The Chapters I Would Have Chosen to Skip

In the past when thinking of some of my life's chapters, I have been very quick to say, "It was one of the worst times of my life." Although that is very true for the most part, the lessons I have learned from each of them are not lost on me now. I am more powerful and stronger because of them. My journey was shaped because they happened. They are all a part of who I am.

Losing my father has by far been the most painful, but I know that he is in a much better place. He is suffering no more, has joined his mother and father, and now my oldest brother has joined them as well.

The legacy he left is carrying on nicely and I know that he is smiling down on us. My brothers and nephews are phenomenal fathers, just as he was. Yes, he taught them well. His children are all prospering for the most part. We are all striving to make our own mark, just as he taught us to do. Our books of life are shaping up nicely.

The stories I have to share as I speak, the experiences I share with my clients, and the "this is what happens" episodes that I use as reminders to teens, are all chapters from my book of life. They were not all pleasant. In fact, some should have killed, but God had other plans.

There were the toxic relationships, the bad decisions I made, financial devastation, low self-esteem and life threatening health conditions, but they no longer make me cringe. In fact, I still tear up as I think about them, but they are now tears of joy and gratefulness. Tears that remind me of the God I serve. There is not doubt about it, without God's grace and mercy, I would not be writing this article.

Before I took God's hand and started on this journey of self-acceptance and self-love, I would have chosen to skip every one of those chapters. I thought them to be cruel and unfair punishment. However, now I know without any uncertainty, that they were all to make me stronger and more powerful. They were all meant to be a part of my story. I needed to go through each and every one of them for what was to lie ahead of me, my true, God-given purpose. They were chapters I was to share with others as I got further in my journey, the one that would lead me to speak. Not only speaking, but to write and conduct training, to glorify God through it, to help others find their way.

Now I see what a "misfortune" it may have been should those chapters not exist, should I have not endured those things. There would be no Teresa L. Holmes, The Esteemologist. I may have not written any books, or had the courage to grab a mic and step on stage to share from where I have come. I would likely have not been connected to you in any way and you would not be reading this. I may have known nothing about this forum.

So, I must say, there are NO chapters I would have skipped. I understand it was all meant to be and I praise God for protecting and guiding me! Those bad chapters do not define me. They are a part of my journey as a whole, and all have a significant lesson or two embedded in them.

Are you allowing your "bad" chapters to define you? Are they keeping you from your purpose? They were not designed to do so. Just like in mine, there are lessons for you. Dig deep to discover them and move on to the next chapter that is waiting for you.