Changing conversations: How great leaders replace judgement with curiosity

My colleagues and I at Implement Consulting Group believe that true organizational change and transformation happens through changing conversations – the conversations people have with each other, and the conversations people have with themselves. One key opportunity we see for leaders to improve the quality of their conversations is to replace judgment with curiosity. That is not to say that leaders should never judge. There is a time and a place for judgment and exercising good judgment is an important leadership skill, but leaders cannot be judgmental and curious at the same time.

Judgment narrows our vision; curiosity expands it. When in judgment mode, we tend to quickly categorize situations, ideas, and even other people – “good/”bad,” “right”/”wrong,” “this kind of person”/”that kind of person,” etc. In contrast, curiosity opens us up to other possibilities, breathing new life into our conversations. The invitation to leaders is to stay curious a little longer and a little more often, instead of defaulting to judgement.

More curiosity-driven conversations can benefit individual, team, and organizational performance in at least three ways.

1. Stronger relationships and collaboration

As Psychology Professor Todd Kashdan and his colleagues have found in their research, curiosity about other people enables relationship-building. Their findings suggest that leaders who show curiosity about others are better at connecting and earning trust with their team members. They are also more likely to receive social support and to successfully resolve conflicts with their colleagues, compared to less curious leaders.

As Wes Becton describes in his Ted Talk, Be Curious – Don’t Be Judgmental, “curious questions draw people to us; questions coming from a place of judgment push people away.” When we ask questions with genuine interest about other people’s perspectives and experiences, they are more likely to lean into the conversation. On the flip side, asking questions that cast judgment and make assumptions can lead people to disengage. No one likes to feel put in a box, especially not one covered in unwanted labels (e.g., “incompetent”).

Creating a team climate in which everyone can speak up and contribute to the fullest is essential for team performance. According to Google’s research on high-performing teams, the number one most important success factor is psychological safety. Harvard Business School Professor and psychological safety expert Amy Edmondson defines psychological safety as the belief that people can share ideas, make mistakes, and ask questions without fear of being punished or humiliated. In other words, people aren’t afraid of being judged, which gives rise to the next benefit.

2. Higher quality decisions and ideas

Curious questions get more perspectives on the table, which can lead to better decisions and ideas. As individuals we are subject to hundreds of cognitive biases that impact the quality of thinking. For example, we tend to search for information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs (confirmation bias). Conversations with people who see things differently can lead us to critical information that we may have otherwise missed. Whereas judging other perspectives can leave us with tunnel vision, being curious about other points of view allows us to broaden our understanding of the situation. In this way, curiosity enables higher quality decision-making.

Being asked curious questions can also clarify our thinking and spark new insights. A famous example is the origin story of the Polaroid instant camera. As legend has it, Inventor Edwin Land’s curious three-year old daughter asked him why they had to wait for the film to be processed. Curious questions surface assumptions (e.g., “we have to wait to see our photos”), which can then be challenged in the form of innovation.

As Todd Kashdan and colleagues have also found in their research, curiosity supports creativity and innovation, both within groups and individuals. The positive impact on collective creativity and innovation may be explained by the collaborative atmosphere that curiosity invites. A likely explanation for the positive impact on individual creativity and innovation is that curious people are more inclined to seek out different perspectives and to explore new ways of doing things, compared to less curious people. Whether they explore on their own or in conversation with others, the likely result is fresh inspiration for their current work – and learning for the future, which brings us to a third benefit.

3. More learning and development

A fascinating insight that Claudio Fernández-Aráoz , Andrew Roscoe , and Kentaro Aramaki have shared from their decades of experience with executive search is that curiosity is the best predictor of strength in all seven leadership competencies they measure: results orientation, strategic orientation, collaboration and influence, team leadership, developing organizational capabilities, change leadership, and market understanding. They argue that curiosity is key for leadership potential, particularly when paired with developmental experiences that “transform curiosity into competence.” Such experiences include working abroad or on multicultural teams, exposure to different kinds of business scenarios (e.g., rapid growth, M&A, turnarounds), and managing larger teams.

In my own research on developing leadership through international experiences, I found that curiosity was important for growth. The leaders who developed the most from their experiences living and working abroad were curious about cultural differences. Rather than being judgmental of customs and practices they weren’t used to or didn’t understand, they were open-minded – and interested in knowing more. Their curiosity motivated them to seek opportunities for interaction with locals, and through those interactions, they learned how to lead effectively in their host countries.

In addition to curiosity about the world around them, leaders’ curiosity about their inner worlds also matter for development. Leaders who are curious about themselves wonder who they might become next, instead of locking down their current identities and beliefs. Such leaders are more likely to embrace new challenges and to show resilience during those experiences. As Harvard Medical School Psychologist Susan David, Ph.D. describes, exploring our emotions with curiosity enables us to move through and learn from them – instead of getting stuck in reactivity. Rather than judging our anger, sadness, or anxiety, we can reflect on what those emotions may be telling us about ourselves and the situation.

Leadership tips for replacing judgment with curiosity:

• Get curious about your judgment: Notice when you feel yourself shifting into judgment mode. See if there is a pattern in the kinds of people or situations that take you there and consider why. Also reflect on how judgment shows up in your visible behaviors and impacts the people around you.
• Search for the goodness: Assume that every individual has something valuable to teach you. To get curious about a particular individual, reflect on the following: What is this person an expert in? What unique perspectives do they bring to the table?
• Make everyone a hero: Leverage the power of curiosity for conflict resolution. Judgement can lead to “us” versus “them” thinking, where we are the heroes and they are the villains. Leadership and complexity expert Jennifer Garvey Berger has a great reflection question that invites us into others’ perspectives: How is this person a hero?
• Ask curious questions: Be a strong role model for curiosity in your team. In addition to the questions we ask ourselves, the questions we ask others are important for curiosity-driven conversations. Questions that start with “why?”, “what if…?”, and “how might we…?” can take creative problem-solving discussions to the next level.
• Appreciate (or at least tolerate) wild ideas: Criticizing people’s ideas is a curiosity killer, but of course not all ideas are good. One tip from top management thinker Roger Martin is to “let bad ideas kill themselves.” Instead of shutting people down, ask: How might we design an experiment to test that idea? Another tip is to try Pixar’s “plussing” strategy, where people listen to each other’s ideas, affirm the part they like, and then suggest how to build on and improve it (e.g., “what I like about Woody’s eyes is…and what if we…”).
• Expand your horizons: Do an inventory of your current knowledge and skills areas and consider what other subject matters, industries, cultures, business areas, etc. you might benefit from exploring. Pursuing continuous learning and development is another way to encourage more curiosity in yourself and others.

Leaders are invited to follow these tips to bring more curiosity (and less judgment) into their conversations with themselves and others – for the benefit of their teams, their organizations, and even the world around them. As Wes says at the conclusion of his Ted Talk, “If we all become a little more curious and a little less judgmental we can save the world and change it – one conversation at a time.”

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References:

Berger, J. G. (2019). Unlocking leadership mindtraps: How to thrive in complexity. Stanford University Press.

Cotter, K. C. (2022). Developing global leader self-complexity through international experience. In Advances in Global Leadership. Emerald Publishing Limited.

David, S. (2016). Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life. Penguin.

Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44, 350-383.

Fernandez-Araoz, C., Roscoe, A., & Aramaki, K. (2018). From curious to competent. Harvard Business Review, 96, 61.

Gino, F. (2018). Why curiosity matters. Harvard Business Review.

Kashdan, T. B., Disabato, D. J., Goodman, F. R., & Naughton, C. (2018). The five dimensions of curiosity. Harvard Business Review, 96, 58-60.