The Changed Mind of a Soon-to-be College Parent

As a SOON-TO-BE COLLEGE PARENT – I’ve recently experienced an unexpected 180 about how my son Jake can make the right decisions about choosing his major and which among the five schools he’s been accepted to enroll.

With May 1 being the standard decision deadline for most college applicants, I hope sharing this thought process and my experience will help them and other parents make similar choices about course selections, degree paths and schools.

NO SUBSTITUTE FOR EXPERIENCE

On one hand, I’ve gained a lot of insight through my experiences the past 14 years in my line of work as founder of the Internship Institute. On another, I’ve been grasping at the same straws as everyone else. One constant in my perspective is knowing the essential need for students to develop workplace skills by doing multiple internships. Some things can only be learned by doing. For most professional career paths, gaining that work experience matters more, especially when it comes to job offers AND starting salaries.

I’ve really pushed Jake the past couple years to explore some of the things that interest him. At one point, he thought he wanted to be a play-by-play sports commentator.  We were fortunate to find an opportunity to enroll him in a sports broadcasting training program. It was a week-long immersed experience, including living in a college dorm. As we kind of suspected, the main thing he learned was that it’s not what he wants to do. Money well invested! 

When the time came to do his applications, he decided the business schools were the best choice, in part because that path would give him a foundation to specialize in areas like management or marketing. 

In fact, one of the schools he decided to apply was my alma mater, Temple University (in Philadelphia).  Upon visiting the campus last year, I distinctly recall the tour guide making a border-line joke about how the third most popular major for students at this esteemed institution of higher education is “Undeclared.”

I immediately heard my inner monologue go into soap box mode.

It fires me up knowing how so many young adults are so unprepared as they (and their parents) write the first of many checks based on an uninformed decision. Here we are about to join the ranks of those in many tens of thousands of dollars - and potentially decades - of debt, and for what?  

I am all-too familiar with the stats about student debt, drop-out rates and unnecessary costs of taking more than four years to earn a degree because of losing credits by being Undeclared or switching majors. This lack of preparation is a failure of K-12, I thought. They do next to nothing to expose students to career paths. We’re raising an aimless generation!  

Peoples’ lives, liberties and happiness are at stake!

Ok, I was beyond fired up. Enough said. I was equally relieved to think that my son will have a broad-based business education and be able to specialize when he’s more certain. We have a leg up – or so I thought.

In the months since, Jake decided to use his Senior year electives to take a Sports Marketing class and one for Entrepreneurship. It’s hard to know whether his teachers are less than inspiring or that the one he has for Behavioral Science is that much better – but these experiences have instilled some doubt about committing to Business school.

Part of me was glad to see him thinking more for himself.  The other part was beginning to feel like I’d failed.

THE 180

Then it dawned on me. Another one of my soapbox topics is about how degrees matter less and less, at least when it comes to which degree someone earns. In fact, one of the main questions I pose when speaking at professional events is: “How many here actually landed a job in their field of study?” The informal data I’ve gathered on this topic is sadly consistent. The average response is about 15 percent. Unbelievable! On the optimistic side, there’s no doubt that those who find themselves in other lines of work are at least as happy about it.

This all adds up to a hidden epidemic and another article topic at some point. But in Jake’s case, it opened my eyes to the benefits of having the flexibility to take various classes. Most schools allow for at least the mid-point of Sophomore year to choose a major and some even to the end, depending on the degree requirements.

The light bulb brightened.

Instead of considering those first two years as his floundering aimlessly, they can give him the flexibility to balance a mix of exploratory courses with those that could build the core competencies he’ll need to succeed in life. Rather than basing his initial academic experience on a major, we can consider what he can improve and develop for future success. 

In addition to courses like marketing, social sciences or other areas of interest, he can focus on the likes of public speaking, writing, project management and social media. We’ll also consider how he can improve other essential workplace skills like productivity, teamwork, critical thinking or emotional intelligence to help him perform at his best. Those decisions lie ahead.

