On Character and the virtues of vulnerability

David Brooks, the New York Times columnist, in his last book, ‘Road to Character’, delves into a familiar territory of his own, bringing out the latent understanding of the self, which under the stresses of modern achievements falters for the more appealing pastures of ‘advancement.’ I have rarely missed the columns of Brooks as he rarely misses to bring out something new.

Brooks is perhaps the only columnist who has used the word ‘vulnerability’ and highlighted its virtues, more than any writer. To do this in our times, when very high percentage of children actually start and live with the notion, calloused into them by their parents, that they are supremely special, is not a small achievement.

Starting to believe the inherent ‘supremacy’ over others, is so early and definitive in every child, that it needs a volley of failures and bankruptcies to tilt the balance in favor of the more genuine discovery, that the nature of supremacy lies not in self, but in the combined effort of people and the environ, we live and interact and engage in and by understanding the virtues of vulnerability we start to make the striking connection between self and others.

Character, by the way, is part of Adam-II, while Adam-I tries to ‘advance’, according to Brooks, which never ceases to question, lament or strive in the benign search for happiness or joy, which is truly a byproduct of whatever else we are engaged in doing as part of Adam-I or outside of. The world is replete with examples of individual achievements and successes, riding on a wave of self-seeking, self-driven endeavor that made path-breaking changes to happen. What it should also highlight is the role that such achievers have attributed to others and to mutual aid.

How do we prepare the youngsters for the right road to Character?

I am reminded of the very small exchange between two great men of our times; Tagore, the worldly Poet, told Gandhiji, ‘You are my Mahatma’, to which Gandhiji’s reply was instant, “But, you are my Gurudev”.

The understanding of character becomes easy, when pretense is overpowered by the simplicity of expression, which comes from within, almost instantaneously; as if like a slave who knows no other than the master must follow even a vacuous path to perdition. Complexity, on the other hand rises, with sullen beliefs, prejudice, mortared with the agonizing details of an argument, balanced from all sides with the armory of an intellect, lost in trades of entitlement or power.

Humility on the other hand is this acceptance of the vulnerability and the simultaneous respect for the ability in others, which can never be in doubt as more good can be derived out of this than the otherwise rejection of mutual aid that would adorn and alight the replacement of self-doubt.

The two states in which we live, as in Adam-I or Adam-II, or correlate and combine, leave us with an overarching need to accept our vulnerability and reject our moral and intellectual superiority over others; this is the road to character and not the road to other foibles, which no matter how appealing their precincts, stain the imperious underpinnings of a void, left by isolation and intemperance.

But on this road, one is making a solitary attempt, fraught with the risks of accepting a harrowed entry into the unknown goodness, while the surroundings abound with the knowledge of the less good; inane is the bent of mind that disavows the perceptions of what constitutes self-doubt, or the boundaries of self-limitations.  The strife, therefore with the self-limiting conscience and the worldly outer, acts to make the journey more full of bends and turns than straight and orderly pursuits.

There is a far greater tilt towards the virtues of self-determination and self-belief, which has moved leaders to power ahead to lead from the front. There can be no doubt that such a denouement is a culmination of the respect that others see in the leader, not by virtue of the supremacy that the leader propagates by his communication and language but by the tolerance for diversity and inclusion that the leader espouses in his every worldly action.  

The conduct of leadership therefore is not in the bludgeoning of approval ratings than in the grave understanding of the coordination between influencing and internalizing, guiding self to the task, more than delegating them to others.

It is in the self that the leader is making the most arduous change, to be able to make any change in the others. That is where the sense of vulnerability helps him to muster, lest he be swayed by the towering self-perception, hubris, et al.

Character, on this road, is the milestone at the very end of this stimulating journey, when the sum of all the trials and tribulations will leave an enduring and noteworthy psalm, how small one can advance on his own but how big the collective advance can be. Channelizing a collective advance to an organized collective goal is the test of character; by drawing as little to self-advancement the stock of character rises. The thin line between self-glory and the glory that the achievement of the task ushers in must fade with the strength that character derives.

By putting success of others before our own is the starting point from where character starts on the road.