Chemical Diagrams

Chemical diagrams and models are useful for interpreting chemical structures. In this release, I will be explaining about chemical diagram interpretation.

1.??????? The simplest diagrams

1.1.? ?Covalent bonds (Note: a covalent bond is 1, 2 or 3? shared pairs of electrons. Single, double, and triple respectively)

1.1.1.? Single bond: -

1.1.2.? Double bond: =

1.1.3.? Triple bond: ≡

1.2.? ?Atoms (Note: they are placed between the bond symbols) (Note: only common atom symbols are shown here, and all atom symbols are simply the atomic symbol)

1.2.1.????? Carbon: C

1.2.2.????? Hydrogen: H

1.2.3.????? Oxygen: O

1.2.4.????? Nitrogen: N

1.2.5.????? Chlorine: Cl

1.2.6.????? Fluorine: F

1.2.7.????? Bromine: Br

1.2.8.????? Iodine: I

2.??????? Organic Chemistry or skeletal formulae

2.1.? The Differences

2.1.1.????? In organic chemistry, the carbon symbol is not shown, instead, it is just drawn with a bond

2.1.2.????? Hydrogen attached to carbon is not shown at all, not even the bond (Note: hydrogen attached to other atoms are still shown)

2.1.3.????? Functional groups are commonly condensed. Some are shown here (Note: R is the rest of the molecule)

2.1.3.1.?????????????? Methyl R-C-(H)(H)(H): R-CH3

2.1.3.2.?????????????? Hydroxide/Alcohol R-O-H: R-OH

2.1.3.3.?????????????? Carboxylic acid R-C(=O)(-O-H): R-COOH

2.2.? ?Stereochemistry (Note: stereochemistry is the field in which bond rotation is taken into account) (Note: flat side is considered relative to point for stereochemical bonds)

2.2.1.????? Forward wedge bond: an elongated solid triangle

2.2.2.????? Backward wedge bond: This is very specific to stereochemistry. It is almost impossible to find anywhere else. It is a dashed elongated triangle.

The above section is the unedited writings of my son.

Blueprint for Coaching

What is the blueprint of a good coaching session? Or at least, a halfway decent coaching session. ?? Like chemistry there is a pattern, a diagram we can follow.

To start with, the simplest things:

1.??????? Bonds

2.??????? Elements

Like chemistry, everything depends on the bond. Without trust and safety, there is no coaching. More than anything else, coaching depends on the quality of the relationship between the coach and the coachee.

Hence the first thing key element of any coaching engagement is how to ensure that both the coach and coachee feels psychologically safe to be in that space. Perhaps it may come as a surprise to many that I’ve also included the coach in this.

Yes, it’s repeatedly emphasised to coaches (I do this to my students too ??) that they should ensure the coachee’s trust and safety. And I’m sure that’s the first thing any good coach worth their salt does.

But oftentimes, especially with new coaches, we feel anxiety ourselves coming into the session. We might worry we won’t be able to reach the outcomes the coachee wants of us. Or that we might be judged poorly by the coachee. Or even that we might go blank and not know what question to ask next. ?

As you can expect, none of these help us to be better coaches. So first, we need to let go of all these worries and feel safe in that space. Coaching is about the coachee, not us. Our focus should be on the coachee, not on how we are coming across to the coachee. As my coaching teacher, John Leary-Joyce , says coaching is two people’s focused attention and awareness for the benefit of one.

Of course, none of us are immune to self doubt or anxieties. What I do is a mental exercise I learnt from my late Waldorf educator mentor, Hellmann Hobby Horst Waldorf . He told us to reach up for higher wisdom and be the conduit to deliver it to our students through our words. A decade later, I still visualise that every time I am stuck or worried if I’m delivering value. It’s never failed me. When I think that I am just a conduit, it takes the pressure of me entirely, and I am free to focus solely on the client.

Next, elements. Just like in chemistry, the bond is the link between two atoms. They may be the same element or they may be different elements. Regardless, what those atoms are is important.

In coaching, the ‘atoms’ are the coach and the coachee. Let’s talk first about the coach. Who we are as coaches makes a difference to the coaching session. Beyond powerful questions and active listening, we use ourselves as instruments to benefit the client. In coaching parlance, it’s the “use of self”. How do we present ourselves as coaches so that we are of the greatest benefit to our clients? In other words, what’s our coaching presence?

Two conflicting ideas feature in this. We want to be a clean mirror and we want to be authentic. Let’s look at both of these.

What does it mean to be a clean mirror? One, as a mirror, we reflect back to our coachees their blindspots and limiting beliefs. We do this without judgement or expectations. And especially with advice, meaning “you should do this about it”. Just like a mirror accurate shows our size without making any comment or judgment on it. Doing this gives the client the space to reflect for themselves, explore what it means to them, and decide what they want to do about their own lives.

