Chapter 7: The Warrior's Heart | The Power of Intentional Gratitude?

?? Watch my video as I dive deep into the power of gratitude in Chapter 7 of Sirens & Summations

Introduction?

"The root of joy is gratefulness." - David Steindl-Rast?

As we discussed in Chapter 6, joy is a warrior kind of spirit. It is a way of being, a core of who you are, the only NorthStar truly worth living. Why?? Because joy builds confidence, boldness, steadiness, a willingness to live life unaffected by outside circumstances/influences, people’s expectations, or what is happening to you, good or bad. Is not being joyful why we are here in the first place??

Joy allows us to be even keeled and steady in good times and bad. Hence, it allows us to extract the most we can as we lean into life and all the good, bad, and ugly it can present. It allows us to live intentionally and fully. Isn’t that what we want to do with our precious lives??

Joyful people do not welcome problems, but they do not run away from problems either. They are the doers of big things, great accomplishments. They face problems head on with a positive/joyful spirit. It is easy to give up, easy to blame others, easy to let life’s fears overwhelm you, and just quit. The joyful warrior never allows this, they preserver irrespective if they “win, or lose.”?

The great Roman Emperor and warrior Marcus Aurelius stated: "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."??

This was a sentiment about gratitude from one of the most famous warriors to ever live, a man who led armies and faced ferocious opponents. And, who also had to run a global Empire politically, socially, and economically. Marcus Aurelius was no wall flower. Yet, this amazing man, like so many great thought leaders, understood a warrior's wisdom about the foundation of strength to do these monumental things, that being, the spirit of joy and gratitude.?

Last week, we explored how joy is part of a warrior's spirit. We are all warriors. Each day, we strive, we confront, we try to overcome. Now, let's examine one of the warrior's most powerful tools to achieve joyfulness: intentional gratitude. But first, this isn't about mere politeness or casual "counting your blessings" kind of thing - it's a disciplined practice that transforms the lens by which we experience life's entire journey!??

We have to be intentional about gratitude, we actually have to practice at it to become proficient. We need to guard our thoughts and attitudes with every bit of strength we have, especially in difficult and challenging days like these. We need to be forever vigilant about how we are thinking about “things”, especially negative “things.” For we do have a choice on how we view the world and our place in it.???

As for me, my choice has always been to literally stop the negative self-talk, slow down racing thoughts, and FORCE myself to find something to be grateful for in that very moment, especially the bad moments! It takes courage and a lot of practice, as I think it is the human condition to devote 95% of our time on 5% of our problems.???

Does that make sense? I know it does!???

The amazing thing is we have the power to stop that, once we can see it. And, I say it takes courage as for me, most of my life my elders, teachers, those that loved me, and even the Boy scouts we are constantly bombarded with messages about being “prepared”, being like a sentinel looking out for looming problems, bad people, worrying about future things that mostly never come true. Then, we spend an entire adult life on meds, doctor visits, and going to the latest “thought leader” merely spewing what they themselves just read, to unwind all of that negative earlier indoctrination.??

Now, my caveat. Yes, bad things do happen. Yes, you need to be situationally aware, and vigilant, yes you need to be prepared in all aspects of your life. But, it is about the degree, it is about perspective, it is about not overdoing it. It is, as my mother was always ready to launch at me, about “moderation.” This is where the practices of joy and gratefulness reside- moderation/perspective!?

Take for example my daily practice when I wake up.? Every single day I thank you God for the blessing of another day. I ask that He help me to ensure that my thoughts, and words, will always be just in His sight.”??

Why do I say this?? Well, there are many reasons, but it started at a young age. It mostly stems from my recognition of how flawed person I am, and the kind of person I aspire to be. I accept my failures and flaws, and look forward to being as better a person I can be each day.??

As you know, when I was a teenager, I was an EMT. Sirens & Summations is all about a perspective of life gained from these unique vantage points about life that most don’t see, and it is hopefully how to live life to its fullest.?

What I learned riding on an ambulance at 17 years old was about the very real fragility of life. From the patient who miscarried their precious baby, to the older person who suddenly died, or maybe died after years of battling an ugly disease, I was there to see life end from cradle to grave.?

From the teenager friends of mine who were so bloodied and disfigured from a car accident that they were unrecognizable to me and eventually died, to the child who suffers a life ending stupid, unexpected, and sudden injury.??

To the person enjoying a meal in a restaurant who starts choking, to the man, woman, or child who eats something, or is bitten by an insect, who’s breathing is being cut off as they are in anaphylactic (allergic) shock and choke to death.??

To the otherwise healthy person who upon hearing startling news, becomes suicidal and tries to end their life, to the drug, and/or alcohol addicted person whose body is just withering away.?

I have at an early age watched many long-term sick people “wish they were dead.”? They would literally tell us this on calls we went on. Yet, when death became imminent for them, they wanted to fight to live. All that time wishing they were dead, all that negative energy, all that life that was still left, yet sadly underappreciated, and to me squandered at the time it meant the most. Now please, I understand why they felt that way they did, and their despair— but that is not the point.? What is the point is they had a choice how they would define their situation/circumstance. Grateful for what time was left, or not.??

It is always about choice!?

In it all, I learned very well that life is precious, and not guaranteed. It is a gift. It is given to you, you don’t earn it. It can be given, and it can be taken away at any moment. Anyone who rides an ambulance knows this truth very well. And, in that moment your eyes close for the final time, nothing in the past, or concerns about the future, matter in the least!?

