Change Your Brain or Change Your Environment? By Jacqui Bowley

As an Audhder (someone with both autism and ADHD) I’ve struggled with executive functioning my whole life. However, as I wasn’t diagnosed until fairly recently, I spent most of my life thinking I was just an introvert who wasn’t very good at adulting. Those things are still true but I now better understand why they’re true.??

Executive functions are essentially the cognitive processes that affect your thoughts and actions. They impact things like impulse control, working memory, emotion control, focus, planning & organisation, prioritisation, time management, task initiation and mental flexibility.??

When we talk about Autism or ADHD (although this does also apply to other forms of neurodivergence) we tend to talk about them in terms of the executive function ‘problems’. The diagnostic criterion doesn’t help with its overuse of the word deficit. But are these problems or just differences???

It was trying to find solutions to the executive functioning problems that I was experiencing that led me to get a diagnosis in the first place. I was trying to understand problems like ‘why am I so easily distracted?’ (focus) or ‘why did I keep forgetting to do things like book dental appointments?’ (working memory) or ‘why couldn’t get started on chores or admin I needed to do?’ (task initiation).

Audhd as the answer to these questions initially seemed quite helpful as it came with a to-do list of things I could follow to start functioning like everyone else. I could take ADHD meds to help me focus, get a voice recorder to help with my memory and start therapy to help with my impulse control.?

The thing was this didn’t particularly help. Taking meds left me anxious, exhausted and less productive overall. The voice recorder was only as good as the times I remembered to turn it on which is still yet to happen – I’ve had it for nearly a year. Therapy also didn’t feel particularly great after working with someone who assured me they were experienced in working with ADHDers but still felt the need to ask why I just couldn’t get started on new tasks.??

Within a few months, I felt like I was not just back to square one but maybe had fallen off the board altogether. I still hadn’t solved any of my problems and the solutions I had tried had left me feeling a tad hopeless. I spent another few months reflecting on what I actually wanted and eventually concluded that I could either keep trying to change my brain to fit into my environment or simply change my environment to fit my brain.??

Trying to change my brain hadn’t worked and I had literally taken drugs to change my brain chemistry. I could have continued down that path and found a variation that did work for me – it does take multiple tries to work out the right drug and dose – but when I realised I was only taking ADHD meds in an attempt to focus differently (i.e. like a neurotypical does) it seemed like the wrong motivation. I realised the way I focus is just different and different isn’t bad. Being distracted by other things allows my brain to process and work through challenges more easily, having multiple disconnected thoughts in a short space of time allows me to make disparate connections that others wouldn’t be able to and splitting my focus means I’m a great multi-tasker.??

Likewise, when I tried therapy, I was doing it because it had been recommended to me as a way to ‘solve’ my Audhd problems. I could have again continued to find a new therapist and seen if that was a better fit but ultimately I really hate talking to people about how I feel and I don’t think any amount of talking therapy will change that. Even just using the voice recorder I was attempting to use a solution someone else had decided would work for my brain.

Changing my environment to fit my brain has so far been a much better solution although it’s still something I’m working on.? After being unable to get the right accommodation in my role, I switched from a hybrid job to a completely remote role. This means I have complete control over my environment so I can ensure I have the right level of distraction to focus. That level also changes frequently, some days I need complete silence, other days I need music playing loudly and sometimes I find listening to brown noise is the only thing that’ll allow me to get any work done.??

To help with my working memory, I added a to-do list app on my phone which sends me notifications of what things to do things each day (much better than the voice recorder). This also allows daily/weekly/monthly tasks to be added and has a habit tracker too. To ensure I stick with it, each task gets me so many points depending on factors within the app and I’ve set up my own reward system – 5 tasks might equate to 10 points and 10 points means I can nip down the road to get a takeaway coffee.??

Working from home has helped with task initiation too – for instance, getting ready in the morning and physically getting to an office-based job has a lot of tasks involved and combined with time-management problems meant I was often late. Whereas working from home, there are fewer steps involved so less stress on my executive functioning before I’ve even started the day. This often feels like a finite resource – sometimes referred to as having a set number of spoons for the day where each task you do uses a spoon until you run out and then you don’t have the energy to do any more tasks. Working from home frees up some mental space (uses up less of my daily spoons) so I can work on other tasks more easily. Plus if I’m really struggling, working in PJs is always an option.

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Jacqui Bowley freelances as a developmental editor because she believes that stories have the power to change the way we think and feel about the world around us.

To do this effectively, we need a diverse range of authors to tell their stories and share how they think and feel. Her focus is on working with authors from often overlooked backgrounds when it comes to traditional publishing - including my fellow autistics and ADHDers. She specialises in science fiction and fantasy books as they’re typically better equipped to imagine worlds different from our own, both real and hypothetical. Imagination is the key to making real-world change after all. ?

You can find out more about the work Jacqui does via her website https://jacqscribbles.com/, find writing and editing tips on Instagram @JacqScribbles or connect with her on LinkedIn.?