On Cheating...

My oldest daughter (11 years old) comes home fuming that some of her classmates have been cheating during their Spanish exam.

Apparently some of the kids had written words to remember on their palm or had thought of other ways to cheat.

After listening to her for a while, I ask her "why are you so mad about others cheating?"

She pauses for a moment and then responds: "They will get better grades than they deserve!"

I follow up with the next question: "Why do their grades matter to you?"

She does not even blink and says: "The better students do in average, the more difficult it becomes to get an A. I am at a disadvantage when so many of the others cheat. Maybe I should also cheat."

"OK... that makes sense. Now, what do grades stand for?"

Her response: "Grades are an indicator of how well a student does in a certain subject at a given point in time."

My response: "Agreed... that's a good definition. But that is only true if a student is not cheating. If a student cheats, their grades might look good, but they become meaningless."

She pauses... I can see that she is thinking about this and looking for ways to counter my argument. She looks at me as if she has been defeated.

I continue: "I agree with you, your classmates might get a good grade today, but that grade does not reflect at all whether they have learned something or not. They are not cheating the teacher... they are cheating themselves."

Her eyes open up... she looks at me as if she wants to hear more.

"As parents we are proud if you have good grades... and you do. But we first and foremost look at your grades as an indicator of your progress, of your learning. We also look at them to identify whether and when you might need help. If someone cheats none of that works."

I realize that she wants to say something, so I stop. She waits for a moment and then asks: "What if people cheat their way all through school? Is there a point at which one cannot cheat any longer? Will they at some point face consequences?"

It's amazing how kids at that age already think... it's also amazing how big their sense of fairness is.

I share with her how many of my classmates during high-school used to cheat, but at some point they could not progress. I also share how some of my fellow students during medical school cheated, but when they faced patients they were helpless.

She realizes that cheating always comes at a cost... it might not be visible today, but it will hit the person that cheats and - in the case of medicine - have severe consequences.

She looks at me and says: "I will not cheat... I will study to learn. The grades will be an indicator of my progress - not more not less. And I will not care about the results of others. I will focus on myself."

She grabs her laptop and goes off to study.

I sit down and reflect on the conversation she and I just had... I realize that many teams and whole organizations constantly cheat.

Teams cheat by not asking for feedback which means they do not even see whether they are making progress. They cheat by demonstrating the wrong things and inviting the wrong stakeholders. They cheat by looking at the wrong indicators.

In most cases, I believe, they do not do this on purpose... they do it unconsciously as they are scared of the truths. They are scared of realizing that they might have worked on the wrong thing the whole time. They are scared of the consequences from real transparency.

I believe we can cheat all we want... sooner or later reality will hit us.

At some point we won't stand a chance against those that have been doing the work, that have gone through rigorous feedback, and that have adapted accordingly.

If everyone would be cheating, cheaters might stand a chance... but as there are companies and individuals who keep doing the work, the once who cheat won't stand a chance... the market will sweep them away - rightfully so.

I believe that it is fundamentally management's role to raise bar, to ask for transparency, and to ensure that we don't cheat our way forward... but actually face the truth and lern from it.

Constantly raising the bar is not easy... because as usual, we would have to start with ourselves.

#FromNothingComesNothing