The changes within...

After my father's death in 2018, I realised how life has influenced me; how I had internalized grief, pain and aggression; and how am I had started reacting emotionally to the events instead of responding rationally. Since 2020 I have been actively and consciously trying to change my own attitude to life. I see a huge change within me and I see how my engagement in peacebuilding initiatives has brought noticeable changes. If I may point out some major aspects these can be:

1. Working directly with communities affected by conflict, made me feel their pain with deeper empathy. Being close to others' suffering I became more sensitive and responsive because empathy fostered compassion, which is now becoming a core trait, influencing how I approach conflict, relationships, and other social situations. I do not only consider what people are doing, I realise what they feel and I identify the causes around them, not within them.
2. Peacebuilding can begin at home, neighborhood, institutions or elsewhere but once I stepped in I could not stepp out, although in Pakistan is typically a challenging field, demanding adaptability to complex and sometimes dangerous environments. I can see that in these years I become more resilient, learning to manage stress, adapt to changing circumstances, and stay committed to my goals despite setbacks.
3. The most difficult but significant self transformation was to be more tolerant during unavoidable interactions where people directly target me and my work of peacebuilding. I often had to navigate cultural, religious, and political differences, that also helped in developing tolerance and a willingness to understand diverse perspectives. I needed to practice active listening and non-violent communication which enhanced my patience and calm.
4. Working with and managing conflicts enabled me to identify my own ways of negotiation and conflict resolution abilities. It has been an enriching experience to use my communication skills and self-confidence to control the variables that escalate tensions. This skillset often translated into a level-headed approach to personal and professional challenges.
5. I gradually realized that to become an effective peacebuilder I need to engage in self-reflection more frequently and regularly to understand my own biases, motivations, and their impact. This helped me to look at my own perspectives with a critical lens. Once identifying my own dark thoughts and negative feelings I began to communicate with open-mindedness and a willingness to learn from others, which has now become deeply ingrained personality trait.
6. Reading literature, case studies and report regarding women rights, child rights, and minoritiy rights and rights of people with special needs as well as gender minorities, gave me the exposure to injustice and human rights challenges that strengthened my ethical principles, often giving me a new perspective of justice and moral commitment. This heightened awareness shaped my personality leading to a strong sense of responsibility and integrity in various aspects of life, mainly as an educator and psychologist.
7. Due to the emotional intensity of peacebuilding work, I also had to learn effective ways to manage my own emotions to avoid burnout. Learning about the painful realities of so many vulnerable population groups in Pakistan was an emotional chaos. I learned yoga, worked with people of performing arts, adopted travelling and spending time in natural environment, away from urban settings. This emotional regulation is helping me remain calm and focused under pressure, that is a must for peacebuilder.

My self reflection, critical thinking, and improving my own calm and inner peace continues as I continue to work for peace through education...