Chapter 11: Extroverts, please stop talking!

As an extrovert, it's easy to take up space. Especially when there is an awkward silence.

I say this as an extreme extrovert myself, that you need to give space and silence for your introverted colleagues.

Over the years, I've learned a lot from having one on one conversations with introverts or even ambiverts.

The misconception is that introverts don't have anything to add or are shy to speak up, however that isn't always true.

Introverts will talk when they're given the space, but as extroverts we tend to speak for others whether that's intentional or unintentional.

I've also asked introverts many times how extroverts could better partner with them. Here are a few things they've shared.

• If you're going into a meeting, share the agenda. Ambiguity and mystery aren't your friends when it comes to building relationships with introverts
• In meetings and conversations, ask them if they'd like to add anything. Your introverted colleagues might not feel comfortable with you talking all the time. Asking them for their opinion gives them the space to talk. (Please ensure that you have gotten their permission before to be asked)
• Give them space to provide feedback and thoughts outside of the meetings because not all introverts are comfortable speaking in front of a bunch of people.
• If you don't know the introvert, don't call them out in front of a large group of people they don't know.
• If they're your stakeholder, ask them what frequency of check-in is comfortable for them. Just because you're comfortable weekly, doesn't mean they are too.
• Don't push them to do things. If they say no, don't pressure them further.
• In one on one conversations, ask questions more than you answer them.

Finally, not all silence is uncomfortable, it might be uncomfortable for us as an extrovert but doesn't mean it's uncomfortable for everyone. There is sometimes beauty in silence.

Until next time,

Stay Caffeinated