Changing the ways we connect

I wanted to say a few words about Covid-19 from a behavioral science perspective.

There are many knowns and unknowns about the virus, and some of the unknowns can be controlled by adopting a few behaviors. But the hard part is the behaviors run counter to our habits and our very nature. It is not easy to distance ourselves socially.  I was up meeting a contractor yesterday, and he went to shake my hand. I put my hands behind my back, stepped back to interrupt his automatic behavior. Even elbow bumps are too close for comfort, according to the head of the World Health Organization. Handshaking is a habit, a deep pattern, and one that needs breaking for a while.

A few years ago, refusing a handshake would have been the ultimate social snub, but now it's becoming a matter of life and death. How many handshake rituals have you participated in, in your lifetime? I'm guessing multiple thousands. It is a deeply ingrained behavior in most cultures. Most are unaware that we exchange energy when we shake hands. When much of communication is taking place, nonverbally, the handshake ritual is a way to build rapport. We, of course, physically connect, and ultimately it is a conduit for exchanging viruses. 

And yes, I said ritual. The handshake is a common custom found everywhere. One theory on the handshake's origin is that it began as a gesture of peace. Grasping hands proved you were not holding a weapon. Throughout the ancient world, the handshake appears on vases, stories and stone slabs.

Instead of shaking a hand or even bumping elbows, look someone in the eyes. Look and really connect is one way to greet someone. Maybe add a wave and a smile.   Not every culture shakes hands, and it is worth noting that the showing of hands in one form or another still takes place. Many of the plains nation tribes, like the Lakota, would raise one hand while greeting others. Yes, this was a stereotype in old westerns, yet the greeting of another, from a distance, did exist. You can also Namaste, which is accompanied by placing one's palms together, fingers pointed upwards, and drawing the hands to the heart as a way of connecting. This ritual has a deep meaning, which is to acknowledge that the divinity in me honors and sees the divinity in you.

We have many examples of rituals that don't involve touching someone. Just bringing your hand to your heart is a way to signify a connection with another. Find what works for you and work to achieve the same level of connection via non-contact means, whether that's a friendly smile or even just the nod of the head. Building your new habits, as you stay connected, can be one thing you can do to control the speed and danger of this particular virus.