Chapter 1: Me — Vanessa Asell Tsuruga

It was the end of October 2020, and I was trying to declutter my many me’s. A year when the inner symbiosis got shaken up, I figured that listing and defining my roles — and responsibilities! — could help decipher who I was as a person. Who I wanted to be.

Read the full Letter from the author here.

Each chapter has six segments:

Meaning: Definition of role?

Map: So wait, how did I get here?

Milestone: The enablers that made it possible?

Magic: Highlight moments

Missing: Challenges, regrets, and missed opportunities

More: What is still to come

Meaning?

a journal writing mother of three who got her name from a butterfly whose flight path includes Stockholm, Barcelona, London, Tokyo, Kobe, and Olympia

Map

From afar, life’s GPS mapping might look like a big blob of intricate red lines. But if we really think about it, each step in each direction was linear at the time it happened. I’m about to describe my flight path from the beginning in Malm?, Sweden, in the late 1970s, to my present house in Tokyo. The destinations that got me to where I am today.?

Before my first birthday, my parents and I left the apartment on Kornettgatan street in the city of Malm?, located in the province of Sk?ne in the very south of Sweden sometimes referred to as Scania County. We moved to Vellinge, twenty minutes away by car and that’s where I learned to speak. My parents tell me tractor was my first word — pronounced schlako — indicating the views from my window. Farmland. I didn’t live in Sk?ne long enough to pick up the distinguishing accent where the letter R is a so-called uvular trill, where the uvula at the back of the mouth vibrates.

When my father got a new job with Astra closer to the Swedish capital, we all moved to Mariefred, a small town with semi-detached houses running down the entire road. We lived on Hammarv?gen road, and Julia next door was my best friend. On the other side lived identical twins. A big forest behind our house was my playground.

I was six when we moved to Danderyd, the most affluent county in Sweden. An eight-kilometer ride from Stockholm, this seaside suburbia enjoyed big lawns, upmarket property, and families who left for executive jobs abroad.?

Little did we know that in 1992, we would leave Sweden too. My father accepted a? job with Kabi Pharmacia and we moved to Barcelona. I was 13, my sister Charlotta ten. I often snuck up on the roof terrace of Benjamin Franklin International School, watching out over the city. I would pinch my arm and think to myself, wow I live here.?

While the good times were good, the hard times were hard. Arriving fresh from Sweden at the cusp of puberty, my biggest fear was to be called up to the front of the classroom to point out some obscure state on the US map. It never happened. My physical education teacher Mr. Chris — whom I will talk about in a future chapter — came to my rescue when I was feeling f-ing iffy about our move to Barcelona. He gave me a Frisbee and we started going to the beach in Castelldefels or Sitges on weekends, meeting at track five at Sants Estació. 11 AM. Sports blew good energy into my life.?

I knew that I wanted to be a journalist and our college counselor and math teacher, Mrs. Geier — bless her soul — helped me pen my applications for universities in London. The media capital of the world, both notorious and respected, was where I wanted to learn. City University accepted me after a few gruesome assignments got me from a conditional to unconditional offer.?

While in London, my father transferred from Barcelona to Tokyo. I took a gap year to get work experience at The Japan Times and to do freelance work. It was my first touchdown in the country I had been soulfully connected to via my many Japanese friends at my international school in Barcelona.?

I returned to London for my final year and graduated from City University, soon to make the journey back east again to Tokyo. After three years as a freelance journalist working for the BBC World Service and local publications, I found myself at the crossroads. Always working with an interpreter and / or translator in Japan, I sensed that I was not fully telling the real story of the Japanese. How could I honestly, authentically and truthfully convey their stories if I wasn’t getting the full picture myself? Two options lay ahead, and a compromise was not possible: Learn Japanese and stay in Japan OR take my journalism dream to a place where I could communicate in English.?

Japan felt undone, my stay there was not yet complete. I opted for the former and was accepted into the 18-month European Union Executive Training Program, ETP. The six month internship with Japanese companies took me to the Kansai region, a three hour Shinkansen ride west of Tokyo. In Kobe, I scored a marketing role as the first Westerner at ASICS Corporation global headquarters and I stayed in this port city until I got transferred to my home country Sweden to work on the ASICS Stockholm Marathon.?

Back home after 20 years abroad was better than I had feared. There was little reverse culture shock simply because I had been away for so long. My Japanese husband and I were strangers all the same.?

Employees in Sweden benefit from liberal labor laws and I took leave of absence to get my Master’s Degree in Olympic Studies at the International Olympic Academy in Greece. More depth about this dream coming true in the Master’s degree holder chapter.?

