Cheerless Chairman

Cheerless Chairman

If you had worked as a CEO for many years,?the Chairman's tag could be an alluring prospect in the much anticipated career progression.

?But that's not to be, in?my case. ??

?Being in the Chair (or chairs), is not necessarily a comfortable position.

?Especially if you are an Amazon's Prime customer and in a reckless Black Friday binge, you transgress your limits of authority-and without the due approval of the LOH ( Lady of the House), you decide to order an oversized reclining chair for your home office.?

?The problem is in WFH mode,?you can carry your work to home, but not your authority. You may have a new chair at home, but no powers of the Chairman.

?On the fateful day, when the unwieldy piece of furniture arrived, the gravity of my unsanctioned ?addition to?an already cluttered place, dawned on me.

?I could've ?pleaded leniency from LOH - the domestic disciplinary authority, citing my work record , but Amazon spoiled my chances?of getting away with a lighter penalty.

?They decided to send me next day, an additional chair of much bigger proportions free of cost. Either it's a bonus for my steadfast loyalty, punishment for not buying more expensive stuff ?or a software bug, I can't decode, ?but this Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal made me a serial offender and ?a cheerless chair(s)man at home.

?This obnoxious and over sized extra piece that intruded into the proceedings of my home without notice or agenda, made my case feeble before the domestic disciplinary authority.?

?The chair's larger and heavier than other similar objects. Its presence caused abrupt climate change and the temperatures rose at home, diluting the yuletide spirit.

?I realized that I must find a way to dispose it off to end the year on a peaceful note.

?But how will I manage to clear the room ( and the air) of this obnoxious piece occupying center stage??

?It's like a large ceremonial throne, the kind one would use in Indian weddings. That neither I, nor more eligible folks in my domicile had any immediate plans to use it for wedding purposes, makes this object a persona non grata at home?

?Fervent calls to the vendor resulted in a lazy suggestion, " Sir, ?why don't you sell it off to anyone you may know? The vendor understood, the cost of return delivery could exceed its sale proceeds.

?The prospect of entering into the furniture trade, though many market analysts, consider me a piece of furniture myself in the insurance industry, ?didn't enthuse me. I don't think I could become a unicorn selling unwanted chairs to unsuspecting clients. Insurance is a better bet to laugh your way to the bank.

?Lady of the House, after a painful ?long pause, miffed at my inability to remove the piece. She ?threatened to put the chair along with me on Olix, but dropped the idea as she realized the Chair + Man ?has no takers.?

?Folks at home, held urgent meetings and resolved unanimously that the Chair-man must?restore the house to order before the New year arrived or face the consequences.

?Faced with the decree, I feverishly called again the Shahjahanpur based vendor. ?After my perpetual pursuit, only an insurance guy could unleash, the vendor finally relented to take it back.

?After an agonizing wait, the pick- up team from Delhivery had arrived and took away the objectionable piece, ?to restore peace and order at home.?

?Having met my year-end target by resolving the issue amicably, ?I left for airport to catch a flight.?

?I boarded the plane and settled down in my seat, then ?my phone rang. Ignoring the reproachful look of?the flight attendant, I picked up the call.?

?It's from the Customer Care of the Delhivery pick up center, "Sir we received in our warehouse a large chair with your address printed. Please pay the delivery charges through the payment link..?"

?I protested as loudly as possible without compromising the flight safety norms. I pleaded that the chair was wrongly delivered to me, I neither paid for nor asked for it in the first place and it should be sent back to the seller who should pay for its freight.

.?Before the call was cut off to comply with the air travel norms, I could faintly hear the Customer Care, declaring that the chair would be sent back to my home if I don't pay up.?

?Post Script:

• ?Picture Abhi Baaki Hai.
• Amazon portal still wrongly shows the first chair, ?I ordered and received?long ago, ?is still on its way, ?and will be delivered soon
• Delhivery team that picked up the extra wrong delivery, is calling me repeatedly seeking payment for the freight lest they would dump it at my home
• LOH is browsing Google to check if my actions constitute domestic violence?and whether ?National Commission for Women could be of any help.
• I am feverishly checking the Internet to find Jeff Bezos residential address to direct Delhivery team to send the offensive piece to?him?and I would willingly pay the overseas freight.
• My door bell is ringing, the Secret Santa has arrived with a bag full of gifts. I hope it's not the Delhivery boy dressed up in a red robe and white?beard to leave the unwarranted?package back at my place.

? Merry Christmas and Happy New Year