Two, what does it mean to be clean? It means we do not bring our issues and our triggers to the session. As a human being, it is inevitable that we have traumas. It is also inevitable that these traumas leave mental and emotional ‘landmines’ that blow up when touched.?

However, when this occurs during a coaching session, it takes our focus away from the client and disables our ability to be present to the client and where they are at. We may start to interpret what the client says in the light of our own experience and project our feelings onto them. Thus, the more we deal with our own issues or traumas and clear them up so that they do not trigger during a session, the more effective we will be as coaches. This is what it means to be a ‘clean instrument’.

Next, let’s look at the other element, the coachee. Every coachee is different. Not only that, a coachee will turn up differently to every session. Even within the same session, a coachee’s state of mind and focus will constantly change, and if we’re effective as coaches, we might even change a coachee’s mindset, deepset beliefs, and so ultimately the coachee themselves during a session.

All of these make our jobs as coaches delightful. (Imagine a world in which every coachee is exactly the same. I shudder.) Therefore, let’s look at these three aspects:

1.??????? The coachee’s context

2.??????? The coachee’s presentation

3.??????? The coachee’s state

When we start a coaching engagement with any coachee, we strive to understand them. These could include background reading, but it would definitely involve speaking to them, understanding their motivation, and learning about their background. This context from which they come then colours all of our conversation with them.

We say in coaching that we meet the coachees where they are at. This means that when I sit down to coach, I work towards the coachee’s outcomes, not mine, irregardless of whether I personally agree with the coachee’s outcomes for the situation. One of our core beliefs as coaches is that the client is the expert in their own lives and situations. I may think the coachee should quit her job, but if she wants to find a way to excel at it, what’s what I will work towards with my coachees wholeheartedly. And if I am unable to do so for ethical or personal reasons (for instance, if the coachee is in an abusive relationship and wants to work towards keeping it), I will inform the coachee, explain why, and help the coachee find the help they need, whether from another coach or another professional.

Hence, whenever I speak to a coachee, I am always aware of what is her cultural context, personal background, and even core beliefs and values. I try to see the world from her worldview and help the coachee succeed on her terms.

This does not in any way mean that the coachee is static. Every single time a coachee turns up to a session, he is different. And my job is to be fully aware of how the coachee is presenting himself this time. Is he coming from back-to-back meetings, distracted and harried? Is he currently facing a serious issue at work and eager to speak to me about it?

There are many ways to find out the coachee’s presentation to the session. I’ll list a few of them and they are by no means exhaustive.

To start with, it’s hard for us to find out the internal state of the coachee if the coachee himself is unaware. So it’s often helpful to make the coachee aware of his inner state first.

My teacher, John Leary-Joyce , would start each class by getting us to notice how we are arriving to the session. We would each share authentically how we have arrived. The awareness itself would start to shift our state. Nonetheless, he would often get us to lean a little more into the state in which we arrive. And then to explore the opposite of that state.

I also know coaches who asks the coachees to centre themselves and take a few deep breaths. Although it’s not a stated goal, this will often have the same effect of getting the coachee to focus on themselves and not be distracted by their issues of the day.

Even without the coachee himself noticing, some coaches can judge the inner state of the coachee through their observation of him or intuitively sense the state of coachee through resonance.

For me, I tend to use the simplest method. ?? I just ask the coachee. My first question is always, how are you? Not in the perfunctory sense, but with genuine curiosity. I want to know how have things been since I last saw her, how her day has been thus far, how she is feeling right now, and what progress or lack thereof has happened on the issues we last talked about. I spend quite a bit of time each session talking about these things. It may seem like a waste of time, but it helps me to truly get how the coachee is entering the session and it also helps the coachee to process what has happened and make sense of the past week and current situation for herself.

Finally, we must track the coachee as the session progresses. Any person’s mental and emotional state changes from moment to moment. As I’ve often told my students, we are taxi drivers. We own the taxi (the coaching session and process) but the client is the passenger (we follow their directions). Hence, we need to be aware of what direction changes the client is making and follow them.

I have had coaching sessions where the client comes in with one outcome, and decided midway that there was another outcome they wanted or was more important to them. Once, I had a senior leader who came to the session to decide if they wanted to continue their career with the organisation or leave to start her own business. When I asked her what her ideal legacy would be, she realised what she really wanted to do is to enable others to connect to their true purpose in life. The moment that became clear to her, in her own words, “Whether I stay or not is irrelevant”. What dawned for her is that wherever she is, the position that enabled her to enable others the moment was what she wanted. We then spent the rest of the session discussing what this realisation meant for her and how she was going to actualise it. To this day, I don’t know if she decided to stay or leave in the end. But it didn’t matter to the client, and therefore it doesn’t matter to me. Imagine if I hadn’t been tracking the client and had insisted on continuing the discussion on that decision. It would have been a fruitless and frustrating session for both the client and I.

How do we better track our clients? Easy. Pay close attention. ?? As long as we are present to our clients at all times, it should not be a problem for us to track them.

What to Do as a Leader?

