Change Your Point of View and Win!

Too many of us are failing because we only consider how things affect us. Want to be a better employee, parent, sales professional, teacher, spouse or general leader? The key to victory in a lot of cases is simply getting out of our mind and stepping hypothetically into the mind of the person sitting across the table. To win, you must communicate how you will help the other party achieve their goals. 

Most people love to talk about themselves. I’ve found many of my favorite people are those who will listen to me talk about myself. It isn’t uncommon, even if it is rare to identify that is why they’re on the favorite list. Winning people over is not terribly difficult if we think about it for a moment.

-Show yourself friendly

-Listen to what people are saying

-Smile

-Ask questions about things they are interested in

-Don’t talk too much

-Offer to help them

In life a lot of us are in our own mind so often, we forget we’re not the center of the universe. We’re busy, we have things to accomplish and there’s precious little time to get it all done. Many of us feel that way. Frankly many are overwhelmed. Most are not trying to be anti-social; they simply have not been taught how to excel at socializing properly. I will help you be a better you and win in life more. Simply allow me to help you see the key to improving.

The Secret Sauce

Instead of focusing on how others can help you get what you want, you need to think about the win-win principal. Zig Ziglar said “If you help enough people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.” That is the premise for what is missing in most people. They are not thinking about the other party properly. We focus naturally on what we need and what we want from others, instead of how we can serve and help them.

If you want to be a better sales professional, selling features is not the best thing to communicate to a prospect. Instead, sharing with them how that product or service is going to help them accomplish their goal/s will work much better. Changing the mindset of selling based on what you have to offer and concentrating on what will help them is a point of view shift.

The Point of View Shift

A point of view shift is not just for sales professionals. This can work for pretty much anything that involves more than one person. A married couple often fight as they clash over getting their needs met. I’ve learned that my wife is much more likely to help me, when she sees I’m trying to help meet her needs. For example, my wife loves a clean house. If I help get things straightened up and organized throughout the day, I’m more likely to get one of my favorite meals for dinner. Also helping to try and get my wife what she wants makes it easier for her to forgive me when I make a mistake. 

I think happy marriages can come from good communication and serving the needs of your spouse. It takes work but it’s worth it!

A simple shift away from everything self-serving towards service to others is the major change of perspective that will ultimately help us win. The challenge is to consider how others think and then communicate with them in a way that allows for cooperation to accomplish what they are after. 

A job seeker is naturally thinking about how to land the job, how much it will pay and how it would meet their needs. The hiring manager is worried about finding a person to fill a hole in their company. If the job seeker wants to wow the hiring manager, they could ask some probing questions about the reason the job is available and what the employer is hoping from the new employee.  Once they get the answers, they could spend the rest of the time trying to demonstrate how their skills and experience will help fill that need. With the change in approach, even if they are not the most qualified, they likely will still win the job.

The Winning Mentality

You might be a little frustrated with me after reading this and I get it. It took me a long time to figure out how to affectively win over the hearts and minds of so many different people. It is amazing that the answer really boils down to serving others in the way that helps them accomplish their objectives. The good news here is that once you start practicing the new philosophy, it will get easier to apply across the board.

Where it was once difficult and awkward for me to think about helping others especially when I needed to get things done urgently, it’s far more natural to me now. I remember in those moments when I had important and time sensitive things that I needed to accomplish thinking, “I don’t have time for this.” In the beginning before you find out how well it works, you will likely doubt the power of the new approach too. 

Like any change, you probably want to start small and build it up as you get better and grow confidence in how the winning mentality works for you. Pick the most important relationship in your life and start trying to think like them. Help them. Watch how the relationship blossoms. Perhaps you will also pick one of the most challenging relationships you have, one that’s been fractured or where there is some stress and do the same thing. The formula can work on just about anyone.

Wrapping Up

Some people are selfish and no matter how much you help them, they will not reciprocate. The good news is that no matter how they help you, if you apply the Point of View shift, you will still find they are more receptive to you. Remember what Zig Ziglar said about helping people. He used the word enough, because you might not get a one to one return on investment. 

The awesome thing about helping others is it can start to become your reputation. I help people with #ProjectHelpYouGrow and now I have a reputation for being selfless. When I need help, a lot of times people will volunteer to help me that I have never personally done anything for. 

Having a heart to serve has also helped me with my self-esteem. When I go to bed at night, I know I’ve done things throughout the day to help other people accomplish their goals.  That knowledge brings me joy day in and day out. This lifestyle is also one that I’m happy to set as an example for my friends and family, especially my children. Let my legacy be that I lived to help others. That is possible, not only for me, but for you as well.

Life is too short to be selfish. Want to win? Figure out what the person sitting across from you wants and help them get it if you can.