Choosing to Own Our Future

The idea of planning for the future was daunting.

So much so I didn't even apply to college. Yep. As embarrassing as it is to say, my parents filled out the application. Looking back, it was never the idea that I couldn't figure out how to win in college. But how is a kid supposed to answer the question, "What do you want to do for the rest of your life?" I felt trapped.

Yet, somehow my application found the Milwaukee School of Engineering (MSOE). Mechanical engineering sounded interesting I guess, so I enrolled.

But during my first year, frustration kicked in. I was working with no purpose, no direction. My grades were C's across the board and I spent many hours in my dorm playing video games. Yeah I was a kid, but I wasn't productive whatsoever. By the weekend, I would go out, party and do what college kids were "supposed" to do. Zero time-management skills and finances were falling apart. I didn't even know how I was going to pay for school the next year.

This was my wakeup call. As frustrating as it was, I needed it. But I began to realize college was only ~7% of my life (nerdy, I know...). BUT it did not have to be the best years of my life like my peers and society told me.

Something needed to change. As I got around other high performers, picked the brains of others, I kept hearing this idea of "ownership." Ownership is taking control of what you can control. Specifically in your work ethic, time-management, attitude, integrity and accountability. But for me, my gap was time-management and effort. We all get the same 24 hours. How come Elon Musk can grow several companies in the same 24 hours and others can barely get laundry done? Are we just lazy? Is Elon that good and effective? I learned quickly there are 3 main ways we can use time. Waste it, spend it, or invest it. I had one a lot of wasting.

"Ownership is taking control of what you can control."

So I flipped the script on my time. Started to hustle more to better my finances, invest heavily in my personal development, and remove activities that weren't adding value to my life. If something didn't align with my long term goals I didn't do it. I did not wait to make changes, however it takes time and patience for results to begin to show. But a few years later, and I've radically shifted the direction of my life.

My wife Sam and I are proud to say we 100% supported ourselves financially from that point forward through undergrad. We worked 20 hours a week in our internships, 60-70 hours of schoolwork each week, and multiple side hustles during our undergrad years, it was a crazy schedule to handle. But we wanted to be real with ourselves now so we can create the future we wanted sooner rather than later.

Here are some things we learned along the way.

1) How You Want to Live vs. What Do You Want to Do

Early in undergrad, a mentor of mine asked me "How do you want to live?" instead of "What do you want to do?" Talk about a pivoting moment... It's much easier make short term decisions and handle the day to day tasks necessary to move you in the right direction when you know where you are going. Instead of trying to find passion in WHAT I was doing daily, I began finding more passion in WHERE I was going long term. For example, is engineering school. No one loves lab reports and final exams, but everyone likes the diploma they get after 4 years. Make big, ambitious goals for yourself now and put them right in front of yourself everyday.

2) Seek Guidance & New Influence

Guidance must not only come from someone who cares for you, but from someone who actually have accomplished what you want. For a long time, I forgot to check if those people had done what I wanted to accomplish. Instead I began to seek guidance from people outside my sphere of influence. DISCLAIMER: This is not a normal thing to do in society. Don't expect loved ones to understand why you look to someone else for advice.

You may have heard the saying "We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with." As cliché as that statement is, there is some truth behind it. Those 5 people for me were great people. Honestly I love these people dearly! But they didn't live by the same core values, nor did they want a similar future for themselves. So I changed my inner circle to 5-10 close friends who TRULY supported me. People who told me what I needed to hear instead of what I wanted to hear. The person I am on the path to becoming is directly tied to these relationships. Changing this is by far the hardest change to make, but also the most impactful.

"People who told me what I need to hear instead of what I wanted to hear."

3) Own Your Calendar

We all have the same 24 hours and how we spend them is up to us. With all the things Sam and I had going on we easily lost track of the small things. Have you heard someone say "you need to put 100% into everything you do."? We believe this is total BS. If it were, I would have spent all 24 hours of my day on school, work, or our marriage. It's impossible to put 100% into everything we do. But we do need to be as focused as possible on what your doing within a finite window of time.

We changed this mindset and began to budgeting our time. Yes, I said time. During our 2nd year we more than doubled the hours we worked while our schoolwork got tougher. Our peers kept asking us how we handled school, work and our relationship. We had less time to work on school, but were way more focused in small increments. The crazy part? Our grades steadily improved as coursework got tougher. Why? We became more effective. Today we schedule 80%-90% of our days out, so we can habitually go through our day not wasting mental energy deciding "what's next." Make a calendar today and focus on the blocks of time less than 2 hours. These are critical.

4) Grow Your Capacity

Give yourself some credit. Too often I sat back and said, "I need a break" or "You can't handle this." You are capable of way more than you realize. Decide for one week to lay it all out there. 100% off your effort every single day. Your perspective changes drastically. Looking back at this it's easy to laugh at how weak sauce my work ethic was. The beautiful thing is capacity is a muscle you can work out and grow over time. Trust me, you will surprise yourself.

"You are capable of way more than you realize."

You have to have grit and not quit. No matter what, I will figure out a way to get the job done. Let it be an all-nighter or getting up at 3 AM. Put feelings aside because success didn't care how we feel. Success cares about the work and preparation we put in. One of my favorite studies, Kobe, showed this to be true when by consistently showing up HOURS before tip-off to outwork his opponent. That Mamba Mentality is something we all can use to grow our capacity. Make the commitment to go all out for one week. Then do it again.

One thing that should not be understated is your why. You need a strong reason to make these positive changes, because it isn't always easy. Early on my why was weak sauce. Very surface level. My motivation was to make a lot of money and to be respected. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but that was surface level and didn't drive me. Since then I've shifted to think in terms of impact and purpose. Between Sam and my 4 younger brothers, I've found more reasons why I should set an example and push to reach my goals. Family is at the root of our life.

How did these changes affect our life? (Updated June 2024, 4+ years)

• Developed much healthier and stronger family relationships. (2019)
• Built friendships with common values and goals. (2019)
• Paid for living expenses and remaining tuition out of pocket. (2020)
• Built a healthy savings, paid for our wedding in cash. (2020)
• Scaled to six figures in side hustle revenue. (2021)
• Increased our corporate salaries by >30%. (2021)
• Paid off $102K of student loan debt in 24mo. (2022)
• Scaled to multiple 5 figures in side venture income. (2023)
• Reinvested in health, lost 25lbs and got back in shape. (2023-2024)

I truly believe anyone can make these types of changes. Sam and I aren't special people, we've just chose to make decisions that others weren't willing to make backed up with strong work ethic. Not everyone comes from the same life situation, but do have a choice to respond in a productive manor.

I'd recommend sitting down and writing your goals. Then write a list of people you think have accomplished those goals. Dial in on the goals you believe in your heart and values you need to pursue. Start tomorrow. Make connections with that list of people. Learn and begin making the necessary changes to move your life forward. It will not be easy I promise you, but it will be worth every ounce of effort and energy it requires.

Hopefully our journey helps you on yours!

Godspeed. ????

-Devyn & Sam Zillmer

Follow us as we share our journey, MoreThan.