Chest On Fire - The Importance of Awareness
A few years ago, I was riding my mountain bike in the hills near my house. I was looking for a steep hill to climb (I’ve always been a masochist when it comes to workouts - for better or worse). After touring around, I found the perfect hill.
My focus narrowed and I remember telling myself, “It’s showtime!”
I started pedaling as fast as I could. After a quarter-mile, I could feel sweat pouring down my face, my legs were burning, and my lungs were on fire. In other words, it felt great!
However, after a few more minutes of joyful suffering, something changed. Instead of feeling like an indestructible machine, I felt depressed, anxious, and numb.
All I could think was, “What just happened??” I pulled over, got off my bike, and sat down.
My mind was racing, trying to figure out why I was suddenly depressed. I was just riding my bike! Unfortunately, trying to THINK through the situation wasn’t helping.
I decided to go deeper. I took a few breaths and got myself into an aligned, meditative state.
After about 60 seconds, the depression, anxiety, and numbness disappeared. But something else also disappeared. My lungs didn’t feel like they were on fire anymore. A minute of rest allowed me to catch my breath.
That was the moment I learned a valuable, life-changing lesson. It’s easy to mistake, or attribute, feelings and emotions to the wrong source. Having suffered from depression for many years, I would always interpret an uncomfortable sensation in my chest to mean I was feeling depressed.
I had programmed myself to think that there was only one way to interpret the feeling:
Discomfort In Chest = Depression
But what I realized on this particular bike ride is that there are different equations:
Equation 1: Discomfort In Chest CAN = Depression
Equation 2: Discomfort In Chest CAN = I’m Working Out Really Hard
Equation 3: Discomfort In Chest CAN = Heartburn
Equation 4: Discomfort In Chest CAN = Depression + I’m Working Out Really Hard + Heartburn
Feelings and emotions are nuanced. They’re rarely black and white. That’s what I didn’t understand. Most people create a single equation to understand each emotion they’re feeling. The problem is that looking through a black and white lens creates confusion and an emotional misalignment because you’re not seeing the full spectrum of emotional color.
If you can get to the point where you’re AWARE of the subtle differences and gradations in your feelings and emotions, your ability to navigate life increases exponentially. You stop jumping to conclusions, misreading the people around you, living in fear, etc.
I still have moments where I attribute a feeling to the wrong source. That’s human nature. The difference now is that instead of panicking, I’m able to quickly tune into the feeling and parse out what it’s telling me. Maybe I AM feeling depressed. That’s ok. Maybe I’m working out hard, my chest is burning, and it kind of feels like depression. That’s ok also.
Do you have a hard time with awareness and understanding the gradations in your feelings and emotions?
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PS - I help people build AWARENESS in their systems so they can live a more balanced and fulfilled life. If you’re interested in becoming a finely tuned feeling/emotion machine, shoot me a DM :-)
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