Chicken Soup for the Account Executive’s Soul

After working in technology and advertising for more than 15 years as an Account Director, Digital Director and Principal/CEO, I’ve had the joy (and sometimes terror) of being on the frontline with countless clients from start-ups to SMBs and non-profits to Fortune 500s. I’ve learned firsthand how incredibly rewarding it is to corral people and projects together and create results for clients you care about. And I know it's rewarding in part because it’s so fraught with challenges. 

It’s usually the AEs and ADs that bear the full force of the dark side of this business (and note that for simplicity's sake, "AE" is equivalent in this article to anyone in the Account dept, from Coordinators and Executives to Directors and VPs). Think about it: why is advertising notoriously so stressful? Hmm… off the top: managing expectations, hitting deadlines and always being ready to jump on a call to defend, convince, listen, and, well, you get the idea. Agencies by their nature are in a near constant state of appeasing, listening, presenting and politicking. Juggling people, projects and priorities. And who’s at the helm in many ways when it comes to the areas I just rattled off? The Account department. 

This isn’t hyperbole: I’ve witnessed grown men and women being called out and embarrassed by clients and crying in bathrooms, trying to hide the very real tears streaming down their very real faces.

The day-to-day life of an AE is a roller coaster of ups and downs and a constant battle to please not only your clients, but your various agency stakeholders who each care about different things (i.e., the creative, the strategy, the technology, the business). And all the while trying to balance being liked with bringing results (not always an easy feat). This isn’t hyperbole: I’ve witnessed grown men and women being called out and embarrassed by clients and crying in bathrooms, trying to hide the very real tears streaming down their very real faces.

She was called out and was used as a pawn and not a person. That’s wrong.

I’ll never forget one situation years back where we were giving a presentation to a well known brand. I was giving a digital presentation, but we first kicked off the meeting with some time to discuss more generally how things were progressing on the various pieces of their business. All of a sudden, and for no apparent reason, the client launches into a tirade (like stands up with spit starting to rain down on us). And it gets personal, stat. The AE, who I knew worked her tail off trying to meet this client’s nearly always impossible expectations and actually cared, was blindsided and devastated. I also knew she had to cancel her plans the night before because she was working so hard to prep for the meeting. I felt so bad for her! She was called out and was used as a pawn and not a person. That’s wrong. Needless to say, that client didn’t last long (they should have been fired immediately, but I wasn’t in charge at the time).

Making personal sacrifices for professional results can take its toll. Especially when you’re a go-to scapegoat or have a client that thinks negativity will inspire the most out of you.

If you considering a career in Account Management (or you’re already entrenched), know that the prevalence of stressed-out AEs is high. Prepare accordingly if you’re green and know that you’re not alone if you’re gray. Making personal sacrifices for professional results can take its toll. Especially when you’re a go-to scapegoat or have a client that thinks negativity will inspire the most out of you. On the other hand, the ability to deal with the very real challenges that come with this job can lead to some amazing accomplishments and incredibly rewarding relationships. 

If the above resonates with you, these three tips may help:

1. Stop Taking It Personally
   While you probably take your job personally, as you should, it’s critical to not take your clients or stakeholders personally when they lob criticism, doubt, fear, and sometimes even downright insults your way. In these moments, it feels like YOU are being attacked. So you get offensive, defensive, or, in many cases, simply quiet. Then you find a way to catch your breath, have a good cry (or talk), and move yourself forward. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky. It’s only a matter of time, because we are all human.
   
   My advice is simple: visualize yourself in a bubble. That bubble is your agency. Don’t take it personally, take it professionally. Your clients are emotional, unpredictable human beings and many times there are agendas and politics in play that you may not even know about. If you get a negative message, don’t freak out. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Don’t read into it. Don’t dwell. It’s not always about you! It’s your clients job to push you (and unfortunately some clients don’t understand that positivity will inspire more performance than negativity) so know that they’re only trying to do their job. If you’re working hard, doing the right things and acting with integrity, don’t lose sleep!
   