An accomplished dream gives birth to new dreams and one year after completing my master thesis, I moved my whole family — now three kids — back to Kobe, Japan. I was looking forward to a job working on the Tokyo 2020 Olympics but when my high expectations failed to meet reality I accepted a job offer with Japanese tech giant Rakuten in Tokyo and moved my whole family once again.?????

?

Milestone

In the journey to become me — Vanessa, the one I am today — I trace it all back to January 4, 1992. Parked at the bottom of our driveway and my best friend waving goodbye, we were soon headed to the airport. But this time our bags would be unpacked in Spain. I was 13, a seventh grader, moving to Barcelona. It unlocked a whole new world and the Swedish svenska in me soon turned into an international Swede. It propelled me into more than 20 years abroad. Barcelona was the stepping stone. The springboard. The beginning.?

At times, a very hard such beginning. The move was by no means easy — at thirteen, the world is messed up as it is. Add to that an international move into an academically demanding American curriculum, a three hour flight from what used to be home. You have no friends and you feel like you can’t make any because you don’t speak the language.?

In class I stayed pretty much quiet from January to May but I got my writing assignments done flawlessly for someone new to English language education. I did not want to speak because I was afraid of making mistakes. By the summer of 1992 — six months into our new life and back in Sweden for the first time — I told an old lady friend that I planned to graduate from high school in Barcelona. That is exactly what happened — five years later.?

What helped my teenage me when life wasn’t all that merry??

Time and time again I circle back to my P.E. teacher Mr. Chris. He took me and my sister under his wing by lending us a Frisbee which I accidentally threw into thorny bushes while hiking in Matadepera our second weekend into our move.

“Just get me a bocadillo,” he said Monday morning when I told him about it after much anguish. We bonded and enjoyed the first of many bocadillo moments: A baguette cut laterally, with half a tomato squeezed across making the bread all soggy, with olive oil, cheese, jamón serrano, and lettuce.?

Through Ultimate Frisbee and volleyball games until 7 PM weekdays except Wednesdays because of the faculty meeting, life picked up some great spin. Plus most weekends in Castelldefels or Sitges.

Another key influencer in Barcelona was Mr. Maga?a, my high school art teacher. We connected soulfully and still speak today a few times a week. He had a crew of students hanging out in his classroom. It was a space of freedom and creativity where we all bonded simply because our personalities were in sync.?

Life as a teenager — in a new country, at a new school, and when lost in general — was hard. But it also turned into the life milestone I am the most grateful for. For the record, thank you Barcelona. You made me who I am today.

Magic

I count four and a half-ish decades. What a privilege to declutter my sensual overload for a moment and ask myself; what was the most magical moment up until now?

When I scope the myriad of occurrences over the past 17,000 days, I see the human trace running through it all. Magic stems from people connecting with each other and all these intersections add up to who I am today. I am the sum of all parts. People nurtured me.

Back to magic. What do I want to convey in this passage? What enabled me to accomplish a dream, more than anything? Who encouraged me, when I needed it the most?

Is it the Spaniard Jose Posada who told me about a European Union sponsored program which likely extended my stay in Japan? Possibly my friend Nishida-san who granted access to the Kansai region, which led to 12 years with ASICS and a return back to my own country to work the Stockholm Marathon? Another one high up there is Erik Nystedt who offered me that exact job.

Maj Lorents — war correspondent, author, and English to Swedish translator of Gone with the Wind — told me “Vanessa you have to write.” The unconditional offer to study journalism at City University came after professor Richard Keeble’s greenlight. But before that, the father of my great friend Louise, Fredrik Croneborg, had looked me straight into my eyes and rhetorically asked why education was so important.

“It opens more possibilities.”

After some thinking, I have concluded that the magic and the milestone are close knit. My move to Barcelona was a milestone. Who enabled that? My father, the mover who shook up my family, worked hard to make it happen and in doing so became a role model. Twenty years later I followed in his footsteps when I moved my family of three — Melvin was nine months old — from Japan to Sweden. Being the active mover of a family comes with responsibility. You feel accountable for anything that happens afterwards since you enabled the move. In the Mover chapter I speak more about this.

Let me circle back one more time to that one magical moment — a milestone — January 4, 1992. It was a Saturday and we moved to Barcelona, a life changing endeavor enabled by my father.?

Missing

Pinpointing what is missing in life requires some soul searching. Humans master the art of complaining but figuring out what can complete it is a biggie.

The first thought to cross my mind is that native Japanese language skills could make my profile complete. Over the years I have packed up a cool career but the fact that I do not speak perfect Japanese excludes me from jobs in Japan. While companies aim to globalize by bringing in a foreign workforce, they often require a native level for consumer and client facing dialog — oral and written.

Second, I wish my readership was big and loyal enough that I could pivot into doing more writing. Full time. Catch 22. When will I dare to be just a writer, given that I am the family moneymaker? Would I be ready to relinquish my position at the helm? Read further about my fears in upcoming Moneymaker and Mover chapters.

