Check yourself

Hey! Don’t talk to my friend like that!

I was recently chatting with a marketing bud , Travis Tyler , about the negative narratives we create in our heads that keep us from recognizing our greatness and thriving in it.

He put it into perspective like this:

“When we’re so tough on ourselves, a good question to ask yourself is ‘would you talk like that to your best friend?’

Why would you treat yourself worse than your best friend?”

It might sound dorky, but it’s true.

When was the last time you told a friend they weren’t meeting expectations? That they weren’t achieving enough, working enough, or reaching milestones fast enough? That they were stupid, a failure?

I’m guessing…pretty much never. (Hopefully.)

But when was the last time you said these things about yourself, to yourself?

Comments like:

“That was such a stupid mistake, I’ll never get it right”

“I can’t believe I haven’t figured this out yet”

“I can’t do this”

If you’re like me — probably way more often than you want to admit.

This is called negative self-talk, aka the inner dialogue you have with yourself that puts you down and makes you feel bad. For many people (myself included), negative self-talk comes as easily as breathing air.

Participating in the act of negative self-talk makes you your own worst bully when you should really be your own best friend.

When you turn the conversation around, you start to see how the negative self-talk hurts you (and why would you want to do that to your lifelong bff?).

That means it’s time to approach the situation with a new perspective.

The next time you’re getting down on yourself, try stepping outside the cycle of self-criticism and talk to yourself like you would a friend.

3 (other) ways to challenge negative self-talk

1. Meditate or journal to identify your negative thoughts and become more aware of your negative thought patterns. This can help you recognize when you’re being your own worst bully.
2. When you catch yourself using negative self-talk, have a conversation with yourself. Like, a real honest-to-goodness spoken out loud conversation. Play both parts and treat yourself with kindness. Ask why you feel that way, if it’s rational, and what you can do to help yourself feel better.
3. Talk to a friend, a loved one, or a therapist. Use your support system for a reality check.

Challenging your inner thoughts ain’t easy, but you CAN do it.

And hey, if you ever wanna talk, I’m here. Just reply to this email.

More Mental Health Matters

??? Listen: Travis Tyler’s episode of Everything’s Coming Up Marketing where he shares his experience with OCD, sobriety, and treating yourself with kindness.

?? Read: Constantly Down on Yourself? How To Stop Negative Self-Talk via Cleveland Clinic

?? Read: Stop being so mean to yourself. Here are 5 tips to help you break the cycle via Life Kit by NPR

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