Chapter 12: Conflict Management.

"He who fights is powerless, but he who loves is power itself.”-Eric Michael Leventhal

I am sure conflict is something all of us have come across at some point of time in our personal or professional lives.

The dictionary meaning of conflict is disagreement, divergent opinion, or difference of opinion. One who manages the conflicts well succeeds and the one who does not know how to manage conflicts fumes with frustration.

Five situations that might cause conflicts are:

1.?? When there is no agreement between two individuals or groups.

2.?? Approaching matters with a preconceived notion or based on incorrect information.

3.?? Not taking into consideration others’ point of view.

4.?? Someone acts against an individual’s wish or one’s ego is hurt.

5.?? Fear of failure/insecurity.

To manage the conflicts better, give time for introspection.? Once you start analysing a situation you will start gaining more knowledge on the subject. This helps you to deal with the situation better. If any two individuals develop their own conflicting viewpoints on a particular subject, it can be an endless conflicting situation. At least if one of them starts the process of introspection, it is most likely that the conflict might get resolved.

I remember attending the office to clear backlog work during weekend. On the following Monday I updated the same to my boss. On the contrary to my expectation, instead of appreciating the work,?he started questioning me as to who gave you me permission to come to office during weekend. Why he was not kept informed earlier and not taken (the) prior permission. For a moment I was taken aback with the response that I got from him. This is a crisis point and there are chances of one getting frustrated. My disappointment paved way for introspection which prompted me to understand my boss better. He was highly qualified and a person with exceptional academic records. He diligently noted down things to be done, listens to others’ opinion and was approachable to employees. At the same time, he was lacking in communication, planning and execution skills. This is the inherent reason he reacted in the way he did.? The very first instance he observed progress of work with my involvement itself disturbed him. Such a situation called for a deviation from my part, hence I decided to go for a consultative approach.? ?Both of us planed together what needed to be done, divided the work and accomplished them to the management’s expectations.? This enhanced our visibility among the management, and they started observing progress in various directions. After about three months, we became incredibly good friends. We both worked together for five years and our contribution to the department is remembered even as of today in that organization.

The relationship with this manager started with a conflicting situation and if I did not analyse the situation, I would have left the job and would not have worked for 5-year term and the reputation that I earned. Analysing the situation helped me to get into more details and a clear understanding of?the requirements. Winning the confidence of boss and working together did the rest of the magic.

The five steps recommended for finding quick resolution to conflicts are:

1.?? Understand the problem situation

2.?? Think through what might go wrong

3.?? Take time to plan and strategize

4.?? Create positive working relationship

5.?? Be flexible

?“Get into balcony and view of the issue on hand holistically.”-William Ury

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