Check Yourself At The Door

Most of our assumptions have outlived their uselessness - Marshall McLuhan

Muse With Me Human

I once had the privilege of working with a new client on several key themes that were related more to examining the positive impact that understanding one's beliefs and behaviours can have on the effectiveness of self and team.

I also learned a precious lesson on how my assumptions were blockers to my effectiveness and potential ability to perform my part of the deal to the client's satisfaction.

We commenced the session?watching a short video clip by Kim Ades from Frame Of Mind Coaching?that really struck a chord with the group of 24 in the room.?

So - what did Kim assume in those first moments of seeing Louis? What did others assume given the primary data they were provided? What would you assume?

The final and most powerful words said by Kim were to "Assume Positive Intent".?

There was a strong realisation amongst the group that on most occasions we enter into our day-to-day interactions with other human beings who have already assumed what they will be like, and most times we find ourselves starting below the line or negatively.

In fact, before we have even "walked through the door" our assumptions are so imprinted that we give ourselves little or no room to move once we begin the interaction. The result of this assumptive mindset is not surprising. The interaction usually ends badly or at its best feels a little neutral in its outcome. Rarely when we go in assuming negatives about the other human being, idea, concept, or strategy do we come out in a positive state of mind.

These assumptions are built from a range of sources including previous personal experience, "helpful advice" from colleagues, the "corporate buzz" around the office, stereotyping "positions or job titles as people" and simply making up a story that suits us at the time.

I shared my story with the group at the latter stages of the conference about how I had not "checked myself at the door" when I successfully won their work to facilitate the conference. Without giving too much away my assumption given the nature of the work that my client performed was a little neutral and quite boring therefore my assumption was they would be the same.?

This couldn't be further from the experience I had. A group of humans who were a pleasure to work with; experts in their field, displaying plenty of humour, challenging their and others assumptions, checking themselves at the door, and most of all just simply just good fun to be with.

This was a valuable lesson for me in how I turn up and?check myself at the door?before I go straight to the useless assumptions that I build through my own experiences, the stereotypes that sat with me or that "helpful advice" supplied to me by others.

I also asked the group early on Day One if anyone had turned up with negative intent or intent to derail me over the two days? The reaction was one of complete surprise. I think I had done a good enough job of this on myself.

Come to think of it my mantra is that we all turn up with good intent.?

It’s the human way.?

Perhaps I should have remembered this when I turned up at the door.