thoughts that we have learned from our parents. It takes quick decisions, maintains high standards, and assumes responsibility. However, on the negative side, it tends to suppress initiative and spontaneity, is intolerant and accusing, strict, reprimanding, and prone to anger and aggression.

The Adult ego state is rational and reasoned. Here, things are planned, facts checked, and questions asked to make the most appropriate decisions for the situation. As such, it is the area of logic, consideration, objective examination, decision-making, and responsibility. Conflicts and confrontations are solved in a balanced and sober way. However, the Adult ego may come across as unemotional, superficial, dull, and boring at times. The Adult state is considered as the most stable and positive of the three ego states. As such, objectives in personal development, coaching, counseling, or therapy are often modeled on the traits and behavior of the Adult ego state.

The Child ego state is part of our personality that holds the emotions, thoughts, feelings, and memories that are associated with childhood. As such, it identifies with immature, distorted, and impulsive views of a situation and can prevent the Adult state from engaging objectively and accurately with reality. Like with the Parent state, the Child state is also divided into two functions, namely the Free Child and Adapted Child ego states. The Free Child ego state is the core of spontaneous feelings and behavior. It experiences the world in an unfettered and immediate way. The Free Child state is playful, expressive, enthusiastic, and creative. It derives pleasure impulsively and easily, but it is also reckless and inconsiderate. The Adapted Child is a part of the personality that has learned to comply with demands and expectations, but when it can be compromising, considerate, and modest, it can also be scared, reserved, and hesitant. It avoids conflict and criticism, but can also become rebellious if pushed too far.

As we have seen, the ego states make up our personalities in different combinations. No ego state is only positive or only negative, and the main. These characteristics determine our view of ourselves, others, and the word, and guide our responses accordingly in terms of thoughts, feelings, and behavior. An understanding of ego states can help ourselves and help us to help others engage more positively with our environment. It makes us more aware of opportunities to change and grow. Personality is relatively stable, so change will not necessarily come quickly or easily, but it is possible with practice. Transactional analysis can make this possible.

It suffices to be aware of the main ego states and their influence on feelings and behavior. It is by recognizing our own and others’ ego states at any time in an interaction that we are best equipped and able to respond appropriately and positively. As Wagner (1981) reminded us:

“You are six different people, and so am I. You have six different personalities, and so do your subordinates, your customers, your boss, your spouse and your children. Right now you are operating within one of those personalities, and at any moment you may activate another one instead.” (p. 1).

References:

Berne, E. (1961). Transactional analysis in psychotherapy: A systematic individual and social psychology. New York, NY: Grove Press. DOI: 10.1037/11495-000

Wagner, A. (1981). The transactional manager: How to solve people problems with transactional analysis. Sydney, Australia: Prentice Hall.