The Chemistry of Networking

I’m a serial face-to-face and social media networker. Over the years I’ve harnessed the power of networks to win business globally from people I’ve never ever met in person, gained a major publishing deal from Bloomsbury, the home of Harry Potter and interviewed some of the world’s greatest musicians and rock stars. To achieve things like this you need to be an excellent networker, both in the virtual world, where up to 93% of our senses are blurred through online communications, and when meeting people in the flesh. This happened quite literally just recently, as I met a business contact in the Sauna at Virgin Active’s Health Club. Of course we had no mobile phone or Linkedin profiles to hide behind and were therefore almost socially naked, figuratively and literally! Here I reveal all of what I’ve learned through 22 years of networking:

The Chemistry of Networking

Networking success can be reduced to a mathematical equation:

One easy way to think about the quality of your connections is via the idea of chemical bonds, if you can remember your chemistry lessons …

Simply knowing people is insufficient to build lasting business networks with them. You must like and trust them as well. However like does not mean being alike, nor does it just mean clicking the like button on Facebook …

What are your tips for moving from single to triple bonds?

In case you are wondering, I stumbled over the chemical bond idea in the shower, whilst trying to dream up an interactive networking session for Johnson and Johnson. The session was incredibly well received and gave me an excuse to buy one of those chemical bond making kits that I always wanted from childhood! 

Remote Control

One way to measure the effectiveness of your social media activity is the degree to which you can gain business from people you have never met. About 30% of my business comes from remote connections via social media these days. The speed of such connections make it even more important to ensure that you don’t bypass the need for a deep understanding of what people expect from you and all the other things that make for sustainable business collaboration. If someone is remotely serious about working with me via social media contact, the first thing I try to do is to meet them physically, on Skype or at least by phone, without which it is often impossible to build the psychological contract necessary for success. The takeaways from this are:

1. To move people from a “single bond to a triple bond” requires a much deeper engagement than is normally possible on social media.
2. Sometimes, the relationship must also be tested through good times and bad.

Royal blood 

I had the great pleasure of sharing a stage with eminent psychologist Professor Adrian Furnham in Athens a few years ago. We’ve kept in touch over a glass of wine ever since, trading stories about our work. Adrian has extensive experience of working as a business psychologist, including projects for Buckingham Palace.

It's not so easy to gain entry to some networks using Facebook and Twitter ... 

Over the years I’d delivered some business masterclasses for his MSc psychology students, which enabled me to show him a wider palette of my work and build on our social relationship. Four years later and completely unprompted, Adrian invited me to one of his book launches at Bloomsbury. Somewhat out of the blue, he ambushed the managing editor and told her firmly but politely that she needed to commission a book from me. The takeaways from this are:

1. Trust can take years to develop and it can come from the least expected places. 
2. Triple chemical bonds often need face to face networking over time rather than a “smash and grab” approach. Sometimes wine and wisdom also matters ...

Wine and wisdom from Professor Adrian Furnham - Photography by Christina Jansen www.cjansenphotography.com

Family values

I’ve had the unique pleasure of interviewing some of the greatest musicians and rock stars on the planet about parallel lessons from music for the business world, and delivered events with them in the Virgin Lounges. Even in the music world, where word of mouth counts for more that text or Twitter, networks play their part. One of my life goals was to interview the artist Prince. Through a range of trusted contacts, we managed to gain an interview with his spiritual godfather, George Clinton. From this we then interviewed Sheila E, Prince’s drummer. Sheila had already seen one of my books from when I gave a copy to Prince. This increased her confidence about giving us some time from her busy schedule. This led on to further interviews with Prince’s saxophone player Marcus Anderson. I feel sure we had built enough credibility with Prince’s extended family to be granted an interview with the man himself in time, but sadly he passed.

"We are family" - George Clinton, Robert Peston, Sheila E, Marcus Anderson

What are your tips for achieving aspirational networking goals ?

The way that word of mouth networks work means that we are currently discussing interviews with other Prince connections such as CeeLo Green and Mark Ronson. The takeaways from this are:

1. Some business sectors still operate on the “little black book” rather than “word of web”.
2. Trust builds up when lots of people say the same things about your abilities and value as a part of their network.
3. It’s a good idea to create value for others before asking for something in return. Virgin Atlantic veteran David Tait sums the point up nicely:

“Just two little words: we and they" 

Wins and Sins of Networking

Networking opportunity - Come Dine With Me

I am offering an exclusive series of evening dinner dates with Vicky Hamilton, former manager of Guns N' Roses, Poison and M?tley Crüe on the dates of our tour of Virgin Lounges in September: Glasgow : Tues Sept 13, Manchester : Wed Sept 14, Sheffield : Thu Sept 15, London : Fri Sept 16. As well as dinner, we'll conduct a masterminding session with someone who has managed and worked with such incendiary figures as Axl Rose and Tommy Lee. Come and experience the power of networking with Vicky and myself.

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Peter Cook leads Human Dynamics and The Academy of Rock. Check his latest book out at Bloomsbury.

Come network with us at our next public events coming up in Italy, Mauritius and Berlin, alongside our Virgin Lounge Guns N' Roses events in UK.