Charity - It's about you, not "them"!

Charity is not really about others. It is about you. Did you know that? Have you ever thought about it? Do you perform acts of charity? I bet you’d be surprised if you thought about it. Helping others is not about what you give. It is about what you get. People in need get what they need – but did you ever think about what you get? It’s really quite amazing.

I grew up doing service work on a regular basis. Picking up leftover baked goods at the mall in the evening to take to the homeless shelter (St Herman's House in Cleveland) and gathering donated food to sort, stock the food pantry, and sometimes even deliver to the needy. I remember one time my mom pulling up to a neighborhood house in our ugly station wagon - you know the one with the awful wood panels? It was a soft purplish color....not far off from the Griswald's family truckster. I was embarrassed to pull up in that car and at the same time curious as to why we pulled up to a house in our neighborhood similar to the ones by friends lived in. I mean, we were out to deliver food to the needy after all, right? Why would they be needy? I had been to the house two doors down many times to play. I jumped out and grabbed the bags filled with food for a good Thanksgiving dinner - and rang the door bell. I remember the woman taking the food. And I remember her voice thanking me. But I mostly remember staring at the little girl standing beside her that just watched. Watched me. And then the door closed. It felt good. Even at that young age I knew that the little girl had no idea what was happening and that her mom was so grateful. Growing up we often did other things to help people as well. I remember my mom sitting at the dining room table once a month laying out her bills, writing checks, and getting them ready to mail. And quite often among them - her writing checks to donate money to various people/places. I'm not even sure who she was sending it to. But I knew she did. I thought everyone sent money to people.

Looking back now - I was learning other ways of helping as every year went by. You see,my dad lost his sight over time. I never really knew what was happening or the extent. I remember him leaving for work in the morning with his brief case - just like we left for school each morning. He would walk down our cul-de-sac to the main road and up 4 blocks to the bus stop. And then take the bus to downtown Cleveland - work, and the come home the same way. Over the years he added a cane to that routine. And eventually - we would drop him off and pick him up in the parking lot near the corner and he would make that short walk to the bus stop. He was a proud man. He would have done it without the cane if he could have to avoid people looking. I really never knew - or even thought about - what my dad could or couldn't see. I knew his sight got worse as I grew older. But he still managed to do so much...I mean, we visited his office where he was a patent attorney. It was so nice there - and so much fun to look at all of the inventions he was working on. Remember Troll dolls? You shake them and their hair stands up??? He had them all over his desk once...and I don't even remember what he said he was working on for them. But - I do remember the one in a housecoat with curlers in her hair. And, I remember you could look out to Cleveland Airport from the window seat and watch the Cleveland Airshow from one hell of a seat! The Blue Angels flew by one time - while I sat the window on the 44th floor - and one pilot belly rolled so close to the window that I felt like I could have reached out and touched the plane. And, one of his co-workers window faced the Cleveland Muni Stadium ...when there were games, we could listen on the radio and watch through the binoculars or telescope. So much fun! And my dad was always the one telling me what office to go to and what to go see. so I figured, he must be able to see - right? I never realized that he was giving so much to me - until he asked to see my senior high school picture. He was so excited. I handed him a big 8x10 because it was the biggest - and he held it and smiled. And he said kind words about how beautiful I was. He choked up while looking at it. So I stepped over to thank him and take it. It was upside down. I knew then that he couldn't see much at all. But he was a proud man. And he sure did work hard to help us. To provide for us. And, to also help others in any way he could.

So as I grew up, we learned to help my dad as the need grew and others as needed. Not because we had to. And really, not even because we thought about it. We just did it. You help people that need help. You do it not because you have to, want to, get paid, or any other reason - you do it because it's the right thing to do and should be instinct. Over time - quite a long time in fact - I learned a very important lesson. Sometimes people can donate money. Others may be able to donate things, or time, or even an ear, knowledge or other things. It doesn't matter what you give. All that matters is that you do. If you can give - then do it! Give money when you can because others cant. Give time when you can because others cant. Give your support, attention, or even an ear and some advice - because in the end, someone needs what you can give.

I continued to donate my time at the local homeless shelter through college serving meals and cleaning tables. The best part was when I could grab a plate and sit down with the people we were serving to talk to them and more importantly - listen. Ironically I fell into this opportunity after a slight run in with the authorities during a college house party bust. When they "sentenced" me to community service - I remember smiling. I mean - you think you are punishing me by asking me to help others? Okay. Sure. I used to walk there at dusk, alone, in the city - and then back to my dorm afterwards. It never phased me as being dangerous. You know why? I knew that if any of the people I served at that shelter saw anyone messing with me on the two block walk home - they'd return the favor. They would help me. And, I saw them watching and following at a distance to make sure I got home. The people I served there were some of the best people I have known. They may have been down on their luck. They may have made bad decisions to get to where they were. But, they knew a whole lot more, felt a whole lot more, and saw a whole lot more than the rest of us. It's funny - sometimes when you have less, you actually have more.

Consider charity.

Giving your time, money, advice, or anything that you have to give will come back tenfold. And, heck...you'll feel pretty good too!