Chief Kindness Officer Habit #6: Ask More Than Tell!

"Season of Kindness: The ROI of Creating a Kindness-Centric Organization" – Article 12 in a 13 part series. Previous articles can be found here.

CKOs are master askers! This may seem to go against the grain of our typical conditioned view that we go to leaders for answers. But here is a truly liberating truth: The quality of our teams will be determined by the quality of the questions we ask one another. CKOs who ask more than tell ignite leadership qualities and respect in everyone they touch.

As more and more Millenials, GenXers and GenZers fill organizations, a crucial challenge and opportunity is finding the secrets to engage, ignite, and inspire this new workforce. More than ever, it is QUESTIONS rather than answers that can unlock the remarkable potential of this talented generation. It is by learning the fresh skill of becoming a “Master Asker” that you will light up your team with newfound energy, commitment, loyalty, and collaboration! Asking rather than telling is sometimes the ultimate expression of kindness and respect because it is a powerful demonstration of your belief in others.

When we ask questions, we spark creative thought and stimulate discovery. We help others think for themselves. Over time, those we ask rather than tell develop far greater insight and understanding which in turn allows their vision to expand. By asking more than telling, we also breathe faith into others’ hearts, which helps them take responsibility for their decisions and actions.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t times to give answers. It simply means that as a CKO you want to help others become self-starters who think for themselves and act with confidence and kindness.

A simple strategy for getting started on the path toward becoming a master asker is to discipline yourself to respond first with a question when people come to you for advice and answers. Instead of firing off suggestions they should take to tackle their problems, first ask, “What do you think would be the best way to handle this?” Instantly you’ve let them know you truly value their ideas, and you’ve given them the chance to help themselves. Though initially they may feel somewhat uncomfortable or even disappointed that you didn’t give them an answer, over time, the growing sense of personal responsibility you will foster with this strategy will help them strengthen their spirits, solution-orientation, and confidence.

As a CKO, when you ask for a response from someone, it is critical that you really listen. The secret is to listen for their answers, not yours. How many times do we ask questions trying to squeeze out the answer we want? By opening yourself to really listen, you have a much greater chance to learn. When you ask others for their ideas, be eager to hear approaches and viewpoints that have never occurred to you before. And welcome those fresh perspectives with genuine enthusiasm, because they have the greatest potential to create positive change in your life.

This is article 12 in my series "The Season of Kindness: The ROI of Creating a Kind-Centric Organization." Stay tuned as I release a new articles filled with simple steps to improve your company's culture.