Changed mind ...

?On the eve of his … 90 something’th birthday, I have a confession to make. I used to think my father was mean.

Yes, I used to think my father was just a mean old man. All his rules, be home by this time, do this, don’t do that…I said no. Yeah, in my mind he was crazy…hateful. But now, oh my…a few weeks back we had tornadoes in my area. The day after he called to check and make sure we were all still here. Happy to report, no damage on my end. The call itself took me back to all those things he used to say way back when … Things like ….

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Always love your mother…and don’t waste time with anyone who doesn’t: He has this saying; it goes like this, “If God made anything more beautiful than a mother He kept it up there in Heaven for himself. Mothers, they’re so special; yes, they are and God misses them so much that from time to time, He calls them back home.” You never know when yours will get that call…so don’t waste time with those who don’t understand how special, how sacred, how things I can’t even put into words, their mother is. More importantly, don’t waste time not loving yours.

Put the trash out and lock up: When I was a teen it was my responsibility to lock the house up at night but before I did, I had to put the trash was out. I remember a time or two I forgot and in that small frame house of ours, the stench from the day before is how the new day began. It wasn’t a good feeling. Hey sometimes you’ll have a trashy day on the inside but don’t make the mistake of taking with you into tomorrow. If you have a bad day, before going to bed, get over it…lock up your mind, lock up your heart…and put that trash out!

Eat right: Growing up I hated all vegetables and most fruits, but he forced me to eat them all. He always ate his which explains why he gets along better than people half his age. I do better now and he encourages me to keep eating good foods, and be sure I’m thinking good thoughts. Because good or bad, whatever you put inside, food or thoughts, is going to show up on the outside.

Don’t you speed up: I remember the first time he rode out of town with me. We were riding along and out of nowhere a sports car blew by us! My first impulse was to speed up to try and catch it but before I could, he tapped me on my knee and said, “Hey don’t you speed up, keep going at your pace; you’ll end up right there with him…and maybe ahead.” A few minutes later…I looked to my left and that car was right there. We eventually passed it…Sometimes you’ll look at what so and so is doing or what they got and wonder why you don’t. Your first impulse will be to speed up. Do yourself a favor…don’t do that. Just keep moving at your pace…eventually you’ll catch up…you might even pass them…

Run: When my mother passed, my father was working three jobs and looking for a fourth. It wasn’t for money, he needed something to keep his mind off the fact that he lost the love of his life. One day, there were no more shifts to work, no more clocks to punch, no more jobs to go to…so in his slack’s and wingtips, he took off running. He took off running and said it was the best feeling he’d ever felt. He’s been running every since. Running cleared his mind, it gave him a purpose; it gave him the peace that he needed to keep going. I’m not saying that you need to become a runner; not literally anyway. But you’re never going to get to where you want to go by just sitting there. Try running.

Run some more: There were days when he used to run and the answers, the reasons why, the peace that he was seeking came after a short run. Then there were those days when it called for him to run a little further…run some more as he likes to say. When you feel the urge to run some more, that’s not your trainer or your diet plan calling you; that’s the answer, the why, the peace you’re seeking so don’t stop; run some more.

God really is listening, and you should be too: “You pray every morning and night and you don’t need to use all of them big words just talk”, is what he always says when we talk about prayer. Just talk because He listens and not only does He listen…He answers, so make sure you’re listening.

Those are not friends, those are associates: “One of your associates is at the door”. Associates…no, that’s my friend I thought but he saw differently…now I do too. Over the course of time, the volume of traffic at my door has dropped. Some people, associates if you will, have come and gone…but my real friends keep coming by. The longer you live the more obvious the difference between a friend and an associate will become. Hold onto those friends…make memories with and cherish them…they’re gifts.

All those lessons and so many more…that was wisdom he was passing along. He knew how much we’d miss my mother…and he also knew we’d never understand how others could mistreat theirs. My old man understood that with all we’d been through our minds would be susceptible to a lot of negative stuff…trash…so he wanted us to think good thoughts to keep us standing tall. He understood that others had a head start because we lost so much in one day. But he also knew that if we tried to keep up, we never could but if we kept going, we would catch up and even pass some. He was right. There were days I know I wanted to stop running…but I ran some more. I found out that God really does listen…and He talks back, and I know who my friends are too. 

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Growing up, if you ever thought your parents were crazy…they were just crazy about you.

If you felt as though they were ever being hateful…it’s only because they cared.

And if you thought they were being mean…all they were really doing was saying I love you…