“CHILD LIKE”

“Children bring up parents too, not just the other way”- Capt. Shoukat Mukherjee

When was the last time you were called childish? For kids, being called childish can be a normal phenomenon. Parents admonish children by saying ‘don’t be childish’. Every time there is an irrational behaviour from the child or an undulant demand of a rare toy, the elders get into these sort of mind frames and say to the kids, “C’mon kid, you’re a grown up now, so don’t behave like a child anymore.” But take a look at these, - Imperialism and colonization and World Wars and maybe the political figures in Indian politics (I hate to even name some of them) – Who’s responsible? ADULTS!

The traits that the words ‘childish’ addresses are seen so often in adults that we should abolish this discriminatory word when it comes to criticizing behaviour associated with irresponsibility and irrational thinking. Then again, it goes to say that certain types of irrational thinking are exactly what the world needs. Kids can be full of aspirations and hopeful thinking. Kids often think of Utopia. Their ways take you to paradise. They shoot straight and are not filled with rugged misinterpreted behaviour guided by misguided missiles of disharmony that is so evident with us adults. Kids have paved ways, they go through charted waters and even while the going gets really rough, they have other things to do than getting stressed with the myriads of normal life. Some of them do get stressed though, and as it is equated in today’s world the stress in children of today are more to do with handling adults rather than their own lives.

How many of you dream like kids and believe in the possibilities that they invest upon? Sometimes the knowledge of history and the past failures of utopian ideals can be a real burden because you know that if everything were free then the food stocks would deplete and deprivation would lead to chaos. On the other hand, children dream of perfection. And that’s great because in order to make anything a reality, you have to dream.

Kids already have action packed days and weeks learning from adults. What adults need is to chalk out time to learn from kids. Think of this scene. A student standing in front of the class and taking a lecture for the teachers. Isn’t it interesting? Learning should be reciprocal. Otherwise it gets muted into a one way traffic running onto a blank wall. The reality unfortunately is a little different and has a lot to do with trust- or the genuine lack of it. If you don’t trust someone, you place restrictions on them right? So you have webcams fitted in your home to try and see what the maids are doing while you are in office? Or you doubt your driver to pay back the loan which you gave him and make him sign a promissory document of sorts to ensure he works with you for the remaining part of the year free in case he fails to pay up? Adults seems to have a prevalently restrictive attitude towards saying ‘don’t do that, ‘don’t do this’, ‘don’t end up this way’, and surely ‘I don’t want to see you doing that’. How many parents today put restrictions on their children for internet use? Do you? As history points out, regimes become oppressive as they become fearful about keeping control and although adults may not be quite at the level of totalitarian regimes, kids have no or very little say in making the rules when clearly the attitude should be reciprocal, meaning that the adult population should not only learn from the younger population but also take their wishes into account.

What’s even worse than restriction is that adults underestimate the abilities of kids. I remember a few days back when we bought a new TV and the mechanic came to install the TV at my home, I was absolutely lost at the new age TV demo which the technician launched himself into. My 11 yrs. old son came to my rescue and it seemed he understood the language well, some alien technological dialect which was taken up by my son instantly. Kids love challenges but when expectations are low they would deliver their best. It is very difficult for the parents to have low expectations of their children. My father for example, had NO expectations whatsoever. He didn’t expect us to become doctors and engineers or IAS officers. He didn’t even expect us to even look after him when he aged. But that was HIS greatness. What he expected for us was to know the stories of ‘Mahabharata’ and the ‘Ramayana’ and the ‘Upanishads’ and for that he did his bit, got us up each morning and read a page to us from the books. My parents were supportive in a very rare way. They hardly ever told us NOT to do something. So we played marbles in the streets and we flew kites and got wet in the rains and fought with street children. At one point I got bashed up a bit and came back home and my father didn’t tell me not to go back to that locality. I am thus grateful to Dad for his ways of supporting me by not coming in my way of growing up.

I remember when I first came to Mumbai and my son got lined up for his first advertising vocal audition, it was a great success. Inspired by this, I started calling up other agencies and vendors in pursuit of some more creative work for my son. There was this agency who answered my call one day and he said ‘I am sorry, we don’t work with children’. Those words ring a bell every now and then,- now what kind of person would say such a thing, ‘I don’t work with children?!! (I couldn’t resist an extra exclamation mark here, though it may be a grammatical exploration)

However, there is a problem with this rosy picture which I am painting about kids being better than adults and that sort of thing – the problem is that the same kinds grow up and become adults just like the rest of us. The way progress happens that the new generation grows and become better adults than the previous generations – is this happening now, ask yourself as this may be a debatable idea.

Today I formed a Whatsapp group of my school batch mates. We went back decades when we were at school. Instances and moments and stories were shared between long-time friends who have moved on with their lives and are presently staying at far corners of the world. Some felt overjoyed while others lamented that no one kept in touch. In the midst of all the conversation a friend said, ‘How we miss those days of school’, and I thought to myself, I have never ever missed school. I tried to find the answer within myself, is it because I went out to sea too early that I didn’t get enough of school and college, or is it because I feel too distantly from my school buddies? Definitely No. It took me a while to come to the right answer and the reason being that I have never let the child in me die. I never feel bad when someone tells me ‘Don’t be childish’. When I return from office, I spend 10 minutes with the children playing football in the community lobby. Each week, at least one day I get the wonderful opportunity to visit the YMCA in my area and spend few moments playing with children of my son’s age and less. It’s a miracle what they create in me. They have slowed my ageing, they give me new ideas each day and I create beautiful images in my mind of all the things I wish to do in the world. I never ever tire of thinking and dreaming. Try this and you shall see what effect it has on you. Spend some moments each day with a group of children, maybe your own children’s friends or whoever you meet. Behave as a kid and relive the moments of your youth; let people tell you that you are childish. Clone yourself with your childhood and bring in the future with them.

The world needs opportunities for new leaders and new ideas. Kids need opportunities to lead and to succeed. Are you ready to make the match?

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Capt. Shoukat Mukherjee is an international award winning global trainer, public speaker and Leadership exponent. He is the author of the best-selling book ‘Mind Over Water’, a treatise into Leadership Development and Team Building.

You can connect with Shoukat at:

Email: ‘[email protected]

Twitter: @shoukat1971

Fb: @shoukatsmindoverwater