Changing Perspectives To Boost Collaboration

It’s no secret that I dislike the expression ‘negotiating against’. It runs counter to my belief that negotiations aren’t adversarial, but collaborative – and that in addition to a deal, you’re also building a relationship.

That’s why I try to avoid the ‘classic’ adversarial seating arrangement when I’m meeting with a counterpart.

You know the one: facing each other directly, across a rather large expanse of desk or conference table. Everything about it screams ‘uptight!’ ‘I’m trying to win!’ and ‘I don’t like you!’. So basically, the exact opposite of the messages you want to be sending out into the universe during a negotiation.

There are options though, and they do wonders when it comes to promoting collaboration, adding a personal connection and avoiding conflict or impasses during your discussions. Here are my three favourite arrangements – for beginner, intermediate and advanced negotiators.

BEGINNER

Whether you’re new to negotiations, or have just met your counterparts, it’s usually best to stick with the classic arrangement, but with a few slight tweaks to dial down the competitive vibe.

• If you’re two, sit diagonally from each other. There’s less pressure for intense direct eye contact that way (think of it like a first date…meeting for coffee and having to look right at each other the whole time is a bit intimidating, this will give both of you some visual freedom)
• Pick a smaller table. You should be able to reach across and join hands with the other person. This helps collaboration by making it easier to share documents, or a notepad that you’re scribbling ideas on.

• If you’re more than 2, try having your colleague swivel their chair in to face you, rather than directly at your counterpart. This helps to remove the intensity of having 2 sets of eyes on them, making them more relaxed.

Pro Tip: when you’re in this arrangement, your counterparts have have sensitive data up on their computer screens. Be aware of this when moving around the room or crossing over to ‘their side’ - you don’t want to give the impression that you’re sneaking a peek!

INTERMEDIATE

You’re pretty comfortable in your negotiation, and your relationship with the counterpart is strong. Your pre-meeting small talk isn’t just the usually textbook stuff, and you’ve both bought into the negotiation being a collaborative effort.

• Whether you’re two or more, sit kitty-corner to one another. This allows for privacy and the maintenance of personal comfort zones, but sends a strong message about working together.

• Keep a note pad in between your seats to capture your shared brainstorming and drafting ideas. With this technique, you’ll be on the same page – literally.
• This arrangement works well when you’re using a projector for either presentations or live drafting. No one is craning their head at a funny angle, and you can both view the screen and interact with one another simultaneously.

Pro Tip: If you’re more than two, you can put the team members who aren’t as familiar with one another on the outer ends of the table. Alternately, as the topic of discussion moves through different areas of expertise, the team members with the most knowledge can move towards the corner for their focused discussion.

ADVANCED

Oh boy. This is one is serious business. Not for the faint of heart, or the new relationships. That said, if you’re trying to move through an impasse or hash out the final aspects of your deal, this is the way to go.

• If you’re two, you’re sitting side by side. Think of the distance between as being the same as at a comfortable dining table. (i.e. you can cut your steak without elbowing the other person in the side)

• If you’re more than two, reverse the seating arrangement on the other side of the table. This shows that you’re close to your counterpart, and that you and your colleague are on the same page – so much so that you’re comfortable being physically separated.
• Don’t be afraid to shield some of your information. Just because you’re in full collaboration mode doesn’t mean you have to reveal all. A file folder discretely placed on an empty chair next to you can be a good way to keep your reference notes private. Or, make use of scheduled breaks in the discussion to brush up on your facts and strategy before getting back to it.

Pro Tip: after hours of negotiations in this format, make sure to mix it up when it comes time for lunch or dinner. Switch ‘partners’ and sit next to a different member of your counterpart’s team so that you can build additional relationships. Or, if you’re two, sit facing each other during the meal, rather than side-by-side at the counter.

Where do you fall on the beginner-intermediate-advanced spectrum? What’s your comfort zone…and when was the last time you pushed those limits? Have a great story of how changing perspectives helped increase collaboration?

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Devon Smiley is a Negotiation Consultant & Speaker for entrepreneurs, startups and corporates. With 15 years of experience and over $5billion in deals closed, she helps clients around the world shake off ineffective negotiation techniques and habits and embrace a creative, collaborative approach to getting their best deals yet.

To learn more about how Devon can help you and your team build their negotiation skills, get in touch at [email protected] or here on LinkedIn.