For leaders coaching their teams, the bond is the issue. ?

The biggest challenge for most leaders is the relationship between coach and coachee. As a line manager, there are many aspects to the relationship between you and your team member. You delegate work, appraise his performance, develop his capabilities, and mentor him on his career progression within your organisation. These come into play when you are coaching him. Depending on how other aspects are, you may find it easier or harder to establish trust and safety with your team member.

If you do find it hard, take it as feedback about your leadership. As Google has found, psychological safety is the most important factor for high performing teams. If some of your team members find it difficult to feel safe, are there implications for their performance. What can you do to foster a greater sense of safety within your team?

Conversely, the easiest aspect is the understanding of your coachee. Unless you or he is new to the position, you probably have some knowledge of who he is and what his motivations are. The bigger challenge is staying present to the current state instead of acting on past knowledge. No one is ‘always’ or ‘never’ something or other. We all vary from day to day and being open to the now, rather than reacting to preconceived notions of how someone is ‘like’ will benefit not just coaching, but even the daily interactions of work.

Lastly, as leaders, we’re have multiple demands, many of which are conflicting. Plus, we’re expected to fight fires and deal with complex stakeholder management, all while delivering on our KPIs and ensuring our teams deliver on theirs. Is it any wonder that we’re stressed out and distracted?

What then happens is that we lose sight of who we are being while we are getting what we need to do done. Coaching teaches us to think of ourselves as instruments. Who we are conveys way more than what we do. When we can learn to use our presence well, we will be able to turn up in a way that helps us and our teams achieve the outcomes the organisation wants. Even beyond coaching, this affects the kind of leaders we are, and consequently, the kind of impact we are able to make as leaders.

What to Do as a Coach?

We have an adage in coaching that the more we get coached, the more we improve as coaches. Obviously, that’s because as coaches, we so deeply believe in the benefits of coaching. ?? Plus, coaching helps us to process our own issues so that we clean them up and they do not affect us when we are coaching others.

On a more practical side, take the time to explore your own concerns about coaching. Are you anxious you will not make an impact? Do you fear not being able to be of real help to the coachee? Have you struggled with asking the right questions during a coaching session before and now worry it will happen again? Speak to your own coach about such issues and find a more useful perspective going forward.

When we can let go of our focus on ourselves and truly be present to the coachee, the coaching sessions naturally flow better and easier. Personally, coaching is my mindfulness practice. But if it’s not for you, then find another way to be fully present in the moment, fully open to your coachee and where they are at.?

Now that we’ve dealt with ourselves and turned up to the coaching session, what next??

Trust and safety first. We’ve helped ourselves feel safe in the session. Now it’s time to help our coachees feel safe. My mentor coach gave me the feedback once that I wasn’t spending enough time helping new coachees understand the process of coaching and their role in it. It made some coachees defensive when they first come into the sessions. When I took her advice and start spending a lot more time helping coachees truly feel comfortable in the sessions and addressing all of their concerns, the coaching sessions got much more effective. The time spent in the beginning was more than paid back later when coachees became more willing to be open, to share authentically, and to delve quickly into deep issues.

Secondly, understand without judging. I often use the analogy of tourists with my students. I am on Planet Serene and my coachee is on Planet Coachee. When I speak to them, it is as if I am visiting Planet Coachee. I bring curiosity but no preconceived ideas of how things should be like. When she tells me there are three moons, I don’t go, “You’re wrong. There’s only one moon.” I go, “Oh wow, so Planet Coachee has three moons. What’s the impact of having three moons?” I have never been to Planet Coachee and she lives there. Who am I to say what is right or wrong on Planet Coachee? Again, remember, the coachee is the expert on her life and situation.

Third, bear in mind that the quality of your relationship is the quality of the coaching session. Provide your coachee with honest reflections of what you see and hear from her. If that makes you come to a certain conclusion about her, ask if that is also how she shows up in the world, and what impact showing up like this has on her life. Just bringing awareness would often create change in and of itself.

Lastly, remind yourself that you are only a coach. You are not a god. I know as a coach, that I often fall prey to the saviour complex. I want to “help people”, meaning I want to be the main reason they are saved. I constantly tell myself that I am but incidental to my clients’ successes. Coachees are the ones who examine their blindspots and remove their limiting beliefs. They are the ones who change themselves. They are the ones who take action after that change. All I am doing is giving them the time, space, and support to do so. I don’t “help them”. I enable them to help themselves. As I tell my coaching students, the monkey is on their backs, not ours.

Final Product?

I know I’ve only covered the simplest diagrams. There is still organic chemistry and stereochemistry to go. ?? Those will unfortunately have to wait for another edition. Still, even with the simplest diagrams, there is much to learn from chemistry.

Just as in chemistry, some molecules will be stable, and others will fall apart. Happily, unlike chemistry, there are things we can do to ensure that our bonds with our coachees are stable and rewarding to both our coachees and ourselves.

I wish you the very best coaching sessions!

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