Changing the Course of Your Life

Gentlemen…There has been no other time where our world needed men more… and wanted men less.

Let me say that again… Never have we been needed more and wanted less.

I heard this quote two months ago and I still can’t stop thinking about it. I mean it’s true. It lights me up as much as it inspires me to do…to be more.

I believe our primary call as men is to show up and in a lot of ways…we aren’t. Whatever it is we are doing, wherever we are in our lives…as men we need to show up…

• To be more supportive and equal partners.
• To be more present with friends and family.?
• To speak up when others won’t or when it’s uncomfortable and the right thing to do.

We’re called to show up and we don’t…and the places we are showing up… are on the wrong lists and in the wrong conversations.

Here I am a minute in, I’ve probably sparked a flood of thoughts or even some unsettled feelings among you. That’s good. The purpose tonight is to penetrate our hearts and think about where we are in our own lives.

I think there are two reasons why we don’t fully show up.

1. The first is the fear of the unknown. That’s human nature and if we had the perfect answer, we’d be on the NYT best sellers list or have a TEDx clip that blew up the internet.
2. The second reason we don’t show up, in my opinion, is one in which we have total control over. We need to change the course of our life. We need to course correct.

As a former navigator in the military and retired backpacking guide. I love the imagery of navigation…For a search and rescue mission we have to set waypoints to ensure we are on the right course. In the back country, we use blazes on trees to ensure we’re not lost and still making progress.

For me, the biggest change of course happened when my brother died. He was ten years older than me. I was about 26 years old when he died. After a week of thinking he had a cold, he took a nap and never woke up. Later, we learned he died of a heart attack.

Heart disease runs in our family, and I knew that. All the men on my dad’s side of the family have it. It was at the passing of my brother I realized I have to get on a different path…I need to change my course to ensure I do my part to be the happiest and healthiest version of myself. Not just for me, but for my family I hoped I’d one day have.

I did two things after he died. I made the commitment that by the time I turned 35 I’d go see a cardiologist. Second, I made small changes to my lifestyle. Things like eating cleaner, drinking less, working out more and getting outside as much as I could. Hell, I even started teaching spin classes at 5:30 in the morning.

For example, if you’re navigating a ship from San Diego to Hawaii and you’re off by one degree you will be 60 nautical miles off course and miss the islands all together.

Bringing it back to you and me, the smallest of changes to our daily habits…into our lives can change our course all together.

I wanted to share three things I’ve done to help me. Three small steps that helped me become a happier, healthier version of myself. I don’t know if these are for you, but I think there is value in hearing what has worked for others in order to seek what works for you.

1.??? Start each day by making your bed. We’ve talked about this on The Dadass Podcast. I can’t imagine a day where the bed isn’t made. It’s something in the earlier hours of my day that I can control and it sets me up for the next few tasks. It’s become second nature, that after I make the bed, I drop and knock out 40 pushups. I’m 38. I want to be in the best shape of my life at 40. Each morning while making the bed I now set my mind for the day. Then I do 40 pushups and focus on becoming the healthiest version of myself when most men decline in health.

2.??? Daily 227. I’m not big on setting new years resolutions, but I love setting goals with a strategy to help me achieve those goals. One year I came up with the Daily 227. I chose the number because it was the address of the first house I remember living in. But the Daily 227 was a daily reminder to do:

• Twice a day do something active.
• Only check social media or my emails twice during work.
• Give thanks through prayer or gratitude seven times to remember that wherever I am in life isn’t that bad.

I’ve even swapped out “Daily” for themed words like “Discipline,” “Relevant” and others that set a new direction for me or encouraged a growth mindset on a new outlook or character.

3.??? Habit Stack your way to doing more. If you aren’t familiar with this practice, it’s when you relate two things together to accomplish twice as much. If you’re brushing your teeth in the morning, maybe your stretching or focusing on getting a stronger mindset. Maybe you’re meditating while enjoying your coffee. For me, I began practice habit stacking after seeing the Cardiologist. The Doc encouraged more cardio for 25 minutes that really pushed my heart because that was more beneficial than doing weights as much as I had been. I also knew I needed to keep my mind sharp and read more. So now I do 25 minutes of cardio and read leadership books.

Gentlemen, we don’t have to do a lot. We just have to show up. But to fully be present in showing up, we have to make sure we’re on the right course.

To change the course of our life doesn’t have to start with something huge. A lot of small, manageable changes make a huge difference. We don’t stand at the foot of a mountain and magically appear at the summit…it takes thousands of small steps to get to the mountain top.?

But it only happens if we first show up…