ChatGPT and I Agree on Why Your Marketing Sucks

Did you know that according to Psychology Today and other publications such as Science Alert that cursing may be both therapeutic and a sign of higher intelligence? Well f*#k me! So, at the risk of losing subscribers and followers because nobody has ever heard me, except my wife, talk like this, I guess I will go for it to demonstrate my "higher intelligence" around marketing. So, let's get this party started!

Holy shit, buckle up folks! I’m about to lay bare some raw, unfiltered truth about the clusterfuck that is small business marketing. Why? Because if my pain can save you from stepping on the same landmines, then let’s fucking go!

Picture this: I’m fresh out of a big-ass meeting with my buddy (fellow West Point grad and business owner) about some federal contract shit. We’re talking shop, and I start spilling the tea on my 13 years in the trenches of small business marketing. Not your fancy-pants corporations, mind you, but the mom-and-pop joints that make up the backbone of our economy.

Here’s the kicker: as a digital marketer, you’re often walking into a minefield of skepticism. These businesses have been burned before, shelling out thousands to “gurus” who promised the moon and delivered jack shit. By the time they call me, it’s usually to perform CPR on their dying marketing efforts.

I hit my friend with this analogy: Imagine a salesperson waltzing in and pointing out operational flaws. They’d be shown the door faster than you can say “overstepping.” Well, that’s the same bullshit I face as a marketer. Never mind my West Point engineering degree, my MBA in finance, or my 13 years running my own company. Nope, I’m “just a marketer,” so what the fuck would I know about business operations or sales, right?

Now, hold onto your hats because this is where it gets wild. About 90% of the time, these businesses hire digital marketing without having a basic marketing plan or sales strategy. It’s like trying to build a house without a blueprint?—?you’re gonna end up with a fucking mess.

They’re hiring different companies for SEO, social media, web dev, and content marketing?—?and none of these poor bastards are talking to each other. It’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions! Digital marketing is like a car engine?—?all parts need to work together, or you’re going nowhere fast.

When I start asking about revenue goals or their best-selling products, I get looks like I’m speaking Klingon. They want me to pull marketing ideas out of my ass without any context. Seasonal trends? Business objectives? Closing rates? Crickets, my friends. Pure fucking crickets.

After years of this madness, I started to wonder: Am I the crazy one here? So, I turned to our AI overlord, ChatGPT, and asked if it’s even possible to have a digital marketing strategy without an overall plan or business goals.

Here’s what the silicon sage had to say:

It is technically possible to create a digital marketing or social media strategy without a detailed overall marketing plan or deep knowledge of business objectives, but doing so is not recommended and often leads to ineffective or misaligned strategies. Here’s why:

1.Lack of Direction and Purpose

- Without Business Objectives: A strategy created in a vacuum lacks a clear direction. Business objectives provide the goals that the marketing strategy should aim to achieve, whether it’s brand awareness, lead generation, or customer retention. Without these, you risk implementing tactics that do not contribute meaningfully to the business.

- Misalignment: Strategies developed without considering the broader business context can be misaligned with the company’s needs, leading to wasted resources and missed opportunities.

2. Inconsistent Branding and Messaging

- Lack of Cohesion: A digital marketing strategy that doesn’t align with the overall brand messaging and positioning can create confusion among your audience. Consistency is key in building a strong brand, and this consistency comes from a unified marketing plan.

- Brand Identity Issues: Without a clear understanding of the business’s brand identity, the tone, style, and messaging of the digital or social media strategy may vary, leading to a diluted or conflicting brand image.

3. Ineffective Use of Resources

- Budget Misallocation: Without a clear marketing plan, it’s challenging to allocate budgets effectively. You may overspend on less impactful channels or underinvest in channels that could drive significant results.

- Tactical vs. Strategic: Without understanding the broader business goals, digital marketing efforts may become overly tactical?—?focused on short-term gains rather than building long-term value.

4. Lack of Metrics and KPIs

- No Clear KPIs: Business objectives inform the key performance indicators (KPIs) that digital marketing strategies should aim to meet. Without these KPIs, it’s difficult to measure success or adjust tactics effectively.

- No ROI Measurement:Without clear objectives, it’s almost impossible to measure the return on investment (ROI) of digital marketing activities, leading to potential inefficiencies and a lack of accountability.

5. Inability to Adapt and Scale

- No Strategic Foundation: A strong digital marketing strategy is often built on the foundation of the overall marketing plan. Without this foundation, the strategy may not be adaptable to changing market conditions or business needs.

- Missed Integration Opportunities: Digital marketing should ideally integrate with other marketing channels (offline, PR, etc.). Without an overarching plan, these opportunities for integration may be missed, resulting in siloed efforts that don’t complement each other.

Conclusion:

While it’s possible to operate without an overall marketing plan or clear business objectives, it’s akin to navigating without a map. The resulting digital marketing strategy might achieve some results, but it’s unlikely to be efficient, scalable, or aligned with the broader business goals. For the best results, a digital marketing or social media strategy should always be informed by and integrated with the overall marketing strategy and business objectives.

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally! Turns out I’m not losing my marbles after all. But here’s where I man up and take some blame. My buddy asked what I could do differently, and I had to admit?—?I need to vet my prospects better. Ask the tough questions upfront. If they don’t have a plan and aren’t willing to pay me to help create one, I’ve gotta walk away. Hard truth, but necessary.

I was naive thinking that just because a business has been around for years, they must have their shit together. Spoiler alert: that’s not always the case! Some have just been lucky, riding the wave of supply and demand. But eventually, a competitor with an actual plan is going to come along and eat their lunch.

Maybe I should ask ChatGPT if my logic is sound. After all, what the fuck do I know? I’m just a marketer.