Changing Habits: Why is It So Difficult?

We all have habits—some good, some bad—that guide our daily behaviors. While habits can save us time and mental energy by locking in routine behaviors, they can also be adamant to change when we want to. I recently came across compelling insights into why changing habitual behaviors can be challenging.

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Psychologist Dr. Benjamin Gardner explains that habits form through repeated, rewarding experiences in the presence of triggers or cues. For example, if we find that biting our nails helps relieve stress, we start habitually biting them whenever we feel stressed. The more we repeat this behavior, the more ingrained the habit becomes.

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So, what does this mean when we try to kick bad habits? Firstly, we need to identify our habit cues or triggers - like work stress prompting retail therapy shopping trips for me. We also should note the (often temporary) rewards driving our habit - like the thrill of buying something new. Even if we rationally understand the downsides of our habit, these rewards make change tough by keeping our habitual behavior rewarding.

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Furthermore, Gardner notes that "good" replacement habits often don't provide the same immediately gratifying rewards. It's always tempting to choose an instantly rewarding option (have a cigarette) over a long-term one (don't smoke), making habits aligned with short-term rewards particularly stubborn.

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The key takeaway? Lasting habit change requires vigilance - spotting cues arising for entrenched habits, denying instinctive responses by that initial rewarding behavior, and consciously choosing to pursue longer-term gains from "good" habits. It's tough but understanding why changing habits is hard puts us one step closer to success.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with making positive habit changes stick. Feel free to reply to share them!