   Nothing is personal (unless you make it so). With so many moving parts in the agency environment, it’s next to impossible to truly have control as you’re ultimately reliant on other people. So stop fighting it and embrace it. Work hard at letting it go sometimes, not just pushing it forward.
2. Perpetually Seek Perspective
   Take off your shoes and put on their’s. Actually, it’s even more than that. You can’t just put on their “professional” dress shoes… you have to get into their Chucks! Ironically, while my first tip was to not take things personally when a client or stakeholder doesn’t treat you well, my second is basically the reverse when it comes to how you treat your clients and stakeholders. It’s about gaining personal perspective even though they may not do the same, so you can better understand where they’re coming from. This personal understanding is critical to bringing everyone together to do the best work possible in a professional context. So take the high road (and more effective one) by resisting the temptation to treat them like a client and work to understand their essence and personality in order to reach them on a human level.
   
   You may present work for review and get push back, but it’s critical to remember that it’s your client’s job to push back! By pushing back, they are contributing to the project in their own way, whether their input is right or wrong in your eyes. And they have stakeholders as well, like their bosses, staff, etc… Their identity and ego can be wrapped up in the project (just like your’s can be). Keep this in mind when they criticize your work and you feel personally attacked -- clients feel the same way. For all you know, you’ve hit a personal nerve, not a professional one and they are reacting emotionally for that reason. Anytime ego is involved, be aware and try to zoom-out and get the highest resolution possible.
   
   Your clients and your team just wants to look good and they’re often not afraid to project their fears, concerns and negativity on you as it makes them feel like they’re actively “solving a problem” without even realizing it’s hurting you. Plus, you're the AE, the safe zone. Separate objective feedback from the subjective and get a sense for the context around the communication. Don’t become jaded either, like the doctor who sees his patients as bodies, not people. That’s when malpractice lawsuits abound, for a reason. Always focus on the relationship first and the rest is much easier to handle.
3. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie…
   He’s going to want some milk (great book by the way, a childhood favorite of mine)! If the client learns the best way to get your attention is to disrupt and go the negative route, trust me, they’ll do it again.
   
   If they see you that you always answer e-mails within the hour and respond during evenings and weekends, that will be their expectation going forward, whether spoken or not.
   
   If they question a proposal or invoice and you immediately respond and concede, they’re going to wonder why they weren’t given that price in the first place (and ask themselves with every subsequent proposal if they need to question you on it).
   
   It’s very important to set the tone and foundation for your relationships (internally and externally) from the beginning, otherwise you might be setting yourself up to disappoint others without even realizing it! I’ve seen kind, open and gracious AEs that are simply amazing people who love what they do and whose goal is to please their clients simply get trampled on by a client, crushing their spirit in a second. And they have no idea why “they aren’t good enough” because the fact is: they are working hard and they aren’t jaded… they care. Believe it or not, the reason why is because some clients interpret these great qualities as a form of weakness and work to take advantage by projecting themselves through intimidation, guilt, etc., knowing they’re working with an emotional “people pleaser.” These AEs are usually loved by everyone in the agency (and Creatives love them especially), but struggle with being taken advantage of by clients.
   
   On the other hand, I’ve seen the exact opposite: AEs with shells so thick it would take a death for them to shed a tear. They’ve built too many walls and too many barriers of protection after years of getting beaten up to where they’ve lost some of their soul, some of their empathy. This group tends to be not-so-loved by everyone in the agency, because they are generally aggressive, short, and hard to work with (c'mon, you know who I'm talking about). What’s the solution? Balance! Striking the right tone between firm and flexible and understanding that “nice” isn’t a synonym for “giving in.”
   
   If you have an existing relationship that’s become toxic because of the expectations set in the beginning (maybe you weren't even around when they were set), don’t lose hope. You’re just going to need to be patient if you want to adjust and optimize your relationship, because you’re taking away a cookie and replacing it with a gluten free vegan brownie; slightly less tasty, but actually better for the client.

What do you think? Do you have any advice from your experience in Accounts?

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink; For you will heap burning coals on his head, And the LORD will reward you." -  Proverbs 25:21-22“

Written by Robby Berthume and published on January 13, 2016. Contact me by clicking here.