"F" Is for Feedback?

Instead of ranting about how badly feedback is delivered in the workplace, let's focus on fixing it. And that's not as hard as it sounds.

Welcome back to Curiouser, our monthly newsletter with insights about leadership. This month's edition is about feedback.

When you see the word “feedback,” what thoughts come to mind? What feelings do you get?

When we ask our participants this question, critique, negative, and anxiety are often mentioned. So is failure. Rarely do we hear growth opportunity.

Which is odd since most of us—72% according to one survey — believe feedback is critical to our growth and development. I suppose the answer lies in the same survey: only 5% of us say we get quality feedback that helps us grow.

It’s unsurprising, then, that a conversation has emerged in recent years to reconsider the role of feedback in the workplace. There are lots of fair critiques of feedback—it’s typically delivered poorly ; it’s often subjective , based too much on opinions or preferences; and its focus—by definition—is backwards looking .

Despite calls to ditch feedback, it’s not going anywhere. Rather than rant about its value, here’s how to productively engage with feedback and turn it into a powerful tool for growth:?

1. Ask for Permission. Before sharing feedback or advice, ask for permission first.
2. Share Concrete Feedback. Be truthful, objective, specific, and concise (and listen!)
3. Offer Actionable Advice. Provide actionable advice, framed as suggestions, not directives (and listen!).
4. Make It a Conversation. Create space for questions to allow for an exchange of ideas.

1. Ask for Permission

Unsolicited thoughts on our performance rarely land well. But it’s easier to receive feedback if we’ve given someone permission to share it.

This can feel like a formality, but simply asking someone if they’re open to feedback shows you understand that receiving feedback isn’t easy. It demonstrates your empathy.

Requesting permission also helps the recipient feel like they have some control over the conversation. And by granting permission, they’ll be better prepared to hear what you have to say.

2. Share Concrete Feedback

Most of us can probably recall at least one example of negative feedback that took us by surprise. But most of the time, we’re well aware of our shortcomings before they’re pointed out by others.

Keep this in mind as you share feedback. If an employee bombed a presentation, they probably know it. A detailed rehashing of how badly they screwed up isn’t edifying—it’s humiliating.

Backwards-looking feedback certainly has a role to play, even if it’s just to align on missed expectations or poor performance. But to make it truly valuable to the recipient, it should be delivered thoughtfully. Here’s how:

• Be truthful. Sugarcoating feedback or delivering the familiar “feedback sandwich ” obscures the important points you’re trying to make. Candor is key.
• Be specific and objective. Make sure the situation or behavior in question is grounded in data, not opinion.?
• Be concise. Make your point and move on. Since the recipient likely knows they screwed up, dwelling on the past isn’t helpful for anyone.
• Be empathetic. Share how you’ve experienced a similar challenge before. You’ll humanize the conversation and help them see how you grew from the experience.
• Listen. Encourage the recipient to ask clarifying questions. If your feedback is accurate, they need to fully understand your comments. If it’s not accurate, you should want to know that, too.

3. Offer Actionable Advice

While backwards-looking feedback has its place, more productive terrain can be found in forward-looking advice . A Gartner study found that organizations that include forward-looking conversations in performance reviews see employee performance improve by as much as 13%.?As executive coach and author, Marshall Goldsmith , put it, “It can be more productive to help people learn to be right, than prove they were wrong.”

Just as with feedback, your unsolicited advice will land better if you’ve asked permission first. Once granted, here’s how you can make the forward-looking feedback magic happen:

• Provide actionable advice. Make suggestions that are tactical in nature, very specific, and feasible for the recipient to do.
• Frame as suggestions. Sharing advice shouldn’t sound like you’re ordering someone around. Instead of leading with “You should…” try “If I were in your shoes, next time I would…”
• Offer additional help. Whenever possible, offer support after the conversation. This additional offer signals your intention isn’t just to critique, but to help.
• Listen. You’ve offered advice, not a directive, so allow the recipient to ask questions and explore your suggestions.?See their questions as curiosity, not defensiveness.

4. Make It a Conversation

You may have noticed a trend in the steps above: dialogue. Rather than one-way, one-sided communication, good feedback sounds like a conversation.

Done well, it’s even possible your feedback conversations become little bit fun. If that sounds like a stretch, give this TedX Talk by Joe Hirsh a listen.

Stay curious!

- Leadership & Co.

Like what you read?

• Bring these best practices to your leaders through our flagship Core Leadership Program or as a standalone Providing Productive Feedback Workshop.
• Share your thoughts in the Comments below.
• Subscribe to this newsletter.
• Follow us on LinkedIn.