Chasing Fear

Fear keeps people from doing a lot of things.  Many of those things, like not touching a hot stove because you’re afraid of being burned, are reasonable.  Yet, when we don’t speak up in the classroom or in a business meeting because we’re afraid of asking a stupid question or because we’re terrified of public speaking, it’s not reasonable.  For the longest time I was completely petrified when I’d have to give a presentation in front of a large group.  Now, not so much.  Something changed along the way, I began to chase down my fears and search for things that made me uncomfortable.

                I took sales classes during my undergrad, but the thought of being in front of a group and risking hearing ,”No,” was too much for me.  After several years working in a variety of analytical roles, I realized my fear of public speaking was holding me back; my fear of hearing “No” was limiting my growth opportunities.  When a sales position opened up in Houston, Texas I bid aggressively for it.  Sales was a big risk for both me and the hiring manager as I had no experience to that point other than in a classroom.  However, my desire for the position convinced the hiring manager and myself that I could do the job.  After my first sales call, the buyer said to me, “None of this is personal, it’s only business.”  From that point on, “No” didn’t hold any sting, its power had been chased away.  Interestingly enough, while my desire to challenge myself with something that I was afraid of led to me not fearing “No” any longer, it really was the words of the buyer that had dealt the final blow.  We should have personal stakes in our business dealings, but when something doesn’t go our way, it’s not because we personally failed.  It’s because we haven’t uncovered a need strong enough to encourage action.  “No” doesn’t mean you’ve failed, “No” means “Not now.”

                As I mentioned previously, I was terrified of public speaking, my heart would pound in my chest, my mouth would get dry, and my legs would shake with nervous energy.  I was afraid of missing a line, of forgetting what I needed to say, or seeing someone in the audience snicker.  Yes, I have forgotten my train of thought for a moment, yet I’ve never once seen anyone snicker.  The thought of failing in front of a group was so terrifying to me, but even when I did make a mistake, nothing happened.  At the end of the presentation, everyone would clap and that would be the end of it.  The fact of the matter is this, no one wants to see you fail and no one will laugh at you if you do.  Just like the buyer giving friendly advice, the audience is there to support you.  “None of this is personal, it’s only a presentation.”

                Fear holds a lot of power.  It has kept a lot of people from doing things they would have succeeded brilliantly with.  For those of us who do challenge our limitations, our fears, we find that we are better for it.  Apart from my sales classes, I took a lot of creative writing courses in college.  What I feared most was when the class would proofread my papers.  Writing is very personal and something I’m very uncomfortable with sharing.  Just like hearing “No” in a sales call isn’t personal, or an audiences’ reaction to a presentation, the feedback I received was never personal.  I never once read a mark-up that said, “You should be ashamed of yourself, it’s principle not principal!”  Yet, I haven’t broken down that fear, hopefully posting this will help.