The Chief Factor: Three Principles to Guide Your Networking (Plus a Bonus Framework)

A great photographer once tipped me off that fake smiles look natural to the camera, and I like that analogy here: Fake it until networking feels natural.

Most people in my sphere are thinking about their next chapter in life, whether that's a new job, a new startup, closing one down, or trying to level up their career, and our conversations inevitably lead to the importance of networking. I'm pretty good at it, and more than a few folks have asked for my tips.

Let me start by saying my motto has been "Give, give, give, ask" for a few years now. I adopted this from Gary Vaynerchuk. If you follow him, you can see that he exemplifies this mindset. It launched his career, and that's the approach I use in life. However, as a helper by nature, it's not instinctual for me to ask for help. Yet I recently realized my motto is how I "hack" my way to receiving support from others. Eventually, what I freely give comes back to me. Similarly, I highly recommend reading the short but powerful book The Go-Giver. And a shoutout to the #StartUpExperts community!

The world is NOT a meritocracy

Sorry. ?? Unfortunately, getting where we want through skill and hard work alone is a myth. Relationships are key—it's all about who you know, especially for trust-heavy roles like Executive Operations (EA, Chief of Staff, BizOps), Startup Operations, and investing (VC, PE, Family Offices, etc.).

I'm here to help you build relationships and a legendary, supportive community around you. Here are my three guiding principles for demystifying networking:

Principle #1 – Building & Maintaining a Network IS WORK

If you commit to something (introductions, review a résumé, or send them more information), follow through immediately. Not only is it top-of-mind so you won't forget, but it sends a strong message that you're proactive and helpful. Schedule meetings for 25 minutes (or 50 minutes) so that you can do the follow-up tasks in the last 5 (or 10) minutes before moving to your next task. #Go-Giver

Tricks for making it less tedious:

• Use Calendly—Even the freemium version will suffice! Be sure to create a fun meeting intro. (Here's mine.)
• Go back to successful correspondence and see if you can templatize it for future use. This applies to emails, LinkedIn messaging, Slack, and more.
• Settings > Keyboard > Text Replacements. When I type "@par," my email populates; "/signa" pastes in my full signature; "@cal" is my Calendly link; and "/lite" pastes an elevator pitch. Imagine the possibilities! Go nuts here. Trust me, it'll be one of those life-changing hacks you'll always and forever use. For my PC friends, check out ActiveWords. You will never look back.

Principle #2 – Respect People's Time

Research your connections beforehand and go into the meeting with the top three specifics you'd like to know- if the conversation doesn't flow there naturally.

Only go over time if they agree, and keep it minimal.

Speaking of respect and intros, I mostly do double opt-in intros now. If you institute this as well, be sure to let folks know that. To help double opt-in intros move faster, having a "forwardable blurb" is very helpful. It takes the workload off the person doing you a favor! Three to five sentences written in the third person is all you need. Be sure to send that immediately.

Remove all barriers to someone helping you.

It's okay if you don't have anything to offer in return–because you actually do: the opportunity to let someone help you. Remember, we are social creatures. We need others—don't rob folks of their chance to help you. You may feel like saying, "So, how can I help you?" But please don't. Don't diminish their wonderful offering of their time and energy. Don't make it weird.

Always end the meeting with "Who else should I talk to?" And, of course, a heartfelt thank you.

Principle #3 – Follow-Up Matters

It would be wise to set aside part of your post-meeting time to take down your thoughts/observations, send thank yous, and schedule a time to reconnect.

Are they awesome? Consider setting a reminder to email them in a few weeks. Were they great to meet, but only a little action on either end? Set a quarterly reminder to check in or invite them to your next social, webinar, or networking event. If you see a news article that might interest them, send it. You get the idea.

(Do you use a personal CRM? If so, let me know in the comments!)

Where do I meet people?

Personally, I am plugged into the startup and veteran ecosystems locally and online. To find events, I get on the email lists of accelerators and incubators, startup groups, VCs, angel investing groups, local tech news coverage (Geekwire, for example), UW's Buerk Center for Entrepreneurship, Slack communities for various interests like veteran and women entrepreneurs, and more. I attend a mix of IRL and virtual events.

For virtual events like webinars, I write down the names of folks who ask helpful questions, make useful comments, or provide value in the chat. I take a screenshot for LinkedIn research and connecting. Sometimes, just the act of looking at someone's profile can spur a connection request. ??

But How Do I Ask for the Meeting?

Ahh, great question!

BONUS: Use a tactic from customer discovery and the book The Mom Test by Rob Fitzpatrick –A five-part framework to nail it every time.

Vision-Framing-Weakness-Pedestal-Ask

Why this framework? Without it, you risk coming across like you're going to waste their time.

Why does it work? We like to help others! We also like to talk about ourselves! But we also value our time and attention... Here's how to nail it every time:

1. VISION—Clearly state who you are and what you're trying to do: I'm an aspiring Chief of Staff looking to stay in the startup ecosystem or a new grad with a Master's in sustainability trying to get into CleanTech.
2. FRAMING—I'm just starting my job search; I just moved to the city; we attended the same webinar; we share some fantastic mutual connections. My advice is to be very clear that you are not here to solicit them for a job- and be sincere about that! People are more eager to help you once they know and like you.
3. WEAKNESS—I have difficulty telling my story; I'm new to this position or industry; I just got out of the military and am researching roles and companies. I really want a job in corporate innovation, but I don't know where to start. Give them a chance to help you.
4. PEDESTAL—You've been in this industry for some time, and you could gut-check my career path. Anne Marie Ota?ez said you're an outstanding Chief of Staff, and I'd love to learn what 'influencing without authority' means to you. Show why they can help you specifically.
5. ASK—Do you have time in the coming weeks to chat??This doesn't say how long, when, or where. It's short and vague enough not to sound pushy or desperate, which is kind of perfect.

I use this extensively via email, Slack, phone, or in person and have a ~95% success rate. I've replaced networking stress with networking structure. DM me if you want some of my examples or to practice. Or, if you love startups, buy The Mom Test!

It's not over when you ___________ (get a job, create a network, etc.)

Now that you've succeeded, you must continue the work and actively maintain these relationships. Find an authentic rhythm of giving and receiving within your communities that works with your schedule.

I know networking can be?uncomfortable, but so is your larger situation–turn toward it, put one foot in front of the other, and pay it back when you can.

You got this!