Change your story, change your journey

Stories have become powerful narratives in social media to position your brand, increase engagement and share values. But we often overlook the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

It’s all too easy to be your own worst critic, creating negative stories that prevent you from getting what you truly want or taking chances out of fear of performing poorly.

What's worse is that negative stories become stronger and more persuasive the more we reinforce them. It's easy to let our negative narratives spiral out of control and convince ourselves that we're not capable or deserving of success.

There may be some truth in the stories you tell, but just because something was true, doesn’t mean it has to be true going forward. You always have a choice. You can choose how you approach things and you can change how you do things.

I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. And I’m not saying that just thinking positively about things will make them true; it won’t, but looking at your stories realistically with a fresh perspective can help you to see them differently and change the narrative.

And if there is a real stumbling block that you can’t change, determine what you can do instead.

Here are my 3 steps to changing your story.

1 Recognize

The first step is to recognize your negative stories so that you can make a conscious effort to challenge, clarify and reframe your negative thoughts.

• What are the details of the negative story?
• Are they valid today?
• What words are you using that enforce the negative narrative?
• What’s holding you back? Can you change it?

2 Reframe

It’s essential to reframe your story with a fresh perspective?–?acknowledging the negative may still exist and be valid, but challenging yourself to focus on more positive outcomes.

Create an alternative story for moving forward.

For example

I’m terrible at giving presentations. I freeze up and forget what I want to say. Becomes I’m not comfortable giving presentations, but I know I have a lot of good information to share. I plan to practice by recording myself beforehand and playing it back to review, then start speaking to small groups.

I know I need to manage what I eat, but I had such terrible experiences as a child I ?used food to comfort myself and now I can’t change. Becomes I used to eat food to comfort myself as a child, but I’m not a child anymore, I’m going to choose to live my life as a responsible adult and start making informed decisions.

I’m not going to apply for that job, it looks great, but I’m totally unqualified. Becomes I’ve polished up my resume to more effectively position myself for the job and I’m going to do everything I can in the hopes of winning it. If I don’t get it, I’ll have had more practice interviewing.

I’m the way I am, short, a little different and with awful hair. Becomes Appearance is in the eye of the beholder. I choose to see my winning smile, my flare for fun fashion, and my eclectic hairstyle.

I should be further along in my career by now, but I haven’t achieved anything. Becomes I’m not exactly where I want to be in my career but I have had some successes and I plan to move forward by doing A, B, and C.

Keep repeating this narrative until this is the story you tell yourself!

2 Resilience

Use roadblocks or negative situations as moments of growth and resilience rather than obstacles to forever change your narrative by pivoting in those instances.

Change doesn’t happen overnight; change happens in small increments that build upon each other.

When you encounter roadblocks ask yourself if I can’t do X what can I do? Inch forward, pivot, and just keep moving! Eventually, you’ll achieve the change you’re looking for.

It's natural to get discouraged by the negative, but having an enduring attitude of resilience yields growth. Establishing a mindset that you won’t quit even if your pursuit is taking longer than expected will move you toward achieving your ultimate goal. It will be uncomfortable at times, but know that this is part of the process that leads to something beautiful!

A little snippet from one of my favorite animated children’s Christmas movies – Santa Clause is Coming to Town, ABC Family, 1970. Sorry for the Christmas theme!

Put one foot in front of the other

And soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor

You put one foot in front of the other

And soon you'll be walking out the door

Summary

1. Recognize your negative stories so that you can make a conscious effort to challenge, clarify and reframe your negative thoughts.
2. Reframe your story with a fresh perspective?–?acknowledging that the negative may still exist and be valid, but challenging yourself to focus on more positive outcomes.
3. Use resilience and mindset to overcome obstacles and pivot for incremental growth.?

Join me on Mar 22 on The Essential Mindset Talk Show as I share a wealth of experience on the myths and challenges of work-life balance and creating work-life success instead!

April 26 on The Essential Mindset Talk Show for Conquer Imposter Syndrome to Advance Your Career . Join me and my special guest Kim Meninger to talk about strategies that can help you overcome imposter syndrome.

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Welcome to the Leading With Resilience newsletter! I’m excited to be sharing this newsletter on building essential resilience for success in your life and career. Every month, you’ll receive valuable tips and resources to help you build the resilience you need to thrive. I encourage you to?subscribe ?so you don’t miss a single edition. With actionable advice and a positive outlook, my newsletter will help you develop the essential resilience you need to succeed!

I’m passionate about helping you overcome stress and achieve resilience, optimum health, and sustainable success because I’ve been there! For 32+ years I was a globetrotting industry expert working with Fortune 100 companies. I traveled the world sharing my methodology with organizations, speaking and keynoting at conferences, helping to develop teams, hire individuals, and mentor key individuals to grow into their strengths. And unknown to anyone, I did it while learning to manage my lifelong chronic health. At times, my stress levels were overwhelming, but I learned to lead with resilience to enable me and my business to thrive!?Now as a Health Coach and Career Mentor, I help you to lead with resilience too! It truly is the key to your sustainable success!

Thanks for reading. I look forward to sharing more with you in future editions!

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