Chapter 9. It Is Up to Us.

The Myth of Having It All: Confessions of a Career Mom

Some years ago, our CEO at M?ller Group unveiled a new strategy, emphasizing a simple yet powerful statement: "It’s up to us." That phrase resonated with me so deeply that it became a guiding principle in my life—a lens through which I interpret challenges, opportunities, and expectations.

Now, after four months of living in Germany, I am often asked, “How are you settling in?” and “What has been your biggest challenge?” My honest answer? The biggest challenge is me. It is also the new culture, the unfamiliar surroundings, and for sure the language barrier, but the most it’s my own mindset. As the saying goes:

"Your thoughts shape your feelings, and your feelings shape your reality."

At the start of this year, I consciously decided to shift my perspective. Instead of dwelling on difficulties, I chose to focus on the positives, on what I enjoy, and on the gifts this new chapter has brought me. Don’t get me wrong—it hasn’t been easy. Uprooting my life with kids and adjusting to everything new has been far harder than I anticipated. I underestimated the scope of change. But, as I remind myself often: it is up to me to color our lives with positivity.

I’m fortunate to live in Bavaria, one of the most beautiful regions of Germany. The Alps are so close, and every Sunday, we go skiing—something I could only dream of doing so often when I lived back home. My children and I are learning the language, which will undoubtedly be a valuable skill in the future. They’re also gaining a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to grow up immersed in a different culture, to embrace change, and to reflect on the true meaning of friendship, family, and roots.

On a professional level, I’m living my dream. I wanted so much to work for the global Audi. I work with incredibly talented and experienced colleagues, and I get to engage with our business on a global scale—a goal I’ve been having for over a decade. Personally, I’m with someone I deeply love and who supports me in all that I do. So, what is there to feel bad about?

Expectations. That’s the tricky part.

The expectations we place on ourselves can be our killer. We often criticize others for setting unrealistic goals, yet we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards—even harsher ones. Why do we do that?

Here’s an example: Recently, I set myself a goal to work out for 24 consecutive days (all advents time), dedicating one hour each day to fitness—despite my busy schedule and responsibilities as a parent of two. To make it even more challenging, I announced it publicly on social media to hold myself accountable. And guess what? I didn’t make it. I completed 18 days—which is a significant achievement—but I felt disappointed and guilty for falling short.

As the quote goes:

"Set realistic goals, or risk being crushed by the weight of your own expectations."

Reflecting on my “Advent fitness challenge,” I realized something important: I had two choices. I could either celebrate an incredible streak of 18 days (something I’d never done before), or I could punish myself for not hitting 24. Ultimately, the choice was mine. On December 25th I felt I have let myself down.

This experience reinforced a lesson I’ve carried with me: Life is what we make of it. It is up to us to project positivity, to frame our experiences in a way that empowers us, and to embrace progress rather than perfection.

So here I close with what I started: It is up to us to color our tomorrow. Whether we choose the hope or the guilt, smile or the tear—that choice is ours to make and it’s not right or wrong.