Child Custody Devotional - Identify and Develop Individual Skills in Co-Parenting...

I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding. Daniel 9:22

In #ChildCustody and #CoParenting, I think we give short shrift to ‘skill’ as parents. We oversimplify it to ourselves, in our own heads and hearts. More importantly, the Courts oversimplify it. Less importantly, the Other Side oversimplifies it. None of us are merely good or bad parents. Being effective as a Parent and Co-Parent reflects an incredibly diverse set of skills, any combination of which can make for your unique parenting style.

When we think of #Parenting and #CoParenting as the application and development of certain skills, our performance, plans and strategies become more intellectually tangible and readily understandable. Being punctual is a skill, for example, which is utterly valuable in high conflict CoParenting. Identifying, and perhaps isolating, certain skills can help reduce the emotional toll or fear that facing CoParenting challenges can present. Id est, “this week I’m going to focus on being punctual, not just with the Other Side but with school, work and my other activities.” Then, grade yourself on that one skill for the week and review opportunities for improvement. That actually means something because it’s measurable. “Being a better CoParent this week” sounds like some vague shtuff the Other Side might say that doesn’t really mean anything practical. It’s coded language for bullying, manipulation, control and basically just whatever the Other Side wants you to do.

So, what individual skills come into play in CoParenting? No kidding, what comes to mind? Whatever you come up with, make sure it’s specific enough to clearly define and measure. We can’t ever walk into Court and say we’re a perfect parent; we can always say we’re considering specific areas and skills as a parent which we’re working to improve.