This is not macabre. No, it is REAL. In truth, the faster we realize this, the more precious each day and each present moment becomes. Because I know this, each day I awake, I make an effort upon opening my eyes to recognize the gift that a new day has given to me and I did nothing to earn it.??

I am grateful.??

I then set the following intention: “That my words, and actions, “will be just in Your sight”.? This helps me ensure that I realize that what I say, and what I do, has a powerful impact on others, and I should not let my emotions, anger, or bad feelings unleash something I will later regret.? I have to say these things intentionally every day, as I believe we all have a power to deride and harm others not realizing how cutting we can be. It makes me want to serve, rather than be served. And for sure, somedays it works for me, and others not. But, I am holding myself accountable, and using Father Heath’s wisdom on little moments adding up, I try to swap a few more positive contributions from the negative ones each and every day.??

I mention this one little practice among many I employ to show how simple it is to be grateful. You can do it anywhere. Washing up in the bathroom, in the car, kitchen, in a long line at a store. Gratefulness is always available to you. You just have to knock.??

Am I the first one that has seen joy and gratefulness as the way to live a full, powerful, and meaningful life? Am I the first to see joy and gratitude as a warrior spirit that helps us navigate all manner of things in life??

I think not!??

And, that is the point! You can look at the newest “self-help” book if you want. But, these themes from the greats thinkers throughout recorded history have already been done for us. If the themes about life applied then and now, there is a good chance that it is speaking about universal truths about our human nature. The rest, even what I write, is merely repackaging. How it has applied in our lives, however, (like and EMT or trial lawyer) can provide relatable context. And, that is important. This is why it is important to be grateful to the elders that love us, and share their lived experiences.??

The Daily Practice of Seeing?

Epictetus, who began life as a slave and became one of history's greatest teachers on resilience, taught: "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."??

Oh my, we could do a book on this quote. Suffice it to say there will always be people that have “more” (and I hate that term), or less. Comparison is a very ugly perspective and a way straight to the bottom. Run the race you will be proud of at the “end you the day.” The point for this chapter is to be grateful for what you have, even if you aspire to have more.??

The Buddha offered practical wisdom for gratefulness practice: "Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."??

This is the warrior spirit!?

Gratitude as Warrior Training?

General George S. Patton was one of the greatest US Generals, and military leaders in all of human history.???

He understood the tactical importance of gratitude when he said, "For a soldier, gratitude is a virtue that reaches tactical significance. A soldier who harbors gratitude is a soldier who maintains perspective."??

Yes, General!? It is about perspective as I noted above. It is about a mindset that is virtuous, and capable of confronting all manner of obstacles with grace and dignity.???

Admiral James Stockdale, who survived years as a POW in Vietnam, confirmed this truth: "In times of crisis, you're in a better position if you can find something to be grateful for. It gives you a foothold, a place to stand."?

I mention these military heros from many generations to prove a point. Joy and gratitude were “tactical” for them. It was a way of life to overcome enormous trials and tribulations. It allowed them to confront danger, pain, and death in a steady, non-chaotic, and dignified manner. It made them tough and resilient!?

The Art of Perspective?

Viktor Frankl, who found meaning even in the inhumane condition of concentration camps stated: "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."?

Nelson Mandela embodied this wisdom when he said, "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison."?

As a trial lawyer, one who specializes in murder cases, I have witnessed many injustices in the “criminal justice system.” I sometimes have wondered what was worse, assaulting a person physically, or to take the unfair abuse, ridicule, torment of being wrongly accused of a crime, or on the other hand, when I would deal with a family whose loved one was murdered, and I was prosecuting the case and the injustice to them as victims.???

I learned one very interesting thing in all of this. Some were resilient and like Mandela, knew that if they took it with them outside of the courtroom (or jail in his case), they would be forever in a prison of hate and anger. It takes a LOT of perspective and mental power to achieve this, but he was exactly right.?

I would tell every family of a murder case I tried as a prosecutor that what we were doing in court was only part of what in the end will be a very unsatisfying process. Yes, we hope to convict the offender.? But, after that, and the sentence is handed down, and when the court lights are shut off and the case is over, the very real sense of isolation hits when the fight has ended. And, then very reality sets in. That loved one is never coming back.??

Some understood, and sadly moved on with purpose and perspective. Some understandably were unable to do that and it led to addiction, mental health issues, and in some cases, death.??

But, I get it. How do you find joy and gratitude in situations like that. I don’t pose to know, other than I have seen people do it, and it is impressive and inspiring thing to witness!??

Beyond Positive Thinking?

Maya Angelou's instruction to "Be present in all things and thankful for all things" isn't about ignoring difficulties. It's about maintaining the warrior's awareness of life's full spectrum.?

Like Father Heath, find a few minutes to feed and talk to the squirrels. Find the beauty in simple moments. You have to make time to just stop and ask, what can I be grateful for in this very moment. Your emotional well-being, your precious life, and you deserve to develop this life altering perspective.??

As Ralph Waldo Emerson advised: "Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude."?

And lastly, Meister Eckhart's powerful observation: "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is 'thank you,' it will be enough."?

Thank you for your continued support of Sirens & Summations- A Path to a Joyful Life.?

You can click here to catch my TEDx Talk on looking back on life, leaning into the moment and crafting your own meaningful final act↓

Deathbed Confessions by an Emergency Medical Technician! | Robert (Bob) Bianchi | TEDxStGeorgeStudio

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Gratefully,?

Bob Bianchi?