Chapter 2: The Unexpected Path to Holistic Growth

As the year wraps up, I've been stuck on one question: What does it actually mean to grow? Not just at work, not just personally, but as a whole, wonderfully complicated human being.

I'll be honest, I almost didn’t write this. Was it just another box to tick off, or a real moment to reflect? Maybe it’s both. But as I think back on this year, one thing stands out: growth often shows up in the places you least expect.

So, instead of giving you a tidy “top five lessons learned” list, I’m sharing the twists, reminders, and wins that shaped my year. Think of it as a full-system upgrade, messy but meaningful.

The Myth of Neatly Organized Growth

Let’s debunk a myth: growth doesn’t happen in neat, separate categories.

• You take a course and call it professional growth.
• You start jogging and call it physical growth.
• You doodle and call it creative growth.

Life doesn’t work that way. Growth spills over. It’s messy. The best lessons often happen where these so-called categories collide.

This year, I noticed how a work challenge taught me patience that spilled over into my personal life, and even how starting a hobby like painting reignited my creativity at work.?

Growth doesn’t stay in its lane—it’s all connected.

Lessons from Bold Choices

This realization all started several years ago, when I made a decision that baffled my family, especially my African parents. Instead of pursuing my undergraduate degree in Biology to be on the well-trodden path of becoming a doctor, I majored in English. There was no grand plan, just a pull toward creative freedom, provocative texts, and critical thinking.

In hindsight, that decision unlocked potential I didn’t even know I had. Studying English sharpened skills like brainstorming, persuasive communication, and synthesizing ideas—skills that turned out to be the backbone of my success in careers spanning marketing, education, leadership, and consulting. The critical thinking I honed back then still guides me today, whether I’m tackling a complex project or planning to redecorate my office.

The lesson? Sometimes our unconventional choices not only defy our own expectations but also pave the way for growth you couldn’t have predicted. Trusting your instincts might just lead you to a version of yourself you’ll be proud to meet.

The Power of Emotional Energy Management

At the start of 2024, I found myself worn down by three years of remote work. The first two years were a messy struggle to separate home and work life, leaving my health, relationships, and work performance in chaos. Balance felt like an impossible dream.

So, I tried something new: managing my emotional energy instead of compartmentalizing everything. At first, staying calm felt like trying to hold water in my hands. But over time, I learned to let go of what I couldn’t control and focus on what mattered. The demands didn’t disappear, but I learned to tune out the noise. This newfound calm reshaped how I approached boundaries, failures, and relationships.

It turns out, the way you frame a situation can be more powerful than the situation itself. It’s a lesson I’ll carry with me into the new year.

Growth Born of Grief

This year, I faced an unexpected and deeply painful loss. Grief came in like an uninvited guest, reshaping every corner of my life. At first, I resisted—trying to outpace it, ignore it, or find a quick fix. But grief doesn’t work that way. It lingers, teaching you to live with it rather than around it.

In the stillness of mourning, I learned to notice the smallest flickers of light: a kind word from a friend, a memory that brought both tears and a smile, or even the act of getting through another day. These moments didn’t erase the pain, but they gave it context, showing me how beauty and sorrow often coexist.

Grief also forced me to reassess what truly matters. It sharpened my focus on mindfulness and made intentionality a non-negotiable. I leaned into vulnerability, finding strength in being honest about my pain and open to connection. Positivity became less about ignoring hardship and more about embracing small victories, no matter how insignificant they seemed.

This experience pushed me to think deeply about my legacy and the values I want to live by. It was a hard and uninvited teacher, but it reshaped me in ways I’m still discovering. While I’d never wish such loss on anyone, I’m grateful for how it changed me, leaving behind scars that tell my own story of resilience, transformation, and growth.?

The Humble Banana Bread

On a lighter note, let’s talk about my infamous banana bread disaster. Riding high on my cookie-baking success this year, I thought I could improvise—replacing sugar with extra bananas, confident it would work like a charm. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. The result? A dense, inedible brick of a loaf that had all the appeal of a doorstop.

At first, I was frustrated. All those wasted ingredients! But as I stared at the loaf, it hit me: sometimes, it’s okay to stick to the recipe. There’s a reason some guidelines exist. This wasn’t just about baking—it was about life and work too. Humility, I realized, is just as important as creativity. You can have bold ideas, but without a solid foundation or openness to feedback, things can fall apart.

That failed loaf reminded me to balance confidence with collaboration, to ask for input when I need it, and to embrace learning moments—even the messy, banana-scented ones.

Growth is Everywhere—If You Look for It

If there's anything that this year has taught me, it's that growth doesn’t wait for perfect conditions. It thrives in the messy, the mundane, and the unexpected. It’s in the awkward first steps of learning something new, the humbling moments of failure, and the quiet realizations that shift your perspective.

The key is focusing on what matters:

• Am I investing my time in activities that bring me joy or challenge me in the right ways?
• Do my choices align with the person I want to be?

Growth isn’t about grand gestures or flawless plans. It’s about showing up, even when things feel uncertain or imperfect. Maybe it’s joining a workshop that pushes you out of your comfort zone or starting a fitness challenge even if you’re unsure you’ll finish. Any step forward—even a wobbly one—is better than standing still.

And here’s the thing: growth happens whether we notice it or not, and whether we want it or not. The real challenge is finding meaning in the process, spotting those small but significant moments where you’ve stretched just a little further than before. It’s not always glamorous, but it’s always worth it.

Reflecting on Your Year

As we step into a new year, don’t just tally your achievements. Reflect on the moments that shaped you in unexpected ways. Ask yourself:

1. Where did I grow in ways I didn’t anticipate?
2. What moments challenged me to think or act differently?
3. Did I invest energy in what aligns with my values and goals?
4. What habits kept me grounded?
5. How can I approach next year with more curiosity and intention?

Being your own business means investing in every part of yourself—the professional, the creative, the emotional, and everything in between. Here’s to a year of messy, meaningful growth and finding joy in the process. Because in the end, every small moment of growth adds up to a story worth telling.