Chief Kindness Officer Habit #4: Live with Gratitude!

"Season of Kindness: The ROI of Creating a Kindness-Centric Organization" – Article 10 in a 13 part series. Previous articles can be found here.

The emotion with the highest frequency and vibration is gratitude. When you come from a place of gratitude, it is absolutely natural and automatic to be kind, to catch others doing things right and to recognize and appreciate them. You become a “World-class Buddy-Thanker” who lifts others’ spirits and helps them to believe in themselves.

But let me ask an important question. Who are the people in our lives who we tend to forget the thank the most? For many, the answer to this question serves as a powerful wake-up call. So often the people we forget to thank the most are the very people who mean the most to us, our family, closest friends, and most important colleagues. We seem to easily fall into the habit of taking these special people in our lives for granted. And, if we’re not careful, the spark, joy, kindness, and fun of these most important relationships can begin to fade.

QUESTION: How do you reverse this downward spiral and keep your relationships filled with color and energy? 

THE ANSWER is found in an important CKO strategy: the principle of exaggeration. A simple example will make this principle crystal clear.

In my first career as a United States Swimming coach, a common flaw that many of my swimmers needed to overcome in the freestyle (crawl) stroke was the habit of not pulling far enough under the center of their body where they had the greatest leverage, power, and balance. But, when I attempted to correct swimmers who had developed a wide arm pull by saying: “Pull down the centerline of your body,” guess what they said to me in response?

Looking at me as if I needed a strong pair of glasses, they’d reply in total exasperation, “I AM!” They genuinely thought they were pulling properly.

That meant that it did absolutely no good to tell them to pull down the center. Instead, I had to apply the principle of exaggeration. I instructed them to pull as far across their body underwater as they could so the right-hand swept way left under their body, and their left-hand crossed way over to the right. 

As soon as they attempted to follow these instructions, guess where they pulled? ZAP! Their stroke now came right down the centerline of their body!

As they exaggerated in this way, how do you think it felt at first? It was strange and uncomfortable. But the more they stayed with it, the more natural and automatic the motion became. Soon they settled into the new and better habit.

Taking those we love and care about for granted and allowing kindness to fade is nothing more than a habit. CKOs can apply the principle of exaggeration to invigorate relationships by becoming World-Class Buddy-Thankers just as my swimmers did to transform their strokes.

Writing personal cards to friends, family, and teammates expressing your gratitude for who they are and what they do, even when it’s not their birthday or anniversary is a surprising and impactful strategy CKOs use to deliver kindness. Email, voice mail, text, and social media are fantastic vehicles to share kind thoughts and compliments. Creating simple unexpected moments of appreciation for others can change the entire trajectory of their lives.

As a CKO and World-Class Buddy-Thanker, you provide great energy and kindness to teammates, customers, and vendors. In all the studies undertaken to examine the effects of recognition and acknowledgement in organizations, not one has been found to have too much! As a CKO ask yourself every single morning when you awaken, “What am I truly grateful for in my life today?” Instantly you’ll remember an important truth that will humble you, inspire you, and fill you with a kind spirit. As the great Olympic champion Wilma Rudolph expressed so perfectly,

“No matter what great things you accomplish, somebody always helps you.”  

This is article 10 in my series "The Season of Kindness: The ROI of Creating a Kind-Centric Organization." Stay tuned as I release a new articles filled with simple steps to improve your company's culture.