Third out — and because all good things come in threes — I wish I had more confidence speaking languages when my skills are weaker than the person I’m speaking with. I tend to let the counterpart choose the language. I need to change the settings in my brain.?

Finally I nailed it: What’s missing are my stories, in a complete book. A gap I am filling, word by word. Right now, writing. Now, now, now. Words.

For almost 20 years I have enjoyed a privileged sports career on the brand side where business was good. During my time with ASICS in Stockholm, the Scandinavian region contributed the biggest revenue share into the European headquarter. Running was booming. I worked as a sports marketing executive with a mission of giving the right product to the right athlete at the right time. My Santa Claus alter ego worked hard all year round. I internalized the giving, and it became part of who I was. I empathized with children and teenagers who mailed me about their athlete dreams, and sometimes I sent them promotional products we had around.?

My job took me around the world. We filmed moving stories of great athletes in the eight-episode documentary Beyond Champions that aired on Discovery Japan and Eurosport. In 2018, I moved on to my current job at Rakuten — activating FC Barcelona, Davis Cup, NBA, the Golden State Warriors, and Stephen Curry in the digital space through storytelling.?

I have enjoyed an enormous privilege working with the strongest sports brands and clubs on the planet. I have traveled for business to almost 20 countries:?

Australia: Sydney

Brazil: Rio de Janeiro

Denmark: Copenhagen

Finland: Helsinki, Myrskyl?

France: Paris, Chamonix

Germany: Berlin

Holland: Amsterdam

Italy: Milan

Japan: Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, Wakayama, Tottori?

Malaysia: Kuala Lumpur

Norway: Oslo

Philippines: Manila

South Africa: Cape Town, Stellenbosch

Spain: Barcelona, Madrid, Valencia

Sweden: Stockholm, G?teborg, Malm?, T?by, Mora, R?ttvik

Switzerland: Basel, Zurich, Geneva

UK: London

USA: New York, Miami, Atlanta, Portland, San Francisco

By writing this book, I hope others will find similar satisfaction — and stories! Get on that journey, with or without a packed suitcase. Move where you are headed mentally — and last, but not least — bon voyage. Enjoy the ride and send us a postcard!

More

Once I pinpointed what was missing, moving from there was easy. I set out to write Moneymaker mover mother me.

With a debut novel already in the books — F?rg?tmigej f?r alltid, self published on International Women’s Day 2020 — I released the English translation Forget-me-not Forever seven months later. Sweden-based translator duo Maja Svensson and Dave Odegard and I worked in tandem with weekly Tokyo-H?ssleholm Zoom calls and Google drive documents.?

Debut novel released, check. English translation, check. Award, not yet. Book deal, crossing my fingers still. Prepayment on sequel, nope. Audiobook, scoping. Japanese translation was in the roadmap but no longer. Portuguese translation, had an inkling it could happen but the conversation faded. Podcast, check! I was on the Kobo Writing Life podcast released October 28, 2020. Covered by a newspaper, check. Norra Sk?ne newspaper in Sweden wrote about the release. 500 copies sold, inching ahead. Clean up my Instagram, check. (But inactive as of now). Physical book, done by Christmas 2020.?

While Moneymaker mover mother me is autobiographical, structured and originally written in English, it benefits from all the mistakes I made with my first book.

One question on the Kobo Writing Life podcast was about language and prose. I answered that my prose came most naturally in my mother tongue but English is more freeflow when writing my own story. The topic highly impacts the language of comfort, which explains why it was challenging to describe my career and work at Rakuten in Swedish on the Japanpodden podcast in February 2020. Words come easier in the language spoken while doing what you are describing. I mean seriously — storytelling, is there even a word for that in Swedish?

Returning to the essence of more: I listened to advice from a colleague at Kobo that “as a self publishing author, your biggest advantage against the establishment is that you can experiment.” That is me, right now. One letter at a time, Moneymaker mover mother me is a stepping stone toward doing more writing.

Trying will never get me there.?

Making it happen will make it happen.

To be continued.?

Once the conversation spreads beyond the words you are now reading, positivity and empathy are key. BE KIND. Bring value and relevance to the discussions. Be helpful. Encourage one another. Highlight trends. Share case studies, resources, and your network.

Together, let’s #TalkAboutGoingPlaces.

I’ll be bringing you new chapters regularly.

Until soon,

Vanessa ?sell Tsuruga

About me:

I am the founder of COLLECTIVE VISIBILITY. We diversify speakers and thought leaders in sport by creating a speaker directory of women in sport. We are a global talent movement in partnership with Center for Sports and Business at the Stockholm School of Economics.

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