Changing the "What ifs"

It occurred to me what a valuable lesson LinkedIn has taught me, or more specifically my taking a chance and writing articles on here has.

When I first thought about writing on here, my mind said "What if no-one reads them?"; "What if someone reads an article and takes it the wrong way?"; "What if I get criticized?"; "What if they are not good enough?"; What if ... what if .. what if ... I was driving myself crazy, until I took the plunge and just went for it.

I want to share with you some of the amazing things that have happened since I started re-framing the what ifs to more positive ones: "what if one of my articles helped someone?", "what if an article makes someone's day?", "what if writing before work motivated me to be more passionate at work?", "what if the joy of writing could be experienced every single day?" and took the risk.

One of my articles last year was noticed by my Leader at work, shared with his leader and, in turn, shared with his Leader. I dare to say that this was a contributing factor to me being lucky enough to be chosen to send to a Convention in New Zealand. I had already been nominated for my Customer Service; however, I think this article contributed to the final choice. I could be wrong. All I know is I was lucky enough to go - the first time I have ever been able to use a passport I have held for over 20 years and the opportunity to visit somewhere that I never would have been able to afford to visit. I met amazing people, saw some beautiful places and am forever grateful.

Now you're talking about a girl who has had a passion for writing for some years but never really believed in herself. I've often been known to say "I do not consider myself a writer, I merely scribble from my heart". I have been humbled at the responses to my articles, some of them resonating with more people than others and to say I have been amazed at the outpouring of comments and gratitude doesn't even come close! Thank you to all those that have read my articles and left their thoughts, it is appreciated far more than you would ever know.

I have had people email me and ask me to help them get started with writing, to give advice and to mentor them; can you even begin to imagine the shock I felt to be asked? To be considered even worthy of such a request?

Others have emailed me and asked for my help in how to become a better Customer Service provider or Sales provider; again extremely humbling for a girl that throws herself into everything she does but has never considered herself an expert, merely a passionate, life experienced individual.

And then there are the emails of thanks - so very special and so heartwarming to know, if even in a very small way, you have given another hope, encouragement or your words have resonated with them and they now feel that they are not alone in their thoughts or experiences or fears. What a gift that is to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The lesson for me has been to throw away the "what ifs" I have been guilty of constantly telling myself, or at least change them. For example, instead of "what if they don't like me?" with "what if they see the value I could add?" and "what if they think I'm too old?" with "what if they see all the benefits of my years of experience and diversity?", "what if they feel I do not have the qualifications/experience?" with "what if they see my true potential?".

So, do you think you would be more willing to take risks if you started seeing all the positives about yourself, valued them, put them out there for the world to see and waited patiently for the right person/people/company to notice? Maybe they will, maybe they won't but the worst thing that can happen is you grow as a person.

Let's place our focus on all those good things about ourselves instead of continuously questioning whether we are good enough, young enough, old enough, experienced enough, creative enough and all the other "enoughs" our minds can come up with. "What if" we embraced that we are enough!?! Just as we are.

And I do not mean that we stop developing ourselves, expanding our minds, reaching higher and continue to grow on a daily basis. I don't know about you, but I definitely need and want to be doing this - always! I simply mean that we might be pretty okay as we are too and should embrace that.

I couldn't help but laugh to myself - old habits die hard. As I was writing this piece, I received a phone call and was making arrangements to go on a first date. I heard myself say "what if he doesn't like me?" "what if he thinks I have too many wrinkles?" "what if I'm not fit enough for him?" Get a grip Dianne!! ha ha ha

Instantly I forced myself to change this to "what if he is the right one for me?", "what if we have a great time?", "what if he is everything he seems to be so far?" Which set of what ifs make me feel better? The latter of course.

Be kind to yourself and change the "what ifs" - happy Friday all :)

(c) Dianne Traynor 3 May 2019