NEW PRIORITIES FOR COLLEGE SELECTION

This suddenly makes it less relevant to base the decision on certain schools, academic departments and degree accreditation. Our focus has turned to evaluating the strength of the academic advising department, our approach to narrow degree interests while also assuring on-time graduation, how schools structure the “First-Year Experience” and the flexibility of majors and degree requirements. Sometimes it’s okay to be in the weeds.

Among the five schools to which he applied and is accepted, two are smaller (about 7,000 undergrads), two are very large (over 30,000) and one is mid-sized (about 17,000). By default, the smaller institutions may not have enough variety of course offerings to explore various career paths. The concern with the large ones is that he’ll be more of a number and get lost having less faculty interaction and overall support.

The mid-sized school seems like it could be just right. I’ve spoken with someone in the academic advising department and really like how they’ve structured their “Exploratory Studies” program. For our part (as parents and investors), we’re now [softly] encouraging him to choose this college, but we’re still holding back to assure he feels it’s his decision. It helps that a number of his friends are deciding to go there.

BEGINNING WITH THE END IN MIND

Before wrapping up, there’s one core priority about career pathways that’s essential for all other soon-to-be and current college parents and students to consider. 

Times have changed. Employer values have shifted. Jobs of the future are ever-shifting. Automation is exponential. More and more people are joining the “Gig Economy” and make work-life balance a higher priority. I realize that it’s not fair or accurate to impose some of my values about the work world, at least for now.

To that end, the most important consideration of all may well be to look beyond college to the future lifestyle, work balance and experience Jake will want for himself. College is only the means to an end. The destination is entirely more essential. So while he may not know what degree to pursue, I’m encouraging him to envision what he does as well as what he does not want his future work-life to be like.

Let’s say Jake’s exposure to broadcasting had affirmed that it’s something he enjoys and wants to earn a degree. Liking it is far from evaluating the full experience and lifestyle impact. He’d also need to consider how that career requires he “pay his dues” and work his way up from doing play-by-play from some minor league baseball or hockey teams and for very little pay. 

There are very few elite jobs in that profession and many of them are occupied by former players and coaches.  He’d have to think about the many late nights and long stretches traveling, mostly on a bus. If he also sees himself having a family one day, how will that lifestyle align with those priorities?

My wife Erica and I have a very good friend whose son was all-in to become an engineer. He made a B-line to earn his degree at a reputable engineering school. He did his internships and got an amazing job offer with a great company. He could hardly contain his excitement about all he’d accomplished and earning himself such a solid landing in the real world.

That was until after about six months into the job, he realized that being in a quiet cubicle for the next however many decades would make for a miserable work life. The same goes for anyone considering similar careers doing professional services – like architects, accountants, lawyers, IT or public relations, where – at least on the consulting side - time is money and most work is driven by “billable hours” at some desk. 

Think at least twice. 

Fortunately, he’s an exceptional young man. He decided to pursue a side gig and was able to replace his income in 18 months. It’s great to see him have the the work-life he truly wanted for himself, but not quite as uplifting to know he dedicated all those years of hard work to learn about engineering and invested in that expensive degree.

Thinking through and experiencing this work lifestyle seems entirely more essential for a college student to consider that than it is for a high school student to choose what diploma to earn.   

LEARN BY DOING

Of course, there’s only so much anyone can do conceptually. This is another reason why internships are so vital. I’ll revisit this topic in various ways. What’s most relevant here is for every college student to do at least three internships with the first being no later than Sophomore year. This is important for them to validate their field of interest. If they learn it’s not for them, they’ll still have time to switch majors without losing credits and graduate on time instead of taking on more debt while missing paychecks.

For now, I wish all of you soon-to-be college parents and students all the best as you finalize your big decisions and embark on one of life’s most exciting chapters. 

Thanks for your interest! If anyone has more value to add, please keep the topic going in the comments. Please feel free to share this article with others who’d benefit.

#BeTheDifference