Change your story, change your life: Here’s how! ??

Welcome to Quick Confidence! This weekly letter delivers a spritz of stories, tips and simple actions that will build your confidence and your power. Each quick tip bolsters confidence in your body, mind, and relationships so you can lead yourself and others to greatness.?

When I was 28, I got a big promotion to a consultant on leadership and culture.

I started to manage more of our VIP client projects. I also got a bunch of tougher, more complex internal assignments.?

Did I feel proud and even validated to get the gig? For sure!?

But in truth – even a few months into the role – I felt completely out of my depth.?

My story was, “I’m in too deep - this is way too much for me.”

I felt like a little kid, wearing an adult-sized coat that was 6 sizes too big. And I was sure that everyone around me must’ve had that same picture in their head when they looked at me!?

Have you ever done something like that? Maybe an event happened in your life, and you created an interpretation about it. Then, you added *certainty* to that interpretation. …and it became your story.

If you’re ready to rewrite some of the old, confidence-draining stories fueling your everyday actions, join me in experimenting with the tips below!

Quick Confidence Tips to Change your Story and Change Your Life:

1. Embodied: Scan how you feel physically about your story. Do you feel good? Does your story serve you and energize you? If not, THIS is a sign to change it, to really look at the elements of it and think of a more empowering frame. For example, when I told myself I was in over my head with my promotion, I felt tight in my chest - stiff - and my heartbeat got faster. Instead I could have told myself, “I can do hard things – and this promotion is proof of that.” Or, “I’ve stretched myself plenty of times before and I’ll do it again.” Or, “This is going to be a cool new learning adventure.” Just saying those phrases makes me breathe easier and feel little pangs of excitement. How about you? How will you challenge a story you’ve been writing or repeating – and change the feeling in your body?
2. Interpersonal: Invite others to challenge your negativity bias. According to UC Berkeley, negativity bias is the propensity to give more weight in our minds to things that go wrong than to things that go right. When that happens, one negative interpretation can hijack our minds in ways that can be detrimental to our work, relationships, health, and happiness! If you can relate, my advice here is to get out of your own head. Invite a friend or trusted family member to look at your story with you. Share how you’re interpreting whatever’s going on. And then invite them to challenge it with you!
3. Mindset: Your story is not a marble statue. There’s a reason why marble has been the preferred material for monumental sculptures since ancient times – it’s because it’s long-lasting and durable. Here’s the thing though. Thinking of a discouraging story in a fixed, set way doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t leave any room for growth or change – or other interpretations. So, ease up on the notion that your take (on whatever happened) is the only way. It’s not! Try right now to think of some other explanations or interpretations of events in your past that you have framed negatively. Then remind yourself that at any time, you can reinterpret your story…that it’s not chiseled to completion.?

Stories have power, and as ancient myths, fairytales and folklore tell us, they mean a lot to humans. So why would you settle for anything less than a confidence-boosting story for yourself? Whether professionally or personally, try telling yourself a new story right now. What’s an old story that doesn’t make you feel good? Reinterpret it! I’d love to see your new stories in the comments.

You know that exciting new business book you’ve been wanting to read — but can’t find the time to break open? There’s?getAbstract?for that! This awesome service offers 10-minute summaries of the best business books in the world, and has a library of over 22,000 text and audio books.

Just think about what you could do with that learning: change an old mindset, map out a new career opportunity, launch a side hustle, and more. Grab your?free trial here! In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a paid spokesperson for GetAbstract. I only recommend products and services that I use and love so you are in good hands.